Desperate for a second chance

[Fun2BMe]

I have gone through a lot of heartache, abuse, and hurt so it was extra good to finally go out with a terrific guy. I am usually very picky but found him to be so perfect and I fell so hard for him and thought we had a really great time and hit it off.

 

After our date I sent him a text saying how much fun I had, but was disappointed that he didn't respond. Two days later I sent another text thinking maybe I had his wrong number and wanting to hear back, he responded but didn't call or pursue anything. Then a week later (few nights ago) I sent another text and he hasn't responded yet.

 

I am very confused and hurt. I can't imagine that the feelings were not mutual and am not used to this type of rude behavior and don't know what to make of it. He's the one who gave me his number and said once I text him he'll have my number too, which is what I did. Why would he have done this if he had no intentions of talking?

 

I really need a way to get him to want to see me again and don't know what to do. Should I call or text again and if so what should I do or say? We took some pictures with my camera together and look like the perfect couple. Should I text these to him? Should I send him a Valentines Day card and if so should I include our picture in it so he remembers how much fun we had? Should it be a text card or through the postal system? I am so confused!!!

 

I don't want to simply give up and walk away since it is so rare for something to feel this right. Any advice?? Should I text him a provactive picture to get his attention? I feel like I just need to see him again for him to realize we were meant to be together, so really, whatever it takes to see him again is all I need to know how to accomplish. Please help.

[openbook08]

i think he may be...just not that into you

while it may feel right to you it may not feel so to him

i think youve done your part now, its up to him

personally i wouldnt send anymore texts/card/photos

unfortunately this seems to be the way the dating game works

BUT 'its just a date' (get your hands on this book asap)

i understand that it feels wonderful to meet someone terrific after being hurt so bad but sometimes its just not meant to be

but think of all the fun youll have meeting all the other terific guys out there!!

[lonelygurl]

I have gone through a lot of heartache, abuse, and hurt so it was extra good to finally go out with a terrific guy. I am usually very picky but found him to be so perfect and I fell so hard for him and thought we had a really great time and hit it off.

 

After our date I sent him a text saying how much fun I had, but was disappointed that he didn't respond. Two days later I sent another text thinking maybe I had his wrong number and wanting to hear back, he responded but didn't call or pursue anything. Then a week later (few nights ago) I sent another text and he hasn't responded yet.

 

I am very confused and hurt. I can't imagine that the feelings were not mutual and am not used to this type of rude behavior and don't know what to make of it. He's the one who gave me his number and said once I text him he'll have my number too, which is what I did. Why would he have done this if he had no intentions of talking?

 

I really need a way to get him to want to see me again and don't know what to do. Should I call or text again and if so what should I do or say? We took some pictures with my camera together and look like the perfect couple. Should I text these to him? Should I send him a Valentines Day card and if so should I include our picture in it so he remembers how much fun we had? Should it be a text card or through the postal system? I am so confused!!!

 

I don't want to simply give up and walk away since it is so rare for something to feel this right. Any advice?? Should I text him a provactive picture to get his attention? I feel like I just need to see him again for him to realize we were meant to be together, so really, whatever it takes to see him again is all I need to know how to accomplish. Please help.

 

 

Personally, I wouldn't text or call him anymore. It is hard to know what he is thinking. But if you continue to text/call you are going to come off as being too clingy/needy and that very well may scare him. He may have had a good time, but he may not be into you as much as you were him. I would think if he was he would be responding to you the way you have to him.

 

I would let it go and see if he contacts you, and if he doesn't then you know. You know that he now knows how to get a hold of you.

 

Unfortunately, some things are not meant to be. I went on plenty of first dates where the guys constantly hounded me for more and I had to brush them off/ignore them because I wasn't interested in another date like they were.

[Touche]

You can't make someone be into you. And the more you pursue him the more you'll probably push him away. You need to stop with the texts.

 

Sending him a provocative pic after he's not responded will come off as really desperate.

 

Have you only had one date with him? What did you say in your texts?

[nature]

I don't want to simply give up and walk away since it is so rare for something to feel this right. Any advice?? Should I text him a provactive picture to get his attention? I feel like I just need to see him again for him to realize we were meant to be together, so really, whatever it takes to see him again is all I need to know how to accomplish. Please help.

 

Is this a joke? Seriously? I'm sorry to say, but get yourself together. You have already appeared too needy and desperate and scared this guy away. Get over yourself NOW. You had a date. You felt the spark and chemistry. He did not. Accept it. Face it. Come down out of the clouds and the dream world you've created in your imagination.

 

This guy is not into you. He could not make it any clearer. Texting and texting has come across as pathetic already. If you send him another text or photos, he will be getting a restraining order on you, I'm sorry to say.

 

I've gone on dates before. Had the guys texting me and phoning me non-stop thinking "we" had the most amazing connection. They felt it. I did not. So I replied politely to one or two of their msg's and then when they kept sending them, started ignoring them in hopes they would get the hint and just go away.

 

This guy is not being rude to you. You are being rude to him. Hounding him and texting him when he blatantly ignoring you now. Deal with it. Accept it. He's not into you. I know it may be hard for you to believe, but he could not make it any more clear.

 

If you send him a valentine's day card, you will really slip into the category of pathetic.

 

Move on.

[Fun2BMe]

Wow you guys are so negative. I realize he must probably not be as interested as I am considering he hasn't contacted me, but because I feel like I deserve a second chance I'm trying to figure out how to succeed in getting one. IF I just wanted to move on and accept the situation I already know how to do that but that's not what I'm looking to hear obviously.

 

 

You can't make someone be into you. And the more you pursue him the more you'll probably push him away. You need to stop with the texts.

 

Sending him a provocative pic after he's not responded will come off as really desperate.

But I admit I am desperate at this point. I feel like if I don't try anything what if he never calls or texts? How is that better than not at least trying something, anything to get his attention at this point so if someone would share their experience on my chances of this working I would be interested to hear that.

 

Have you only had one date with him? What did you say in your texts?

I spent 2 days with him and made a lot of mistakes I regret, that's why I feel like I need a chance to repair them. For example, he wanted me to go with him to Best Buy to purchase a bday gift for his friend, I said I had errands to run and left in a hurry, when he also wanted to cook a meal for me as we had not eaten yet. I had been with him since the day before and the following day he wanted to cook and I said I had errands. I thought I was spending too much time and needed to be a little unavailable and hard to get but come on it's like he took it too personally.

 

He also asked me some personal questions to get to know me, and I didn't want to be an open book so I gave him teasing answers like I can't tell him that yet and he would respond negatively and now I'm like none of that worked, I should've just been open with him and stayed considering I really did want to spend more time with him. That's why I feel like his decision is based not on the real me, and I felt we had a good connection and I really really need to see him again.

 

You ask what I texted him. The first one was a little while after I left I said I had a good time and thing of that nature, and when he didn't respond I thought maybe I don't have his correct number, so a few days later I texted himi while I was out shopping, asking him about a trip he had mentioned to his friend, thinking maybe he'd want to invite me, so I mentioned the trip, and he responded back saying where did I hear that and I said I was there when he was telling his friend about it, so we texted about that for a while, but that was it, but I found out it was his correct number and was relieved he responded and was really nice, for example I wrote something sarcastic then I said I feel stupid, and he responded Why do you feel stupid, let's discuss so you don't feel that way.

 

I thought wow he is so nice, I thought it was an obvious reason so I texted it to him, but that was it, he never texted back after that so I kind of felt like he left me hanging there. Then I texted him a few days ago saying "thinking of u" with a smiley and that's it and he hasn't responded and I am a little shocked because this has never happened to me before, and of all people it is happening with someone who I really really like a lot. I really need to find a way to see him again and as you see I've only texted him 3 times and haven't bothered him with a call so it's not like I'm suffocating him or stalking or whatever the other person said who thinks he'd need a restraining order if i contacted him again.

[Ramrod]

I really hate to tell you this but it sounds to me like he is not only "just not that into you" but he's not into you at all. Believe me, we men like to strike while the iron is hot, especially when we really like a woman or just want to take her to bed or both. I wouldn't pursue him any further. The BALL is totally in his court and if you never hear from him again it will only mean that the chemistry wasn't right or he has too many obligations, girlfriends or whatever going on. We men can fake stuff too. Sorry.

[lonelygurl]

but because I feel like I deserve a second chance

 

 

this quote right here says it all. I hate to sound rude but you are really full of yourself. You remind me of a girl my X dumped because she thought she was all that and so good and anyone would want to be with her. He also talked about another girl he had one date with that was like that...and he refused to return any of her messages either. If you actually talked like that around him he may not be into you because you think you are all that. You may feel you deserve a second chance but it is up to him and clearly he's giving you the message that you DON't deserve a second chance because he isn't replying to give you what you feel you deserve.

[ninjaturtles]

I have gone through a lot of heartache, abuse, and hurt so it was extra good to finally go out with a terrific guy. I am usually very picky but found him to be so perfect and I fell so hard for him and thought we had a really great time and hit it off.

 

After our date I sent him a text saying how much fun I had, but was disappointed that he didn't respond. Two days later I sent another text thinking maybe I had his wrong number and wanting to hear back, he responded but didn't call or pursue anything. Then a week later (few nights ago) I sent another text and he hasn't responded yet.

 

I am very confused and hurt. I can't imagine that the feelings were not mutual and am not used to this type of rude behavior and don't know what to make of it. He's the one who gave me his number and said once I text him he'll have my number too, which is what I did. Why would he have done this if he had no intentions of talking?

 

I really need a way to get him to want to see me again and don't know what to do. Should I call or text again and if so what should I do or say? We took some pictures with my camera together and look like the perfect couple. Should I text these to him? Should I send him a Valentines Day card and if so should I include our picture in it so he remembers how much fun we had? Should it be a text card or through the postal system? I am so confused!!!

 

I don't want to simply give up and walk away since it is so rare for something to feel this right. Any advice?? Should I text him a provactive picture to get his attention? I feel like I just need to see him again for him to realize we were meant to be together, so really, whatever it takes to see him again is all I need to know how to accomplish. Please help.

 

I have never been as blunt as this- here is your answer... HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. I just got back from the movies, and I advise you go and see this movie 'he is just not that into you". The scenario you describe here, is infact the same as one of those in the movie. Move on, don't call him again!!!!!!!! It doesn't mean you are not a great person. He is not just into you AT ALL. It is blatant. I'm sorry but you will find someone else!!! Please don't contact himm anymore. You can't force him to like you. Be strong...and be sure to see the movie 'he is just not that into you!!!!

[Fun2BMe]

YOu guys are so hardcore, maybe I'll get a more compassionate answer from someone. It's like if someone likes Strawberry ice cream but are accidentally served vanilla which they don't like, after which they come to the conclusion they don't like strawberry after all. I had misrepresented myself and want a second chance to show who I really am.

 

And if after that he is not interested, then I can move on, but I can't believe he wouldn't like me, especially after the connection we had in the beginning so I need to find out what to text to get his attention and get him to want to see me again!!! Please if someone knows help me out here! I'm not about to walk away from this man without trying, knowing how good we are together.... Imagine what the world would be like if everyone simply gave up!

[jerbear]

I think you should just call him tomorrow, ditch the texting.

 

Texting is good after awhile but not the first few dates.

[Ramrod]

Good grief, you are full of yourself. Lonely girl picked up on it, but then, I only read your intial post. I really can't stomach reading women's ideas about men, with what little you all do really know about us. But, you only get one chance to make a good impression and you spent it. Get over yourself and move on. Memo

[Ramrod]

Memo to you: Not every man on the planet wants to get with you. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Guys with a lot to offer have a lot of women to offer it to, so, you need to bring more toi the table then whatever it is that has you thinking your gods gift.

[ninjaturtles]

YOu guys are so hardcore, maybe I'll get a more compassionate answer from someone. It's like if someone likes Strawberry ice cream but are accidentally served vanilla which they don't like, after which they come to the conclusion they don't like strawberry after all. I had misrepresented myself and want a second chance to show who I really am.

 

And if after that he is not interested, then I can move on, but I can't believe he wouldn't like me, especially after the connection we had in the beginning so I need to find out what to text to get his attention and get him to want to see me again!!! Please if someone knows help me out here! I'm not about to walk away from this man without trying, knowing how good we are together.... Imagine what the world would be like if everyone simply gave up!

 

Please call him , okay don't text him. However be sure to let us know how it went .lol.

[Fun2BMe]

Memo to you: Not every man on the planet wants to get with you. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Guys with a lot to offer have a lot of women to offer it to, so, you need to bring more toi the table then whatever it is that has you thinking your gods gift.

 

Memo to you: I know that not every man wants to get with me. I don't know what the chip on your shoulder is about but you obviously have some serious issues. I don't know why you keep saying I'm full of myself and think I'm gods gift just because I want a second chance with someone who I think I had a chance with.

 

I obviously had brougth something to the table if he wanted to take me to Best Buy with him, and to cook for me. He was probably naturally hurt how I abruptly said I had errands to run and without explanation left. I was feeling scared at all the feelings I was feeling and bailed out, and he must've taken it hard understandably, and I want another chance to make it right and see if there is something there. Wow, that must mean I'm a really terrible person? That's your opinion, but maybe someone can help me figure out a message to text him. I don't want to call because I will get too nervous and maybe say something stupid or set myself up for rejection which I can't handle right now. I have feelings and if I felt he wasn't interested in me I wouldn't try to pursue anything.

[Fun2BMe]

Good grief, you are full of yourself. Lonely girl picked up on it, but then, I only read your intial post. I really can't stomach reading women's ideas about men, with what little you all do really know about us. But, you only get one chance to make a good impression and you spent it. Get over yourself and move on. Memo

 

You should get on with your own self. You sound very bitter, anti-woman and angry. I don't know what your problem is but don't take it out on me. It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved issues and baggage and anger issues. But I won't let your negativity weight me down, I'll figure out a way to get a second chance without your help.

[Joker77]

You should let him make the next move. You have done all you can do. If you keep trying to force it, you might drive him away. If he's interested, he will definitely let you know.

[Fun2BMe]

You should let him make the next move. You have done all you can do. If you keep trying to force it, you might drive him away. If he's interested, he will definitely let you know.

 

I just feel like that's how it should be in a normal circumstance, but he's left judging me by actions I didn't really mean which would by those standards be normal for him to not contact me, so I need help on what I could text to get a hook and have him want to see me one more time, the real me. I don't know if I able to get across what I mean, but sitting back and waiting for him is not an option. I just want someone's opinion what to text him because that's my only chance right now... I have to be pro-active and do something to get him to want to see me again.

[Star Gazer]

What makes you think you "deserve" a second date? You barely know each other. No matter how awesome you *might* be, if he's not feelin' it, he's not feelin' it. Nothing you can do will change that.

 

You had one date. One. PLEASE, save yourself the embarrassment. Stop contacting him, and whatever you do, do NOT send him a provocative picture of yourself or a Valentine's Day card.

[2sunny]

i need to know something that may give a bit of clarity... did you have sex with him?

 

where did you meet him that you would have set up a date without him ever having your number?

 

thanks, these answers may help me know a bit more about the circumstances.

 

either way, he MAY be married? heavily interested in someone else? traveling a lot?

[Fun2BMe]

i need to know something that may give a bit of clarity... did you have sex with him?

 

where did you meet him that you would have set up a date without him ever having your number?

 

thanks, these answers may help me know a bit more about the circumstances.

 

either way, he MAY be married? heavily interested in someone else? traveling a lot?

 

 

 

 

We met at a party and as conservative as I am, we just clicked so much he invited me to his house afterwards. We were up til morning talking and he told me so much about himself. He said he likes to cuddle so we fell asleep cuddling in his bed. Then when we woke up he had all these plans on mind, wanted to cook a meal for me, wanted me to go to the store with him...

 

It felt natural like we had known each other for a long time when it usually takes me a very long time to reach that level of closeness with somebody. But I started feeling insecure like I had to go home for a change of clothes, make up and all that even though he kept saying i looked fine. Then because I thought things were so great I started to get nervous and started playing games, like when he'd ask a personal question to get to know me I was teasing and saying he'd have to wait to get the answer for that, I felt like things were moving too fast.

 

So as he was figuring out what we were going to eat I said I had some errands to run. He was taken aback, and I wouldn't tell him anything more about this important 'errand.' So at the same time I felt like I was ruining things, but I think it was fear of getting so close so fast considering all the issues i"ve had in the past with men. So instead of asking for my number, he gave me his number and said when I text him he'd get my number.

 

Later that day I texted him that I had a really good time and it was fun and he didn't reply. I was already getting scared that maybe I blew it. So that's how the situation unfolded. If I didn't feel that we both had a strong connection I wouldn't pursue it. I feel like I did things to make him think I didn't want to be around him and maybe he has a lot of pride or got hurt and is avoiding me, so I really need another chance and then if he's still not interested then I can move on, but I feel like it was potentially a really good relationship that I blew due to my insecurities.

[Dumbledore]

Perfect opportunity coming right up - send him a Valentine's Day card. And some chocolates, of course.

[norajane]

You spent 2 days with him on your first date? And you wouldn't open up to him when he wanted to know you better, and so you played games?

 

And then you just ran off abruptly at some point the next day?

 

so I need help on what I could text to get a hook and have him want to see me one more time, the real me.

Are you sure you are capable of being the real you? Do you know who the real you is?

 

If you do know who the real you is, call him up and invite him to do xyz...whatever the real you would want to do. There's really no other way to get him to go out with you - either he will say yes to your invitation or he won't.

 

Or is the real you a schemer and game player, so something simple like calling him and asking him out on a date just doesn't sound right to you? Has it occurred to you he might truly have seen the REAL you on your date, and you are the one who doesn't see the real you?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Fun, the only thing that really strikes me is the 'desperate' part. You want him to like you, and you want him to have a good impression of you, or at the very least leave having a good impression. In fact you are desperate and climbing the walls in order to make that happen.

 

Have you talked to someone about what drives that desperation to be liked and accepted? I suspect you have some BPD issues, and while there is no cure for it there are coping mechanisms that might help.

[Touche]

It's like they say about never getting a chance to make make a first impression...

 

It sounds like he was completely open with you but you couldn't be with him. I would have just told him that I wanted to run home and shower and change and then I'd meet him at Best Buy and we could hang out.

 

In your first post you say:

 

I can't imagine that the feelings were not mutual

 

Why not? It happens. I think that's why people are saying you might be full of yourself. Like there's no way he can ever really not be interested.

 

You say he never really saw the real you but what you did in playing games and not being honest WAS the real you. I mean it wastn't someone else.

 

I don't really recommend this but it's like some of the others said, the only way you're going to really know if he's interested is if you straight out ask him out.

 

Personally I think he's already told you he's not interested in his own way...not responding. Not even asking you for his number but wanting you to text him first.

 

You asked why he'd want to cook a meal for you and take you to Best Buy...I think as an easy and effortless way of getting you into bed. (Did you really not have sex with him on that first night? Hmmmm...)

 

That way, he could have had sex with you without even having to ask you out and set anything up. You'd just be right there.

 

He doesn't sound like much of a catch to me. I mean the guy couldn't even make the effort to write your number down or punch it into his phone! Sheesh.

 

Some men are like that. They don't feel the need to put in any effort at all.

 

You should really stop wasting so much energy on him.

 

And you know what? If he were THAT interested in you, it wouldn't have mattered that you left to run errands. If he wanted to see you that badly, why didn't he ask whether he could see you later that day or made plans for another time?

 

Not ONE thing about his actions tells me he's truly interested.

 

But go ahead call him. Because if you just text him again, he can easily ignore you. Why that's not an answer enough for you is beyond me though.