wuggle Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Totally. I'm the biggest feminazi, man-hater on LS. Aha , now it all makes sense :p:p
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Have we ? Is It ? there seems to be a cultural assumption that this is the case, as was demonstrated by the comment that bent pointed out. i'm questioning that assumption. it is a stereotype of african american families: absent father or fathers, kids by different fathers, single mother. this is how the media seems to portray black families, and the stereotype is so widespread at this point that it often goes without comment. bent's challenge to the comment it's sad and horrifying now that it's "catching up" in other communities highlighted a pretty good example of those assumptions. i'm interested in your take on it, though.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Aha , now it all makes sense :p:p Totally. I hate men, especially my fiance. I hate him so much that I plan to marry him. I only do nice things for him, because I'm lying in wait for when I divorce him, two months into our marriage, therefore, making me a triumphant walk-away wife. Of course, I'll make certain I'm pregnant by then, so his sperm doesn't go to waste. That's why I'm getting him to sign a prenup, to ensure for ease of transition!
wuggle Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 No particular take on it, I'm not American. I was just concerned that you might be saying stuff just for the sake of saying it, and in this case wasn't sure that was helpful. A statement like "as a culture we have come to expect african american communities to be riddled with crime and social ills" whilst probably meant just to be a commentry could actually cause more damage, as it contains an explicit acceptance that this is the way things are , I was merely questioning if the general population of the US thought this way or whether this was just a personal opinion. in the UK most people I speak to would be abhorred by this statement.
wuggle Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Totally. I hate men, especially my fiance. I hate him so much that I plan to marry him. I only do nice things for him, because I'm lying in wait for when I divorce him, two months into our marriage, therefore, making me a triumphant walk-away wife. Of course, I'll make certain I'm pregnant by then, so his sperm doesn't go to waste. That's why I'm getting him to sign a prenup, to ensure for ease of transition! And when can we expect the first posts from the little TBFs :laugh:
dobler33 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 No particular take on it, I'm not American. I was just concerned that you might be saying stuff just for the sake of saying it, and in this case wasn't sure that was helpful. A statement like "as a culture we have come to expect african american communities to be riddled with crime and social ills" whilst probably meant just to be a commentry could actually cause more damage, as it contains an explicit acceptance that this is the way things are , I was merely questioning if the general population of the US thought this way or whether this was just a personal opinion. in the UK most people I speak to would be abhorred by this statement. yeah, i'm abhorred by the assumption, that's why i was commenting on it. it is most definitely a stereotype in the states, one that i see harming all communities all the time in my work. that's why i was interested in deconstructing it. i recognize that it is possible to inadvertantly uphold a stereotype in the effort to debunk it, and i sincerely hope i haven't fallen into that pothole. any suggestions?
Island Girl Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I was merely questioning if the general population of the US thought this way or whether this was just a personal opinion. I don't think this way and no one I know has ever expressed anything along these lines when such topics are discussed. I would hope I am considered part of the general population.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 A wise woman. Live long and prosper Thanks, I plan to! And when can we expect the first posts from the little TBFs :laugh: Oh soon, soon, after we get married, so they're not created out of wedlock. The twins will have the luxury of wireless from the womb!
wuggle Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 wireless from the womb! Cr*p I'm in IT and I never thought of that :eek:
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Cr*p I'm in IT and I never thought of that :eek:The words flow nicely, don't they?
Author justxme Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Oh, I don't know those things. But I think it'll be hard for him to match mom. He is spoiled to death. Oh My! you are one of those mom's that won't let your boy grow up, and will torture and stress out any wife he has, because you want him completely dependant on YOU! Oh how could you do that to your son. and to his future wife, and to his children?
OpenBook Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Ariadne, although I don't agree with your parenting techniques, I do admire the way you have held yourself above the fray of personal insults hurled at you in this thread. You have refused to sink down to that gutter level along with them, and you have my admiration for that. Your version of "wifely duties" should include this trait. I don't know of any man who wouldn't appreciate it.
Ariadne Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Ariadne, although I don't agree with your parenting techniques, I do admire the way you have held yourself above the fray of personal insults hurled at you in this thread. You have refused to sink down to that gutter level along with them, and you have my admiration for that. Your version of "wifely duties" should include this trait. I don't know of any man who wouldn't appreciate it. Awww... thank you!
dobler33 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Ariadne, although I don't agree with your parenting techniques, I do admire the way you have held yourself above the fray of personal insults hurled at you in this thread. You have refused to sink down to that gutter level along with them, and you have my admiration for that. Your version of "wifely duties" should include this trait. I don't know of any man who wouldn't appreciate it. sorry, but even the original poster is grossed out by ariadne's "wifely duties."
Author justxme Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 IMO, an important wifely duty is to teach offspring rules and boundaries. It sounds like the OP did just fine wrt her four children. Just to bring this back to the OP Yes, it was difficult, and there are still a few things to work out, but each one can take care of their selves now, as well as take care of spouses and children if they need or want too, each has collage education some going for doctorate degrees some not, but all able to make as much as they want and my two helped/helping spouses get through college before having children. so either one of them can help each other in times of trouble or sickness as well as help the other siblings if need be, I raised mine to be independent, even independent from mommie, because I want them to feel good about theirselves, for their wives to not be stressed, especially stressed from a mother in law, and for them to be happy and to accomplish what they where created to do. I started teaching independence and responsiablility when very young, but whether they went to college or what type of work or wife or family they want I stayed out of it except to be supportive. it seemed to work well. Oh and most of the time I was a single mom, and both of my boys enjoy sports and athletic type stuff, so they have well rounded personallities Nothing perfect, but I'm proud and amazed how wonderfull they are, at least I think so.
Touche Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Oh My! you are one of those mom's that won't let your boy grow up, and will torture and stress out any wife he has, because you want him completely dependant on YOU! Oh how could you do that to your son. and to his future wife, and to his children? Actually, this tells me that you don't know Ariadne too well or haven't read many of her posts. Even though I disagree with her parenting style, she'd be like the dream MIL! So in that regard you couldn't be more off. She's of the attitude of "Que sera, sera." Very laissez-faire. I mean she has his girlfriend over for overnights with her son! That doesn't sound like a monster-in-law to me. As for the "wifely duties"...sure they were over the top but I don't completely disagree with them. Who cares if someone is "grossed out" over them. That doesn't mean that it's not a valuable concept.
Ariadne Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Actually, this tells me that you don't know Ariadne too well or haven't read many of her posts. Even though I disagree with her parenting style, she'd be like the dream MIL! So in that regard you couldn't be more off. She's of the attitude of "Que sera, sera." Very laissez-faire. I mean she has his girlfriend over for overnights with her son! That doesn't sound like a monster-in-law to me. As for the "wifely duties"...sure they were over the top but I don't completely disagree with them. Who cares if someone is "grossed out" over them. That doesn't mean that it's not a valuable concept. Thanks Touche. Actually, whenever I go out I get her special things that she likes, like white chocolate, or cheesecake, even got her speakers for her Ipod in my errands while she is here (and some things for my son too). I feel that she is someone very important for my son's happines and it makes a world of difference for him to have her, so I'm more than thankful that she is in his life. (Plus, she was only 13 when he met her, so I see her as innocence, his first love)
Ariadne Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 As for the "wifely duties"...sure they were over the top No they weren't . I want to be just like that with Denver guy. :love: (and then ten times more!)
Author justxme Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Actually, this tells me that you don't know Ariadne too well or haven't read many of her posts. Even though I disagree with her parenting style, she'd be like the dream MIL! So in that regard you couldn't be more off. She's of the attitude of "Que sera, sera." Very laissez-faire. I mean she has his girlfriend over for overnights with her son! That doesn't sound like a monster-in-law to me. As for the "wifely duties"...sure they were over the top but I don't completely disagree with them. Who cares if someone is "grossed out" over them. That doesn't mean that it's not a valuable concept. Your right I didn't read everything, having his girlfriend overnight does meet the sexual desires for her son, that is all I see about that, I don't see if it is healthy and good for both of them, she only talks about the son, the girlfriend sounds more like a delivered pizza to feed the child's undisciplined appetite. I'm finding it hard to believe that she will ever see a woman in her sons life as anything but a toybox and slave for her son, chances are the minute that woman starts expecting respect & responsibility from him, he'll go running back to mommy instead of stepping up to the plate, and/or the two of them will run the woman off, so I doubt that the possible daughter in law will feel any respect or value as a person in such a situation. but honestly I think she is a troll looking for attention, I don't think anyone would be that cruel to a son as she says
Touche Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Your right I didn't read everything, having his girlfriend overnight does meet the sexual desires for her son, that is all I see about that, I don't see if it is healthy and good for both of them, she only talks about the son, the girlfriend sounds more like a delivered pizza to feed the child's undisciplined appetite. I'm finding it hard to believe that she will ever see a woman in her sons life as anything but a toybox and slave for her son, chances are the minute that woman starts expecting respect & responsibility from him, he'll go running back to mommy instead of stepping up to the plate, and/or the two of them will run the woman off, so I doubt that the possible daughter in law will feel any respect or value as a person in such a situation. but honestly I think she is a troll looking for attention, I don't think anyone would be that cruel to a son as she says Unlike your college educated kids, you don't have much of an education do you? Well I can respond and tell you that once again I think you're wrong but I don't think you'll really get it. Plus I'm suspecting that you're a troll.
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Whoa, T, really, a troll? I certainly didn't get that from her responses to my inquiries and comments.... I hope this isn't recycled LS members revisiting old business. I quickly tire of that....
Touche Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Whoa, T, really, a troll? I certainly didn't get that from her responses to my inquiries and comments... Then we don't agree. I'm getting that from her totally baseless remarks directed towards Ariadne. Also some of the other posts by this poster are well....never mind. Not worth it.. I hope this isn't recycled LS members revisiting old business. I quickly tire of that.... Who doesn't?
HsMomma Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Just because you and your husband have this relationship does not mean every couple is like that. Why do people have such a hard time seeing what goes on outside of their little bubble?[/QUOTE] Seems to me that that's the pot calling the kettle black, Woggle. I was simply pointing out that all women are not like the ones in YOUR bubble. There are actually some of us out there who make equal partnerships work.
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