Update

[Touche]

Maybe it was for her amusement...sit back and watch the fallout?

 

I don't get all the "sky is falling" remarks. She'll be transferred and that will be that.

 

As for the boss spreading the news, well I wouldn't think it would be in his interest to do that.

 

Anyway, only time will tell what the consequences (if any) will be.

[Alpha Female]

Would it still be considered a no-no for her boss to date her once she's transferred to another department?

 

From his response he's obviously very professional. Even if he likes her, I'm concerned that he won't pursue her even when she's transferred for this reason.

 

If she hadn't of made it an issue and reason for her transfer, perhaps he would have pursued it, provided he was interested in her to begin with. It would depend on her company's individual policy on workplace dating. But, now that everyone knows the reason she needs to change departments is because of impulse control, then I couldn't imagine anyone touching this situation with a 10-foot pole.

 

You are right Shadowplay, he is very professional, and clearly wanted to follow protocol.

 

One thing for Spookie to consider as a possible outcome is that if her company will tell her there are no appropriate transfer opportunities, and they may give her a package to get her out. Now that she has let the company know she is not able to do her job where she is, they have every legal ground to fire her.

 

If it were me, I would bring her in, offer her a few months severance, have her sign over all legal rights to any future action, and boot her out the door. Of course, that would be to expedite her departure. Certainly since she has told everyone she is not able to work with him, then they do have a right to fire her outright.

[AlektraClementine]

Yes, he did. Read her threads.

 

no need, you just answered my question. I suppose then we all just wait and see if he asks her out Post Transfer. Ball's in his court now, right?

[Trialbyfire]

Clearly you see that Spookie may have put herself at professional risk by this request for transfer. Alpha, you in particular seem to have some insider information regarding the HR process. So...one question....

 

 

Why the ****didn't you say anything before this? Why didn't you use this information to inform Spookie about the risks involved? Now you're just going to scare her, because what's done is done.

 

Not fair.

To be fair to everyone, spookie doesn't listen to anyone, unless it's what she wants to do, which is her right. It's also not everyone's responsibility to express their opinions, especially when knowing it's futile to do so.

[Alpha Female]

Clearly you see that Spookie may have put herself at professional risk by this request for transfer. Alpha, you in particular seem to have some insider information regarding the HR process. So...one question....

 

 

Why the ****didn't you say anything before this? Why didn't you use this information to inform Spookie about the risks involved? Now you're just going to scare her, because what's done is done.

 

Not fair.

 

Yes I understand that. I hadn't read this thread until today. Of course had I have earlier, I would have informed the girl of the dangers of her actions of unburdening herself. My comments now aren't to scare her or out of malice - just to let her know what could be coming down the pike. Of course, her company may behave differently about these things than others, but judging by the response of Jack and his boss, I tend to think not.

[Touche]

"Boot her out the door?":rolleyes: Lovely. He said himself what a great employee she is. That would be one stupid company to let a good employee go over basically nothing.

 

I don't see that she would be considered emotionally unstable either.

 

I mean really. Look at the stats about couples who meet at work. It happens all the time.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Seriously! My guy is from work. My old roommate married his co-worker. It happens all the time! I know that it's not the same, because he's her boss. I just think this is all much ado about nothing. Bid deal! A crush. Whoop-de-doo. Now she's a harrasser! She's going to sue! Let's fire her! No one touch her with a 10 foot pole!

 

I just feel bad for Spookie if this ends up biting her in the arse.

[Alpha Female]

"Boot her out the door?":rolleyes: Lovely. He said himself what a great employee she is. That would be one stupid company to let a good employee go over basically nothing.

 

I don't see that she would be considered emotionally unstable either.

 

I mean really. Look at the stats about couples who meet at work. It happens all the time.

 

Perhaps she was a great employee, until she told her boss she emotionally couldn't handle working for him anymore. That makes her greatly emotionally unstable, in the eyes of management. There is an expectation of professionalism in an office, and this presupposes that staff don't have meltdowns or cant perform their job because of a "crush".

 

This isn't a story about a couple who met at work. Its about a young woman who fell apart on the job because she could no longer work for a male boss whom she had unrequited feelings for. This wasn't a mutual situation that fell within corporate directive guidelines.

[Touche]

Well said Cherry. I agree. I hope it ends well for her.

 

Perhaps it's ok to date someone who isn't directly under you and that's why he was so quick to have her transferred..so he can make his move! And by him giving the reason no one can think anything was going on while he was her boss...(if they do eventually start dating in the future.)

[Alpha Female]

Seriously! My guy is from work. My old roommate married his co-worker. It happens all the time! I know that it's not the same, because he's her boss. I just think this is all much ado about nothing. Bid deal! A crush. Whoop-de-doo. Now she's a harrasser! She's going to sue! Let's fire her! No one touch her with a 10 foot pole!

 

I just feel bad for Spookie if this ends up biting her in the arse.

 

But as I just wrote, from an HR perspective, this isnt hearing about Bill and Jane, coworkers in accounting. This is about a young woman who told her boss she could no longer emotionally handle doing her job, all because of a one-sided crush. It very much is a big deal, as HR would be greatly deficient in keeping someone who is such a risk. Who's to say this won't happen in the next department she transfers to? That she won't do this again with someone else?

[Touche]

Perhaps she was a great employee, until she told her boss she emotionally couldn't handle working for him anymore. That makes her greatly emotionally unstable, in the eyes of management. There is an expectation of professionalism in an office, and this presupposes that staff don't have meltdowns or cant perform their job because of a "crush".

 

This isn't a story about a couple who met at work. Its about a young woman who fell apart on the job because she could no longer work for a male boss whom she had unrequited feelings for. This wasn't a mutual situation that fell within corporate directive guidelines.

 

"Fell apart on the job?" Whaaaa? Where did you read that?

 

"corporate directive guidelines" Ugh. HR directors..gotta love 'em!

[Alpha Female]

"Fell apart on the job?" Whaaaa? Where did you read that?

 

"corporate directive guidelines" Ugh. HR directors..gotta love 'em!

 

Telling your boss that you are too stressed to work for him anymore and that you need a transfer because of your crush constitutes "falling apart on the job."

 

There is no need to attack me Touche. I am just giving the HR opinion of how this could be viewed.

[MindoverMatter]

I don't know if he will make a move, if he is interested, or if he isn't. What spookie said about him in all of her threads suggests that both outcomes are possible.

 

How HR and management react to this depends very much on how he reported the incident and how it was written down. If he said that she raised her concerns about working professionally becaused she noticed that she was starting to have feelings for her boss, then they most likely will observe her behaviour a little more closely over the next weeks and months and eventually will let it drop. Because speaking up before things escalate, is a good thing and a sign of professionalism.

 

If he reported it as some case of severe crush that made working impossible - different story.

 

But we don't know what he said, so we can only guess, and maybe, just maybe, everybody should calm down a bit. All the "the end is nigh" sayers: take a deep breath. All the "he will propose tomorrow morning!" sayers: take a deep breath. Spookie is very dramaphil and certainly doesn't need any outside help to creat some. I am very glad that she managed to go about it in the way she did. In a calm, grown-up way.

 

Thumbs up!

[Trialbyfire]

The difference is, that crushes happen on a regular basis in offices. Most don't require departmental transfers. Most often, people address their crushes on their own.

[Touche]

Telling your boss that you are too stressed to work for him anymore and that you need a transfer because of your crush constitutes "falling apart on the job."

 

There is no need to attack me Touche. I am just giving the HR opinion of how this could be viewed.

 

I wasn't attacking. I just said you gotta love HR directors!

 

Anyway, I don't see that she fell apart so I guess we'll have to agree to disagree and see what the outcome is.

 

I agree about the departmental transfer thing but Spook did request it. People request transfers for various reasons all the time.

 

Oh well...I do wish the outcome is a good one for Spook no matter how this goes.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

If he is interested in her, and it is a possibility, he would be able to go ahead with it if she's in a new department, right?

[Isolde]

People are not robots, even at work. Sure, work and pleasure are two different things. For example, you shouldn't take personal phone calls at work or spending hours chatting with coworkers instead of working. But work is a NATURAL place to meet people. Should we give Spookie a scarlet letter or what?!!

 

I agree it may have been better for Spookie to look for a new job instead, but I guess that wasn't possible.

[Touche]

If he is interested in her, and it is a possibility, he would be able to go ahead with it if she's in a new department, right?

 

It depends on the company's policy about such things...not that most people pay attention to such things.

 

In this case we don't know. I'm just guessing that maybe that's why he acted so fast..so he can date her and not risk his job.

 

It's anyone's guess really.

[Trialbyfire]

In one department, in less than a month, spookie has hooked up with a MM, her only friend in the department, causing the cessation of his marriage. Now we have this situation with her boss.

 

How this plays out will be a learning experience, either way. If spookie manages to get away with all this drama in the office, getting her man, she will continue down this path of self-destruction. If it all blows up, will she learn anything from it? I hope that no matter what happens, spookie learns something worthwhile. Why do I doubt it?

[Touche]

:eek:I didn't realize the MM was also from her dept.

 

Yikes! Spook, did anyone know about that? Do you think your boss knew? This might change what I think now.

[spookie]

In one department, in less than a month, spookie has hooked up with a MM, her only friend in the department, causing the cessation of his marriage. Now we have this situation with her boss.

 

How this plays out will be a learning experience, either way. If spookie manages to get away with all this drama in the office, getting her man, she will continue down this path of self-destruction. If it all blows up, will she learn anything from it? I hope that no matter what happens, spookie learns something worthwhile. Why do I doubt it?

 

That guy was not in my department, there was only one half-assed incident, and I doubt very much it had anything to do with his divorce.

[Trialbyfire]

That guy was not in my department, there was only one half-assed incident, and I doubt very much it had anything to do with his divorce.

Okay, but as per your post, you work with him.

 

Sorry, if that's not true, it's not what you've stated in previous threads. If you'd like me to dig that up, I can.

[Touche]

That guy was not in my department, there was only one half-assed incident, and I doubt very much it had anything to do with his divorce.

 

Phew, ok. Did anyone, including your boss, know about that?

[imani]

In one department, in less than a month, spookie has hooked up with a MM, her only friend in the department, causing the cessation of his marriage. Now we have this situation with her boss.

 

How this plays out will be a learning experience, either way. If spookie manages to get away with all this drama in the office, getting her man, she will continue down this path of self-destruction. If it all blows up, will she learn anything from it? I hope that no matter what happens, spookie learns something worthwhile. Why do I doubt it?

 

 

If anything, the issue with the other coworker MM could be a reason for him not to persue her even after the transfer. We all know how fast office gossip travels.

 

Alpha Female does have a valid point. Sometimes these situations do go down in the way Alpha has commented on.

 

My impression is that the boss guy may like Spookie enough NOT to persue her while she works there. He may already have heard people gossiping about her and wouldn't want to add to the grapevine.

 

Spookie - You actually DO want the transfer, right? Meaning it would be a good career move and only just to get away from Mr. Hotness?

[Trialbyfire]

He left his wife for me.

 

I knew I should have been worried when the buzzer rang the second time on Friday. We were lying in bed in our underwear cuddling after having just done it (for the very first time). Both our minds were hazy with the hugeness of what had just happened. He'd cheated on his wife. I had had sex with a married guy (and not just a married guy but my next-door neighbor coworker), whose wife I knew and had pretended was my friend, for what? The drama, or the sex?

 

When the buzzer rang the second time, I knew it was her. "****," I said as I crawled around the room looking for my clothes. "You're screwed, R."

 

I grabbed my bong and was just heading toward the back door, car keys in hand, when I heard a knock coming from the back window.

 

She was in the window. My eyes locked with hers. I imagined her running in screaming whore as she headed over to bash in my face. I didn't think I could take her. I lit up the bong and took a hit. "R, your wife's at the door!" I yelled. Then I locked myself in the bathroom.

 

She didn't make a scene; they just went home. That night, he told her he had cheated on her, and that he wanted a divorce. The next day, she moved out. He wanted to spend the night with me but I made him go home. He's going to have to learn to sleep alone.

 

So now I'm officially a homewrecker, and sooner or later, I'm going to have to tackle the issue of whether or not I want to be with him. Right now, I'm not really sure; but I'm pretty sure he thinks he's in love with me.

It appears to me that this post is pretty definitive.