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Avoidant Personality Disorder


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Treatment

Antidepressant medications can often reduce sensitivity to rejection. Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive/behavioral approaches, may be helpful. A combination of medication and talk therapy may be more effective than either treatment alone.

 

People with this disorder may have some ability to relate to others, and this can be improved with treatment. Without treatment, a person with avoidant personality disorder may become resigned to a life of near or total isolation. They may go on to develop a second psychiatric disorder such as substance abuse or a mood disorder such as depression. See your health-care provider or a psychiatrist if shyness or fear of rejection overwhelms your ability to function in life and relationships.

 

Here's the treatment section for APD, from the attached link in my opening post.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/avoidant.html

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Without treatment, a person with avoidant personality disorder may become resigned to a life of near or total isolation.

 

And this is bad because?

 

Not everyone feels the need to be around people all the time. Sheesh.

 

"Subject likes her own time too much. Prescribe strong pills.":laugh::laugh:

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About 1 percent of the population has this disorder, which is equally divided between the sexes.

 

and this:

 

See your health-care provider or a psychiatrist if shyness or fear of rejection overwhelms your ability to function in life and relationships.

 

The latter is what some of us have been saying.

 

Also I thought it interesting that only 1% of the population really have this DISORDER...most of us who can somewhat relate tend towards this personality TYPE...not a disorder.

 

Absolutely I agree that people who are crippled by it should seek some type of help.

 

And if someone thinks they're not CRIPPLED by it and they are functioning at a satisfactory level, then that's up to them and no one else to decide.

 

Some may say they're in denial. That's fine. But it's not anyone else's call but the individual in question.

 

I'm seeing another thread on here tonight where diagnoses are being made left and right. That's a dangerous and ignorant practice in my view.

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I was prescribed an antidepressant called Effexor XR about six years ago and put on close to the highest dosage. I've wanted to get off it for years, but it has horrific, now well-documented withdrawal effects. Just google Effexor withdrawal effects.

 

I know this med well. My wife took it about six years ago to deal with my mom's dementia. Even with a precise reverse titration over six weeks, she still had nightmares, sweats and, more insidiously, short-term memory loss for over a year. Ouch...

 

Topically, IMO, it would take a psychology specialist to differentiate APD from a host of concomitant conditions/disorders. Our psych follows a simple rule: If a behavior or personality characteristic inhibits the formation of healthy relationships (personal, professional, etc, not just romantic), it bears scrutiny by a professional. This is no different than having criteria for medical conditions requiring treatment. Of course, one can, in either case, choose to ignore such guidelines. One's life is one's own :)

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  • Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  • Has no close friends
  • Reluctant to become involved with people
  • Avoids activities or occupations that involve contact with others
  • Shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong
  • Exaggerates potential difficulties
  • Shows excessive restraint in intimate relationships
  • Hold the view that they are socially inept, inferior, or unappealing to other people

 

A lot of this rings true with me as well.

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A lot of this rings true with me as well.

 

See that's the danger with stuff like this. On the other thread you said you exhibited many of the traits of bpd.

 

Look, many of us display many or some of the "symptoms" listed for these so-called disorders. What matters is to what degree and how often. And again, does it generally paralyze you from living life.

 

If so, then perhaps help of some kind is in order. If not, then these are merely personality traits and nothing more so stop driving yourself crazy thinking there's something wrong with you. (but if you're the dude who drinks bleach, like I think you are, ignore the above and get help immediately! I'm serious.)

 

I worry that some people on here who are already down though (situational) will start thinking there's all manner of things wrong with them when they're just displaying NORMAL human emotions.

 

Please people...take this stuff with a grain of salt and educate yourself on some of this nonsense.

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See that's the danger with stuff like this. On the other thread you said you exhibited many of the traits of bpd.

 

Look, many of us display many or some of the "symptoms" listed for these so-called disorders. What matters is to what degree and how often. And again, does it generally paralyze you from living life.

 

If so, then perhaps help of some kind is in order. If not, then these are merely personality traits and nothing more so stop driving yourself crazy thinking there's something wrong with you. (but if you're the dude who drinks bleach, like I think you are, ignore the above and get help immediately! I'm serious.)

 

I worry that some people on here who are already down though (situational) will start thinking there's all manner of things wrong with them when they're just displaying NORMAL human emotions.

 

Please people...take this stuff with a grain of salt and educate yourself on some of this nonsense.

 

A lot of things do paralyze me from having a life. As for drinking bleach, I don't.

 

What makes you think I'm some guy on here who drinks bleach?

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A lot of things do paralyze me from having a life. As for drinking bleach, I don't.

 

What makes you think I'm some guy on here who drinks bleach?

 

Ok, sorry about the bleach comment. I thought you were an old poster.

 

Anywho, sorry you feel paralyzed from having a life. What do you think is stopping you? Maybe start a thread on it? Have you ever gone for help?

 

I know I've felt that way in my life. Is there anyone out there who HASN'T felt that way at some time or another?

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Ok, sorry about the bleach comment. I thought you were an old poster.

 

Anywho, sorry you feel paralyzed from having a life. What do you think is stopping you?

 

The things I've mentioned, and social anxiety.

 

Maybe start a thread on it? Have you ever gone for help?

 

I know I've felt that way in my life. Is there anyone out there who HASN'T felt that way at some time or another?

 

I don't think there's any point in making a thread on it as I'm already trying to sort things out. I've been for help, I was seeing a CBT therapist for about a year.

 

The thing is, is that I've felt this way for a lot of my life, maybe since the early 90's, then it got really bad around 1998 and has only started to get slightly better these last couple of years.

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Sorry but I'm not seeing this at all. That's not been my observation. Hell I've even listed all of MY "disorders!":laugh:

 

Maybe it's only the narcissists who deny since they couldn't possibly think there's anything wrong with THEM.

 

There might be something in that! One time I suggested to a counsellor that I might have narcissistic personality disorder (I was convinced an ex had NPD and had started to wonder if perhaps I was projecting). He said "people with NPD are the last ones to believe there could possibly anything wrong with them." He also said that if they do get therapy, their focus is on "beating" and second-guessing the therapist, rather than working with them co-operatively. For that reason they don't tend to be responsive to treatment.

 

Then again you could say that's therapists rationalising when the counselling they give someone is unsuccessful. It gets a bit exhausting - all these different defence mechanisms (that it is human nature, rather than necessarily a sign of mental dysfunction, to employ) flying around.

 

Ask a psychiatrist "am I insane?" and they'll probably talk more in terms of faulty perceptions and/or delusions and dangerous behaviour that may be treatable by medication. I would think that very few people who find themselves on the receiving end of a layperson's speculation (about whether they're disordered) fall into that category. The problems with any label ending in the word "disorder" is that it does carry the taint of abnormality or "being mental" about it. Very stigmatising, and it's not surprising that people get defensive if they feel people are applying those labels to them.

 

Take depression. It's a mental illness. A lot of people seem to regard mental illness as something permament that's a sign of some level of insanity....but a depressed person can be a perfectly rational one. They might have lapsed into depression due to a combination of circumstances and a sensitive temperament. They might be perceiving the circumstances around them in a way that's generally accurate - if somewhat negative. In some cases that depression might lead off into problematic addictions if the person doesn't have access to a good support network.

 

Addictions are often associated with a person trying to avoid thinking about the circumstances that are exacerbating their depression. Some of those circumstances might be beyond the person's control. Despite the constant emphasis on personal responsibility for everything that goes wrong in a person's life, people just aren't always that powerful. Sometimes sh*t just happens, and is difficult to deal with.

 

Finding it difficult to deal with, and possibly not using the best mechanisms for dealing with it, doesn't mean a person has a mental disorder that they should be conveniently boxed into and patronised about . And getting therapy to identify better ways of dealing with it doesn't mean they're being treated for a disorder. No more than sitting down and discussing a problem with a trusted friend or relative is a sign that a person's disordered. It can mean nothing more than that they've run into a difficulty which their normal coping methods aren't up to.

 

I'm so glad we weren't the type to blindly put our sons on meds. It's horrible what the medical community does..using people as guinea pigs.

 

I have very mixed feelings about that, I'll admit. I think that if a person responds well to a particular medication then it can improve their life - and perhaps assist them to cope with therapy that will help them on a longer term basis (so that, hopefully, they don't have to revert to the medication).

 

On the other hand - yes, doctors get kickbacks for prescribing certain meds. That's worrying, and I think it's very much in order for anyone whose doctor is wanting to prescribe them meds to say "hang on. What about a referral for counselling being the first resort in a situation like this?"

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The things I've mentioned, and social anxiety.

 

 

 

I don't think there's any point in making a thread on it as I'm already trying to sort things out. I've been for help, I was seeing a CBT therapist for about a year.

 

The thing is, is that I've felt this way for a lot of my life, maybe since the early 90's, then it got really bad around 1998 and has only started to get slightly better these last couple of years.

 

Well at least it is getting better. If it makes you feel any better, I too suffer from social anxiety. I mean I have a host of other disorders apparently but still manage to have a pretty normal life. It wasn't always that way though. As we get older we just figure things out sometimes.

 

Did the year in therapy help at all?

 

My advice? Do ONE thing a week that takes you out of your comfort zone a bit. It could be anything...like just complimenting the cashier at the grocery store. Doesn't matter what it is, just do one thing a week. Can you try that? Because see, after awhile it just becomes less scary.

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Who decides who "desperately" needs therapy? I'm serious. If a person has a good marriage and family life and is happy who is anyone else to say that they need "therapy."

 

I have to agree.

 

Besides, wouldn't the person claiming to be so adept at labeling others as needing therapy perhaps be the one in denial?

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Well at least it is getting better. If it makes you feel any better, I too suffer from social anxiety. I mean I have a host of other disorders apparently but still manage to have a pretty normal life. It wasn't always that way though. As we get older we just figure things out sometimes.

 

Well, I'm happy things have got better for you.

 

Did the year in therapy help at all?

 

Yes, I managed to start taking driving lessons and stuck at them all the way through, I passed my theory test first time and my driving test first time. I'm now looking for a car and have a few thousand to get something pretty good.

 

I also started medication before seeing the therapist, it seems to help a little. I do know that I'm able to get my hair cut by a pretty girl and feel sorta comfortable, sure I still feel a bit shy and nervous, but I know before meds I would've never of been able to do that, my anxiety, shyness and negative thoughts of how I come across would've made it impossible.

 

My advice? Do ONE thing a week that takes you out of your comfort zone a bit. It could be anything...like just complimenting the cashier at the grocery store. Doesn't matter what it is, just do one thing a week. Can you try that? Because see, after awhile it just becomes less scary.

 

Well, I'm just doing things in steps at the moment, I have a lot of things planned out. Right now I'm just concentrating on getting a car and then getting more used to driving (as where I live I've never been able to go out on my own on, as in walking somewhere, because I just hate the area and I always get picked on. Being able to just get into a car as soon as I walk out the door will really help, as I'll then feel comfortable with going out anytime I want, on my own).

 

From this I can then start progressing further, like looking for a career or going to college to get a good career, and then obviously, moving to an area where I feel comfortable.

 

Btw, I remember your name from when I last used to post on here, can't remember if we got on or argued though, lol.

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I have to agree.

 

Besides, wouldn't the person claiming to be so adept at labeling others as needing therapy perhaps be the one in denial?

 

Ya think? I love the people who think they've got no issues at all. I believe TonyT already said it elsewhere...we ALL do. If someone wants to call it a disorder or a syndrome, so be it..whatever. I just don't happen to agree.

 

That's really wonderful Ross. Keep it up. You're just a late-bloomer is all. (As was I.)

 

As a matter of fact, I DO remember you. And yes, we didn't get on. But it's ok. I'm a forgiving person for the most part.:)

 

I'll be looking forward to seeing your progress and hope you keep us updated.

 

You can do this you know. And one day you'll look back at how you used to be and you won't believe it. You'll see.

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Ya think? I love the people who think they've got no issues at all. I believe TonyT already said it elsewhere...we ALL do. If someone wants to call it a disorder or a syndrome, so be it..whatever. I just don't happen to agree.

 

That's really wonderful Ross. Keep it up. You're just a late-bloomer is all. (As was I.)

 

As a matter of fact, I DO remember you. And yes, we didn't get on. But it's ok. I'm a forgiving person for the most part.:)

 

Lol, well, for the life of me I can't remember whatever it was that we used argue about, but don't worry, I forgive you as well. ;)

 

I'll be looking forward to seeing your progress and hope you keep us updated.

 

Yeah I will do.

 

You can do this you know. And one day you'll look back at how you used to be and you won't believe it. You'll see.

 

I hope so.

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Ya think? I love the people who think they've got no issues at all.

 

Now that, in itself, has GOT to be some kind of syndrome, leading possibly to feeling so superior to the rest of the world population that they will never find a mate who can compare to their perfection, thus they remain alone forever.

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Now that, in itself, has GOT to be some kind of syndrome, leading possibly to feeling so superior to the rest of the world population that they will never find a mate who can compare to their perfection, thus they remain alone forever.

 

Yikes! But you know what? To hear some people tell it, the messed up ones are the ones who want/need a relationship. If you're healthy (according to some) you should be perfectly fine with living out your days without a significant other...not only be fine with it but you should RELISH it! You should embrace your solitude. Uhm, yeah. Okie dokie. Are we related to moles or to chimps? Have you ever seen a chimp live alone and like it? I know I haven't.

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Oh and thanks, Ross. I don't remember what we sparred about either.;)

 

Yes, stick around. I want to see your progress. And you don't have to hope..you WILL get better. That's great about the car and driving. That's a huge step! You should be proud. Bet you never thought you could do that, right?

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There might be something in that! One time I suggested to a counsellor that I might have narcissistic personality disorder (I was convinced an ex had NPD and had started to wonder if perhaps I was projecting). He said "people with NPD are the last ones to believe there could possibly anything wrong with them." He also said that if they do get therapy, their focus is on "beating" and second-guessing the therapist, rather than working with them co-operatively. For that reason they don't tend to be responsive to treatment.

At the time when the entire NPD thing came up through reading about it on LS and the ex, I also asked my therapist if I had it. She laughed and said no way.

 

We discussed disorders in general. She's one that believes in disorders as a way to understand grouped individuals and treatment types that work best for these groupings of issues, keeping in mind the individual traits.

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A lot of this rings true with me as well.

Ross, disorders are about severity level of symptoms. Trust a good professional, rather than self-diagnosis or armchair diagnosis. Having said that, if you display a lot of symptoms and it's affecting you negatively, then go see a professional. Make certain it's one that comes highly recommended and if at all possible, one with at minimum 10 years field experience and credentials up their ying-yang.

 

A bad therapist can mess with you just as badly as someone with Borderline, one of the more extreme Cluster B disorders, who's in denial.

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No that's not how it done although it may work. Pills come in different strengths. Some are 2 mg, some 100 mg and many in between. So if you take 100 mg for instance you get 25 mg pills and start by taking three 25 mgs each time for however long until the doctor says to and then go down to two 25 mgs and keep working your way down until you are off of them.

 

When you started did you start at the same strength you are on now? Or did you break into it?

 

You can call your old doctor since s/he is the one who prescribed them for you. You may be able to get answers from them.

Effexor can be hell to withdraw from. Going from one strength down to the next highest sucks. It's simply too much for a lot of people to take. Hence the strategy of removing the tiny balls.

 

In theory, your method is right. In reality, to a lot of people on Effexor, it's simply not possible. It hurts too much.

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Effexor can be hell to withdraw from. Going from one strength down to the next highest sucks. It's simply too much for a lot of people to take. Hence the strategy of removing the tiny balls.

 

In theory, your method is right. In reality, to a lot of people on Effexor, it's simply not possible. It hurts too much.

I was reading up about Effexor and yes, that's what a lot of people recommend. Start by removing two of these tiny balls and if that's too painful, one at a time, over a period of time.

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Effexor can be hell to withdraw from. Going from one strength down to the next highest sucks. It's simply too much for a lot of people to take. Hence the strategy of removing the tiny balls.

 

In theory, your method is right. In reality, to a lot of people on Effexor, it's simply not possible. It hurts too much.

 

Really it is that bad? I hope they've stopped prescribing it. I really don't know how they get away with putting it out there in the first place. I honestly don't.

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RE: reverse titration. Consult a pharmacist for advice. With Effexor (and some other drugs), one must titrate (down) in finer steps than the whole pill method. IIRC, from a lower dosage, we used 5mg steps, with a periodic bump back up. The methodology is dependent on the psychopharmacology of the med and how quickly or slowly it is metabolized by the individual (and each individual is different). I dealt with a lot of this stuff (titration primarily) with my mom's dementia and psychosis drugs. Dementia patients generally are like the birds in a coal mine (very sensitive to med changes). After awhile, I think I developed APD just out of self-defense ;)

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I read up on effexor. They still prescribe it. You can still buy it.

 

I hate pharmaceutical companies with a passion. I really do. I wouldn't even put it past them to add something unnecessarily just to cause a terrible withdrawal from the medicine they are cashing in on.

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