dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 So as I said, I wasn't going to email D anymore until he contacts me. I check my email, and got a reply from him. My email basically was just a reply to his last one. Basically I just asked him if he planned on getting together with me this week. I mentioned that I hadn't been feeling well (I had a cold over the weekend.) This is what I got.. You don't have the swine flu do ya? you should rest for awhile. Ask me w/e it is you wanna ask me I'm not going to bite or get mad or anything. I'd like to see you again but if your having douts plz let me know. Well if I don't talk to you have a good night. So now he's thinking that I'm having doubts about wanting to see him again? I'm utterly very very confused. I don't know what to say to this. Partially because I was thinking he wasn't as interested, and also because I'm not sure if I said something to give that vibe. I don't want to be like, oh yes D I really really want to see you. And be all super giddy. But I don't want to give off the vibe I am having doubts.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 So now he's thinking that I'm having doubts about wanting to see him again? I'm utterly very very confused. I don't know what to say to this. Partially because I was thinking he wasn't as interested, and also because I'm not sure if I said something to give that vibe. I don't want to be like, oh yes D I really really want to see you. And be all super giddy. But I don't want to give off the vibe I am having doubts. Just guessing here, but he may have thought your not feeling well comment was an out. It is a good sign that he came out and told you what he is thinking! I would just tell him that there are no doubts present... and that he should start planning something fun right away.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 What I would like to say.... No, I'm not having any doubts. I'd like to see you again too, but work with me here. Set some plans up with me. You said you had off today, I mentioned that Mondays are good for me because I get done earlier and start later tomorrow, but you said nothing. What would like to add to this, but wont .... Try picking up the damn phone, don't wait last minute, make some effort.
Art_Critic Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 This is what happens when people play games with dating rather than just being themselves.. you included... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t189169/ The games started early on with him and you both. If you want this guy then you are going to have to make an effort at this point being that the games have messed up the communication.. you could just email him that you are not having any doubts.. just schedule conflicts or getting sick and would like to set up a date.. Otherwise stick to your guns and don't contact him anymore..
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 I didn't mean like I was sick and can't make it, because there were no plans made. It was just a reply to 'how was your day'.
Lucky555 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Just tell him, If you would like to get together for dinner (or whatever you want to do) then lets make a date . (Its flirty and right to the point). Don't mention the doubts. I think you saying lets make a date is implying you do want to see him again. Keep it light and friendly. Your just dating, have fun! Him asking if you have doubts is him saying "don't stand me up"
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 What I would like to say.... No, I'm not having any doubts. I'd like to see you again too, but work with me here. Set some plans up with me. You said you had off today, I mentioned that Mondays are good for me because I get done earlier and start later tomorrow, but you said nothing. What would like to add to this, but wont .... Try picking up the damn phone, don't wait last minute, make some effort. Umm.... maybe this is just me, but I think you should say all of that. Don't be afraid to tell him... softly and tactfully that you want him to make you feel like he thinks your worth his time.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 This is what I ended up saying... No, I'm swine flu free. I'm feeling better actually. Well if you want to see me again, make it happen, set something up with me. If I'm not online, you know how to get ahold of me... I gave you my work cell and my home number. I can't do all the work
Art_Critic Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I can't do all the work You were doing great till this part.. ouch... Well.. at least you were being up front and open about how you feel.. If he doesn't call then it is his loss...
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 You were doing great till this part.. ouch... Well.. at least you were being up front and open about how you feel.. If he doesn't call then it is his loss... Yeah, I thought about that afterward. I ended with a though, so maybe he'll take that part lightly.
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I think you sounded a bit harsh, Dreamer. Thing is, I think this guy is really insecure and almost shy. While I commend you for putting your foot down and requiring some effort on his part, you can't boss him around into getting it. The right guy, the one who's worthy of you , won't need an instruction manual. I would have responded to his email like this: "Having doubts? I'm not sure what you mean. My phone hasn't rang; I can't turn down a date that I haven't been asked out on...... ;)"
Chocolat Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Don't write a long explanation or even a short one. Just say, I'd like to see you again. Give me a call. Oh wait, I just saw you sent him something. I'm with AC. Not because of the "ouch" so much as because it just bogs things down. Now he has to wonder what you mean, etc., etc. Dating shouldn't be this hard, kwim?
Trialbyfire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 dreamergrl, remember what we discussed in that last thread? If he comes to you, give him the green light. Don't get defensive with him and keep it light. "Hi, yes, I'm over my bout of swine flu so they let me out of quarantine. With this in mind, when were you thinking about getting together? ;)"
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 dreamergrl, remember what we discussed in that last thread? If he comes to you, give him the green light. Don't get defensive with him and keep it light. "Hi, yes, I'm over my bout of swine flu so they let me out of quarantine. With this in mind, when were you thinking about getting together? ;)" Dang it. Where were you earlier I didn't mean for it to be defensive. I really didn't. I suck!
Trialbyfire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Dang it. Where were you earlier I didn't mean for it to be defensive. I really didn't. I suck! Sorry, I was working out, then talking to my honey.
shinedown Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Having just read it myself, I'd read it as light hearted. I think you might just be over-thinking it a little. He'll probably get the point and see the funny side of it. If anything it shows alot of confidence, so I think you'll be fine.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Sorry, I was working out, then talking to my honey. Geeze, didn't you realize how bad I suck at this and needed help Having just read it myself, I'd read it as light hearted. I think you might just be over-thinking it a little. He'll probably get the point and see the funny side of it. If anything it shows alot of confidence, so I think you'll be fine. I hope so! We're about to find out because he just came online.
Trialbyfire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Let's see what he says. He might have taken it a different way. Keep it light.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Let's see what he says. He might have taken it a different way. Keep it light. I'm just sitting here... waiting.. he read it... we'll see if he responds. I'm like a little kid waiting for my candy.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Ugh, he's off line now. I didn't get reply. I now have this sudden urge to say I didn't mean to come across as b$tchy. That I'm not having doubts.. just would like to make some plans but it hasn't been happening.
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Ugh, he's off line now. I didn't get reply. I now have this sudden urge to say I didn't mean to come across as b$tchy. That I'm not having doubts.. just would like to make some plans but it hasn't been happening. Now, now. That would not be "light." Don't do that - you know better.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Well he's online yet again, and still nothing. Wtf. I'm so freaking confused.
boogieboy Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Dont worry dreamer, give him a day to reply, if he doesnt, CALL him, and keep it light.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Well now I'm starting to feel defensive. I mean why be like "oh please tell me if you are having doubts" then just not respond.
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