I Snooped in his phone and found out he's reminiscing and INTERESTED in his EX!!!

[audrey_1]

What part of him cheating on her twice and the fact that they worked through it the first time, and he did it again, don't you understand?

 

Once again, you're making the OP responsible for his cheating. That's really disturbing. I'm not certain you did learn anything from your own cheating situation. I also think that if you were cheated on, then cheated on someone else, there were some serious issues you didn't address. I find it unfathomable that someone who's been cheated on, could ever cheat on anyone else. There's a strong element of poor coping skills involved.

 

Darn tootin'. The cheating slime is the one who should be looking in the mirror, wondering why his self-esteem is so low, or his self-confidence so shaken that he can't be straight with his "women." Baiting one, stringing along another.

 

Yes, his problem. And it would happen regardless of who the women are in his life.

[You'reasian]

What part of him cheating on her twice and the fact that they worked through it the first time, and he did it again, don't you understand?.

 

There's always two sides to a story. We don't know exactly what happened between the two?

 

Once again, you're making the OP responsible for his cheating. .

 

We have no idea what lead up to this man's cheating.

 

I also think that if you were cheated on, then cheated on someone else, .

 

Those are two completely unrelated events in regards to my situation, which you are certainly unaware of. As far as the OP, we don't know?

 

I find it unfathomable that someone who's been cheated on, could ever cheat on anyone else. There's a strong element of poor coping skills involved.

 

I agree.

[Trialbyfire]

Darn tootin'. The cheating slime is the one who should be looking in the mirror, wondering why his self-esteem is so low, or his self-confidence so shaken that he can't be straight with his "women." Baiting one, stringing along another.

 

Yes, his problem. And it would happen regardless of who the women are in his life.

Pretty much it, in a nutshell. I stand by my opinion that there are people who will cheat and those who won't. No one makes anyone lie and cheat.

[You'reasian]

Pretty much it, in a nutshell. I stand by my opinion that there are people who will cheat and those who won't. No one makes anyone lie and cheat.

 

Emotional stress from one spouse can make the other more likely to cheat.

 

It happens more often than we'd like to admit. Cheating is probably one of the top reasons that people get divorced.

 

Women cheat for the same reasons men do.

 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/67700/women_who_cheat_infidelity_leading.html

[audrey_1]

Emotional stress from one spouse can make the other more likely to cheat.

 

It happens more often than we'd like to admit. Cheating is probably one of the top reasons that people get divorced.

 

Women cheat for the same reasons men do.

 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/67700/women_who_cheat_infidelity_leading.html

 

 

Many people who have different stressors still opt to be truthful and not cheat on their SO.

 

And BEFORE they cheat, they should summon the courage to talk about what ails them before they actually DO IT. Otherwise, it's selfish, rotten behavior that makes the object of their deception feel lousy. Everyone needs to start sharing their needs and wants more, and cheating less.

[You'reasian]

Many people who have different stressors still opt to be truthful and not cheat on their SO. .

 

Can you find me this woman please?!

 

And BEFORE they cheat, they should summon the courage to talk about what ails them before they actually DO IT. Otherwise, it's selfish, rotten behavior that makes the object of their deception feel lousy. Everyone needs to start sharing their stories: needs and wants more, and cheating less.

 

I agree!

[BubblyPopcorn]

OP no matter how you look at it, your bf is emotionally cheating. He is acting on feelings and emotions towards someone else while still in a relationship with you and lying to you in the process, going behind your back to spend time with her, etc.

 

I was in a similar situation a while back, a guy who I have known for several years and is a close friend of the family, admitted to having a crush on me and he had a gf of two years who he was on the outs with. I was attracted to him but I was very adamant with him that he needed to work things out with his GF and under no circumstances could we be in contact with each other. He was very respectful of that and towards his GF, he did not contact me further and I didn’t hear from him until a few months later, he left the relationship, took time for himself to mend from it but at that point I was already dating someone else so nothing came of it.

 

From what you posted, your bf is not being respectful of you AT ALL based on his behavior and actions. If he wants to be with his ex, then why is he still with you? I know things like this happen in life but why would you want to be with someone who is not committed to you whole-heartedly? That's really the question you need to ask yourself.

[You'reasian]

I know things like this happen in life but why would you want to be with someone who is not committed to you whole-heartedly? That's really the question you need to ask yourself.

 

I think some women want to keep things light and non-committed?

 

Probably not the case with the OP, but its never a black and white issue.

[audrey_1]

I think some women want to keep things light and non-committed?

 

Probably not the case with the OP, but its never a black and white issue.

 

My situation that just ended was HIM definitely wanting the light, non-commitment. But I don't know if this was the case because he just wasn't that in to me, or if it was just where he is right now in his life, and it wouldn't have made a difference who the woman was.

[You'reasian]

My situation that just ended was HIM definitely wanting the light, non-commitment. But I don't know if this was the case because he just wasn't that in to me, or if it was just where he is right now in his life, and it wouldn't have made a difference who the woman was.

 

That's too bad. The dark hair and large, olive eyes are probably an eye catcher.

[Kay022]

Thank you all for the responses. I've been being distant with him the past few days since I posted so I could get my thoughts together, take in all the wonderful advice, and figure out exactly what I was going to do.

 

I'm so ready to break things off for good. He not serious about our relationship. 7 year JOKE. I can't believe he's doing this to me again! I just want to confront him, tell him I know what's going on with his ex, and leave him wondering the details of how I know (not tell him I snooped).

Well my prediction was right.... He just sent me a TEXT saying - Make plans for tonight, I won't be getting home until late

 

I called him after he sent that, but of course he didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't. ... A TEXT. What a wimp. UGH I wish he would have called to say this, I would have confronted him then. Would have been perfect!! But how do I confront him now?? I guarantee he's not going to pick up his phone any time soon. What do I respond/do/say?!

[Geishawhelk]

Make plans, go out, STAY OUT, enjoy yourself, and tell him you had such a great time without him, you think you'll carry on that way!!

[BubblyPopcorn]

I think some women want to keep things light and non-committed?

 

Probably not the case with the OP, but its never a black and white issue.

 

No it's never a B&W issue but in the OP's case, she's been with this man for several years and he has a repeated history of wandering outside the RL and a repeated history of lying to cover it up.

 

That seems pretty B&W, perhaps he's just not the type of person who is capable of long-term the big "c" word.

 

I say the OP needs to walky walky and forget about the talky talky, but of course, that is easier said then done for most people especially when you have that long of an investment with someone.

 

Ick!

[kimflute26]

Man he's an *******! If I were you I'd send him a text back saying, "We're OVER, I know you're with your ex. Bye." and then forget about him. Look at it this way, if he's being cold to YOU by sending a stupid text and not responding, do the same thing to him.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Why confront him at all? You know he is messing with his ex. He knows he is messing with his ex.

 

The best way to let him know that you know, is to simply send him flying out on his ass without a word, and refuse any further contact. Trust me, he'll know why.

[You'reasian]

Thank you all for the responses. I've been being distant with him the past few days since I posted so I could get my thoughts together, take in all the wonderful advice, and figure out exactly what I was going to do.

 

I'm so ready to break things off for good. He not serious about our relationship. 7 year JOKE. I can't believe he's doing this to me again! I just want to confront him, tell him I know what's going on with his ex, and leave him wondering the details of how I know (not tell him I snooped).

 

Well my prediction was right.... He just sent me a TEXT saying - Make plans for tonight, I won't be getting home until late

 

I called him after he sent that, but of course he didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't. ... A TEXT. What a wimp. UGH I wish he would have called to say this, I would have confronted him then. Would have been perfect!! But how do I confront him now?? I guarantee he's not going to pick up his phone any time soon. What do I respond/do/say?!

 

Yeah a 7 year relationship shouldn't be like this, at all.

[Angel1111]

Thank you all for the responses. I've been being distant with him the past few days since I posted so I could get my thoughts together, take in all the wonderful advice, and figure out exactly what I was going to do.

 

I'm so ready to break things off for good. He not serious about our relationship. 7 year JOKE. I can't believe he's doing this to me again! I just want to confront him, tell him I know what's going on with his ex, and leave him wondering the details of how I know (not tell him I snooped).

 

Well my prediction was right.... He just sent me a TEXT saying - Make plans for tonight, I won't be getting home until late

 

I called him after he sent that, but of course he didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't. ... A TEXT. What a wimp. UGH I wish he would have called to say this, I would have confronted him then. Would have been perfect!! But how do I confront him now?? I guarantee he's not going to pick up his phone any time soon. What do I respond/do/say?!

 

I'd send him a text that said, "I don't want to be with you anymore. Happy new year."

 

This is total nonsense with how he's treating you. He doesn't even have the decency to sit down and tell you that he wants out. What a complete loser.

[norajane]

]Well my prediction was right.... He just sent me a TEXT saying - Make plans for tonight' date=' I won't be getting home until late [/b']

 

I called him after he sent that, but of course he didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't. ... A TEXT. What a wimp. UGH I wish he would have called to say this, I would have confronted him then. Would have been perfect!! But how do I confront him now?? I guarantee he's not going to pick up his phone any time soon. What do I respond/do/say?!

 

How are you doing, Kay? I hope you went out with your friends and welcomed the new year. And I hope you were able to see it as a fresh start without loser, cheating bf's in the picture to drag you down.

 

You don't need to do anything at this point. Just cut off all contact with him.

 

Or perhaps you already have?

 

I know this is hard for you right now, and I'm sorry for that. But soon you will be able to see that you are now free of a dead-end relationship with a dead-end serial cheater who was never going to be the guy of your dreams and treat you the way you deserve anyway.

 

It will get better for you, once the initial pain eases.