Bells Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ...but is NOT a bartender or server..... Gentlemen, ever attempt to approach a cute girl that worked at a jewelry store, a furniture store, a bank teller even? Typically, during the day, it's slow..so sometimes they are mostly standing around not doing much or just busy work. Ever approach some ladies in a mall or some store clerk.
bean1 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I used to work in a mall around age 17-21. I hated being approached by men at work. First, a lot of them were weirdos (it was usually during the day, they didn't work, possible mental health issues etc...) and they would become a bit stalkerish (one guy followed my coworker home on the bus). For the normal/average guys who would approach, it was also annoying because it is unprofessional to flirt at work, and guys who wouldn't take no for an answer were persistent and it is bothersome when they know where you will be all the time. Even when being "rejected", you still have to be professional and polite which can sometimes give the wrong impression (ie, "hard to get"). Just my 2 cents about it. I'm sure plenty of people have dated customers. Not professional in my books. Especially at a bank, lol.
djdiablo Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Simple. Put in a subtle compliment and smile. Be confident. Ask her opinion on something. Get a rapport going. Joke for example that you would beat up a difficult customer. Do it a few times. Since it is a bank, use that branch often. If she responds, smiles back, making small conversation, put in something casual like M: "Me and my friends are going to X tonight, do you like that place?" G: "Yeah!" M: "Excellent. You should join us. Give me your number and I'll text you." OR M: "Me and my friends are going to X tonight, do you like that place?" G: "No!" M: "You must have not tried their ____. You should hear DJ____. You should join us. Give me your number and I'll text you." OR, if you are into hobby Y, talk to her about it, describe how much fun you have doing it and ask if she has ever tried it. She has not tried it? She should... with you! I personally do it with squash and, even though I am not amazing, I can teach girls that and make it fun. 2 keys: patience and confidence. For further approaches check out seduction forums. The approach above is really loose. You don't need to use lines or games that they push but there is some good practical advice.
alphamale Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 trying to get dates by approaching females at random out in public is usually futile. if you're really good looking and slick you could probably pull it off on occasion. most people meet thru family or friends or school
Adamagnet Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 trying to get dates by approaching females at random out in public is usually futile. if you're really good looking and slick you could probably pull it off on occasion. Are you excluding local haunts, stores, and service providers that are regularly attended by means of the "at random" clause modifier? The more often you see and chat with an individual the greater likelihood of a positive social interaction...
Author Bells Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I used to work in a mall around age 17-21. I hated being approached by men at work. First, a lot of them were weirdos (it was usually during the day, they didn't work, possible mental health issues etc...) and they would become a bit stalkerish (one guy followed my coworker home on the bus). For the normal/average guys who would approach, it was also annoying because it is unprofessional to flirt at work, and guys who wouldn't take no for an answer were persistent and it is bothersome when they know where you will be all the time. Even when being "rejected", you still have to be professional and polite which can sometimes give the wrong impression (ie, "hard to get"). Just my 2 cents about it. I'm sure plenty of people have dated customers. Not professional in my books. Especially at a bank, lol. Phssshhh.."Professional" for cryin outloud its a mall job LOL!!
bean1 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Being professional doesn't have anything to do with where you work, it's about how you conduct yourself in the workplace. If you want to ask out the girl at the Orange Julius in the food court, go ahead, just make sure she's over 18!
alphamale Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Are you excluding local haunts, stores, and service providers that are regularly attended by means of the "at random" clause modifier?... yes, pretty much
Surfer Dude Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 trying to get dates by approaching females at random out in public is usually futile. if you're really good looking and slick you could probably pull it off on occasion. most people meet thru family or friends or school Funny you should say that, considering your nickname. An alpha male would always approach in public, because he doesn't care about being judged by society and beta males, he goes for what he wants. If a guy acts confident, relaxed and can lower her shield by making her relaxed too, it can work pretty nice. Instead, most guys approach a woman, ask something stupid or irrelevant, freak her out and talk like hyperactive chipmunks. No wonder it's so difficult for them to yield the results.
iceGirlx Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 most people meet thru family or friends or school
allina Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 It's not worth it and will likely just make the woman feel uncomfortable. When working retail you feel like you're on display as is, the last thing you want is some weird guy trying to pick you up, when you're stuck in some sh*tty store and have to be polite and smile because you're working.
alphamale Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Funny you should say that, considering your nickname. most "alphamales" know that the majority of women want to meet a potential date once or twice before he asks her out... i don't know of many couples that met at random on the sidewalk or in a bookstore
Surfer Dude Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 most "alphamales" know that the majority of women want to meet a potential date once or twice before he asks her out... i don't know of many couples that met at random on the sidewalk or in a bookstore Women don't really care about the amount of time. The real measure of progress is the level of attraction, not time that passed. You could create attraction within 10 minutes or you could take 5 years. Unless you approach in a stalkerish, weird way, any woman would be delighted to meet a cool guy. Do you see it as a nuisance when a cool woman starts talking to you in the street or train station? It's just important to defuse the situation, make her feel relaxed and let her know you're not a freak. Which is all perfectly possible. People always complain how their options are limited and that they have no place to meet a potential partner, but in reality it's everywhere. Bookstores, coffee shops, malls, train stations etc... Besides, your options are much broader when you're making a pickup in public, you can practically choose anything you want. If you limit yourself to a workplace or bars, it's a pretty sad, limited world.
Author Bells Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 It's not worth it and will likely just make the woman feel uncomfortable. When working retail you feel like you're on display as is, the last thing you want is some weird guy trying to pick you up, when you're stuck in some sh*tty store and have to be polite and smile because you're working. That's why you don't ask her out right away, you become a regular so she can become more familiar with you.
alphamale Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 People always complain how their options are limited and that they have no place to meet a potential partner, but in reality it's everywhere. Bookstores, coffee shops, malls, train stations etc... women in bookstores are busy looking for books, women in coffee shops are busy on their laptops or studying, women in mall are busy shopping and women in train stations are busy taking trains... i.e. - none of them are in a relaxed "i want to meet a man" frame of mind
Author Bells Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 Women don't really care about the amount of time. The real measure of progress is the level of attraction, not time that passed. You could create attraction within 10 minutes or you could take 5 years. Unless you approach in a stalkerish, weird way, any woman would be delighted to meet a cool guy. Do you see it as a nuisance when a cool woman starts talking to you in the street or train station? It's just important to defuse the situation, make her feel relaxed and let her know you're not a freak. Which is all perfectly possible. People always complain how their options are limited and that they have no place to meet a potential partner, but in reality it's everywhere. Bookstores, coffee shops, malls, train stations etc... Besides, your options are much broader when you're making a pickup in public, you can practically choose anything you want. If you limit yourself to a workplace or bars, it's a pretty sad, limited world. True, but sadly women have shot themselves in the foot by claiming to approached in such venues as a public place, as wierd or creepy.
Isolde Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 women in bookstores are busy looking for books, women in coffee shops are busy on their laptops or studying, women in mall are busy shopping and women in train stations are busy taking trains... i.e. - none of them are in a relaxed "i want to meet a man" frame of mind I'd love to be approached in any of these places, except perhaps a train station, alpha.
alphamale Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I'd love to be approached in any of these places, except perhaps a train station, alpha. then make eyes and smile at the potential prospect(s)
Author Bells Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 women in bookstores are busy looking for books, women in coffee shops are busy on their laptops or studying, women in mall are busy shopping and women in train stations are busy taking trains... i.e. - none of them are in a relaxed "i want to meet a man" frame of mind SPOT ON Alpha - "Women are at gyms to work out." Women are at the store to shop, not to talk or flirt Women won't date the guy in the same apt complex, because he lives in the same apt complex. I got a better one for ya.....I have a female friend that introduced me to her other female friend, apparently we were out in a group of friends environment hanging out. I tried to make small talk with her female friend, then asked if she was single, and she turned into an ice queen (guess she figured I was hittin on her) I talked to my female friend and she says, "Well, she doesn't like to be hit on in an environment where there's just a simple group of 'friends' hangin out, that she gets annoyed when she's hangin' out in a 'Friendly' group outing, and some annoying man is trying to hit on her. So, yes, it's a frame of mind...however, like I said, women shooting themselves in their own foot. Sounds like in reality the only place women WANT to get hit on is in bars and nightclubs.
alphamale Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Sounds like in reality the only place women WANT to get hit on is in bars and nightclubs. no, women want to meet men when they are relaxed and in the mood to meet men and when they feel & look good and aren't busy with other stuff....any man who is good with meeting women knows this simple fact. when it comes to women its all about feelings, emotions and mood
Author Bells Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 no, women want to meet men when they are relaxed and in the mood to meet men and when they feel & look good and aren't busy with other stuff....any man who is good with meeting women knows this simple fact. when it comes to women its all about feelings, emotions and mood Well, just because they know this, does not mean they are actually good with meeeting women. I know it, but women are the ones with this silly hang-up.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 True, but sadly women have shot themselves in the foot by claiming to approached in such venues as a public place, as wierd or creepy. If you are hot or cool, then it is not creepy. So what are you? Hot, cool, or creepy? Huh?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Well, just because they know this, does not mean they are actually good with meeeting women. I know it, but women are the ones with this silly hang-up. It's always the women with the problems in Bells' world!
Surfer Dude Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 It seems to me like some guys here have pretty pessimistic outlooks on the world and try to rationalize reasons not to approach women. Of course, you don't have to approach in public. Those women are reserved for guys who don't care what others think about them and who will take what they want. If you actually gave it a try, you'd see that 90% of women would actually be nice and feel delighted to talk to someone cool and wouldn't object at all. As for the small minority who turn to ice queens, hey it doesn't matter. You can't control people's responses but you can always make sure you create a good looking offer and opportunity for her. This doesn't mean you should be running after women on sidewalks and parking lots, because that's something no one wants. Just saying, if you create an opportunity for a woman to talk to you, she will only thank you for it!
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