Alpha Female Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 OK guys why is Jack not more distant or avoiding spookie? If she is seen as emotionally unstable and if he is not interested then it would be natural to assume that being nice to her is "leading her on". I mean any boss in this situation would think "Right, I might have been too friendly with her, she read it wrongly, I better distance myself before she gets obssesed even more". But he is not doing that. Why? Quite simply because he doesn't want to do anything that could possibly inflame her. He doesn't need for her to go to HR and start complaining that he is treating her differently or ignoring her. He is trying to maintain a status quo for his own career protection. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 OK guys why is Jack not more distant or avoiding spookie? If she is seen as emotionally unstable and if he is not interested then it would be natural to assume that being nice to her is "leading her on". I mean any boss in this situation would think "Right, I might have been too friendly with her, she read it wrongly, I better distance myself before she gets obssesed even more". But he is not doing that. Why? Probably because he's being nice and doesn't want to hurt her feelings by withdrawing. Or, like Alpha Female said, he's covering his arse so she doesn't make up a complaint about him. I'm sorry, but he's known for this long that she has feelings for him and has not made a move. This is not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Spookie - I do believe this was her way of giving you a warning that with a restructuring, you would not be around. My thoughts exactly. However, I wouldn't say "would not be around" but there is a high probability depending on how things go. Spookie, when she asked you if you would have done it differently, which we have asked as well, it was your opportunity to prove to her that you felt it was a big mistake, and that you wouldn't do it again. If you said that, she would have felt that you had made a one-off error, and it sounds like she would have been more forgiving. But, digging in your heels with attitude and the proclamation that you would do it all again that way, was probably more condemning that the original admission. And if your response had simply been that you had moved on and would now focus on your work, then this would have meant that so would management. By appearing angry, the impression given is one of an employee who could be trouble. The writing is on the wall at this job, Spookie. Either you proactively deal with it, or reactively wait for the chips to fall. After hearing of the details of your meeting with HR lady, I would be inclined to agree. Your excuse would be that since you did not get a transfer, then you feel it is better to find a job without such a distraction. I am guessing that you will actually get a good reference. If you stay, things could go well, but the "battle" is an uphill one. Link to post Share on other sites
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