Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Not on welfare anymore. He paid most of the welfare payments back, after a fight. I went to an attorney with our 1st son to get security, he spent so much money on his and my attorney and nothing got accomplished because neither of us would listen to our attorneys and stay away from each other. So, we ended up staying together, me accepting he would do for his son (and i ended up pregnant again during this time) on his own...to trust him...he would make sure they were taken care of . So, i just called same attorney he paid between 40 to 50K to last time and he took my call right away. I was just lucky he was in his office he was about to leave in the next hour. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 L&B, I am seriously questioning your story. You went from wanting to contact an attorney at 9am on Christmas Eve, to having contacted an attorney 20 minutes later who is going to in turn contact their attorney. And within those 20 minutes you're able to do that, chat on the boards, take care of a 2 year old, and deal with your final days of a complicated pregnancy? I've had attorney's on retainer who couldn't get two pages photocopied without a 24 hour advance notice. And you, a woman on welfare, can get an attorney jumping on your case on a major holiday with a 20 minute telephone introduction and chat? Good point, almost all of the professionals I know are already out of the office today. My company is closing for the holiday in 7 minutes. Hope you all have a good holiday. Talk to you next year! Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 I am confused. an earlier poster said i was doing the right thing contacting the BS. Now i am getting attacked from all sides. why because he has money? I didnt know he had money I didnt even know his real name until i was pregnant with our 1st son. i am not entitled to any money, i dont want it, i just want our boys taken care of, as they are entitled. why am i the bad person to explain to my sons i was the OW? I didnt know I was the other woman until well after I was pregnant...then i was in love and neither of us could stay away from each other. when did i go from doing the right thing by contacting the BS to being the one attacked and wrong?? So, should i just have continued to bend to his will, live a life of lies and leave our sons unprotected in case something happens to him? And just fyi, i find him very attractive and a wonderful lover. the best lover i have ever known. everything about him attracts me...his voice, scent, touch, taste, intellect...he is wonderful in all aspects except for the lies...and that is what i wanted to end...i still love him. and different people find different things attractive. he has an awesome body, six pack abs, and everything about his body is above average, way above average! So, please do not knock how you might view his attractiveness...because i think he is a 10+ Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 .he is wonderful in all aspects except for the lies Wow..are you kidding with that? Just wow. I don't even know what to say to that. Just curious but had you ever even been in his house before you slept with him? For the life of me I can't imagine sleeping with someone without even knowing if the guy is who he says he is. If you're being attacked it's because people are seeing what your true motivations are. Your motivation is REVENGE...plain and simple. And I can't even say I blame you but the thing is is that you're not doing the right thing by your kids. You've publicly exposed the guy, you called the wife out of REVENGE...not to stop the lies. Come on. Be honest with yourself at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 I thought truth was synonomus with honesty??? Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAtLast Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 "So, i just called same attorney he paid between 40 to 50K to last time and he took my call right away" So he paid this attorney 40-50K and the attorney is taking YOUR case? An attorney will usually not take a case against someone they represented. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I thought truth was synonomus with honesty??? Right. But what's the motivation behind telling the wife the truth? Why didn't you come forward and tell her the truth after you first found out he was married? Are you saying that you care about her now? That you think she shouldn't be deceived? See where I'm going with this? You're not being honest about any of this. By the way, how the heck did you even want to be with this prize after you not only found out that he was married but that he never even told you his real name? I mean what did he say to you to convince you to continue with him? I can't for the life of me imagine what anyone could say after that that would make you want to be with this loser. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 "So, i just called same attorney he paid between 40 to 50K to last time and he took my call right away" So he paid this attorney 40-50K and the attorney is taking YOUR case? An attorney will usually not take a case against someone they represented. he had to pay both his and mine attys... i contacted my atty!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Right. But what's the motivation behind telling the wife the truth? Why didn't you come forward and tell her the truth after you first found out he was married? Are you saying that you care about her now? That you think she shouldn't be deceived? See where I'm going with this? You're not being honest about any of this. By the way, how the heck did you even want to be with this prize after you not only found out that he was married but that he never even told you his real name? I mean what did he say to you to convince you to continue with him? I can't for the life of me imagine what anyone could say after that that would make you want to be with this loser. he told me he told his wife about me and the children, so there was no reason for me to contact her if she already knew... he said a lot of things...its a sad sorry excuse but i love him & would have done anything to please him. my heart breaks knowing my actions has forceably emded our relationship even though i cant count the times i spent crying because of him. there is no rational explaination...other than i loved him then & i love him now... but i knew by calling his wife, especially if my suspicions were confirmed he didnt tell her then it would end relationship. i am not/was not strong enough to just walk away...does anyone understand that? i had to make it so there was no other choice! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 maybe this is a christmas troll. the fact that you didn't tell the wife after the first pregnancy or cut off contact before it became this extreme leads me to believe you aren't being honest about any of this. WHY now? why call his W NOW? this doesn't add up! you wait until two kids later and christmas eve to realize something needs to be done? i don't buy it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 I suppose it was me being in early labor because of the stress of it all and in the hospital friday...i called his phones his office, texted him, everything...and he never called back. they had to admit me to stop the contractions or would be forced to take our child by c-section early. i was all alone and hysterical. The fact he didnt even call broke my heart. I didnt know what was going to happen with our baby...They finally released me with medication to take every 4 hours and a list of things to come back to ER immediately if anything else happens...and ordered complete bedrest. They want me to stay pregnant at least another 1 to 2 weeks if possible. He still has not called or text me to this day. so, i guess since he told me he told his wife already I am hurt hormonal pregnant and feel more alone than i ever have, and worried about going into labor again...him not even calling to check on us, well, it just put me over the edge... He cared enough to come by and make love to me dec. 6th but not enough to call and check on me in the hospital??? or even check on his son or unborn childs health??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 I cant keep living like this, hurting like this...it had to end. The timing might not be the best, but you know my christmas isnt exactly wonderful either. He still hasnt called and I doubt he will, that just shows he is not truly the great father he makes himself out to be... That is fine...I can love our children enough for us both...and it is his loss of two beautiful children. He has to live with his treatment of them...I will never abandon them...and money, no matter how much does not replace a father! Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Why is it I was doing the right thing until everyone found out he had money? wtf does it matter if he makes $5 or $5 trillion? that is not my money... I dont care about his money. I would marry him today and spend my life loving him with any pre-numpt he wanted as long as he always loved and took care of our children. Why do you think I waited for all these years? He knows I am not after his money. If I wanted that I would have sold a story somewhere looking for 5 minutes of fame...not come to a forum of support and outed the relationship. You know what, whether you feel it was wrong or not, it was freeing for me that someone finally knows... The years I have had to avoid new friends, etc. I hate being some secret..my children are not bastards they have a father and deserve a father on their birth certificate. If their father is not a good man, then that is the case...but at least they have one... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I never thought you did the right thing whether he was a penniless bum or a billionaire...makes no difference. You messed up by continuing to be with him even after you knew he had lied to you. He's scum. And no, your kids don't have a father. They have a sperm donor. And you had them out of wedlock. It's very sad. I feel for you. You sound down and I don't like seeing anyone that way. But you have done this to yourself. You made some very bad choices and now your kids will have to pay for that. As much as you may love them, no..your love doesn't replace the love of a father. Two boys with no dad. Nice. He's a piece of crap who just used you and now he'll probably throw money at you to make you and your sons go away. All you can do it get what you can out of the bum and try to have a nice life with your sons. Do you have a support system of family and friends at least? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 then if you intend to continue on with a life for you and your boys then don't name him on this birth certificate either. disappear and have your life with your kids. don't ask him for ANYTHING. act as if he never existed. if it's not about his money - then don't ask for any of it - for you or your boys. i bet you won't do that though... you will take his money and continue the contact with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I don't agree with 2Sunny. Why should the boys be further punished? Isn't it bad enough that they will grow up with no father? Why should they be deprived of the financial support that is rightly their due? Maybe at least they can go to the best schools, etc. Besides, why should the bum get off scott free? He should at least (and it IS the law) be made to support these kids. Also, I don't agree with not having this jerk's name on the birth certificate. Imagine how much worse that would make these boys feel? And anyway, they DO have a right to someday know who their biological father is. It's just a shame that they have to grow up knowing that he didn't want them. I can never imagine what I, as a mother, would tell my sons under those conditions. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I think selfish is not wanting to know the truth...why would a BS not want the truth???? I have documents, photos, etc. I guess she is happy with a man who is a serial cheater and liar. Whatever, I am free of him...I know that now...all that is left is to provide for the children and that is it. Wow. Just Wow. How did you fix your mind to even form that question? Selfish, you have the right to call his BW selfish? You have slept with, gotten pregnant by, and given birth to her H's children! OMG. Why shouldn't she be happy with a serial cheater and liar, you were. It didn't matter to you when you were willingly with him that he was cheating and lying to her, it only matters that he is lying to you. Go through the legal system and get your kids taken care of, then go to a counselor and get yourself taken care of. You need to accept responsibililty for your actions. He couldn't have had children with you without your participation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 i will do whatever is the complete honest truth. in whatever means that includes. my main concern and priority right now is my youngest son and getting through these last couple weeks of pregnancy. I dont care about him anymore. He has done nothing buy lie and take advantage of me...not to mention how many other women he dated on the web-site saying he was single, 41, not married and no children...anyone date a man named "adam livingston?" I would check his photo and make sure it is really him. his wife knows he has had affairs on her for years apparently. i dont care if his christmas holiday is ruined. mine and my childrens holiday isnt exactly happy happy either. why should he get to continue his life of lies and allow us to suffer for his happiness????[/quote] You make it seem like you are an innocent bystander who got caught in a drive by sperm shooting. You aren't. You are as responsible as he is, maybe more so because you are the one who will be the primary parent. The one who would be pregnant, the one who will have to explain to your children one day the circumstances of their birth. If your children't holiday isn't happy(especially at such a young age)that my dear is on you. I have the responsibility of making sure my children's holiday is happy and they are nearly grown. Why do I have that responsibility, I am their mother. I chose to bring them into this world. And no matter what their father does, I am still the mother who will move hell and high water to do my job no matter what. Get over yourself, hormones or not and do the right thing. I am an advocate for the bs being told, but you my dear are being a tad bit childish in wanting what you never had in the first place.....her husband. If he was doing what you wanted, you would be content to let him live in his house of lies and deceit. Link to post Share on other sites
LavendarGirl Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 You make it seem like you are an innocent bystander who got caught in a drive by sperm shooting. Tough neighborhood. Don a body condom before you go outside your door. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Tough neighborhood. Don a body condom before you go outside your door. It's not the neighborhood, it's the selfish people who live at the corner of Fantasy Ln. and Denial Ave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 this time he is not sucking his way back into my life with false promises. i will not be his play toy, at his disposal. i will do exactly as my attorney instructs. my attorney has my sons best interests in mind. so that is what i will do. i will keep posted the end result of this saga. but beware...men are good at lying...even better when you are with their child and in love... so, what to do? find a man who no matter what the outcome, never lies.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author liesandbetrayal Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 I am following my attorneys advice to the letter. I am letting him handle the entire case and I will support what he says is best for my sons. Last round of this I let my MM talk me out of my attorneys advice and it has been trouble ever since. So, no more contact with MM. I've already notified him of such and that he can only contact me thru my attorney. Unless he wants to see he sons. By law, I have to accommodate any reasonable request he makes to visit his sons. Thats it...he is not to contact me for any other purpose. He is not talking me out of continuing with attorney or trusting him again to take care of things. I'm done with the trusting part... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Wait a second... I know exactly who this is. I remember your story well, Bella. Still working on a story, I see. At least your details were consistent. Remember this? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Oh shoot. The link doesn't work for me but you know what? I was thinking back and the whole OW with a MM who was a billionaire thing kept popping in my head. But Bella never mentioned an actual person did she? She did tease us all and kept saying how he was "famous" or known to many or some such thing. I guess one never knows around here. I sure hope this really IS fiction though. And if it is, this could be cause for a lawsuit. I believe this would be considered libel. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/member.php?u=36367 Try this one. There were a lot of deletions in the threads, but there is a site that compiled all the details. It wasn't hard to dig up. Link to post Share on other sites
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