I Need New Girlfriends

[jerbear]

Good call. Then again, at 33, Im still too old for one of them.

 

But seriously, I am going to investigate some clubs and social networking.

 

I believe you once mentioned a business, so how about chamber of commerce to business connections. Another poster bought up sports so that can be a common thread in finding people of like interests.

 

Another place is politics which brings together different types of people. Also have you considered other orgs like? for example Habitat for Humanity. They even have trips where you go to another country to build. You pay for everything, trip expenses, some lodging, food, etc...

[Jilly Bean]

I hear you on this one. I gave up a long time ago on ever having quality g/f's. I've never really gotten along with women. The few I've had have been casual friends. Nothing deep.

 

Now, I settle for my on line female friends. Believe it or not, they seem more "real" to me than any g/f's I've had in real life.

 

And yes, I wish some of you lived around here.

 

Good luck, JB!

 

It's funny, Touche. When I was in my teens and 20s, I had a ton of gf's. Slowly, but surely, they all fell away due to marriage, moving, etc. Lately, either I have met emotionally unstable women incapable of talking about anything pithy, or drama queens, or women that compete with me.

 

I'm very discouraged.

 

Vintage - thanks for sharing your story.

 

OJB - I am hardly socially conscious (I'm a Republican! lol, which means I just write a check).

 

I think I will go back to doing the things that I love, and if I happen to meet women this way, then great. I used to take painting classes, but I was the youngest by 20 years in the class. So I didn't make any friends, but I had a lot of fun.

 

If not, then I might just be like Touche.

[nopainnogain]

but I was the youngest by 20 years in the class. So I didn't make any friends, but I had a lot of fun.

 

.

 

there you go with that age deal again. Its only a number,jeez lol

 

I got friends that are senior citizens lol. this one old timer is my chess buddy at starbucks . He always tells me crazy ww2 stories. he rules

[Ariadne]

JB,

 

I know! Be friends with the hairdresser girl.

 

She seemed kind of nice (better than put cok out chick).

 

You just have to train her a bit for when you go out that's all.

 

And probably she knows tons of gossip from her shop and stories.

 

At least something, can't be too picky. Is like men.

 

(And now you don't have the Baller)

[nopainnogain]

JB,

 

 

 

(And now you don't have the Baller)

 

 

"is there a heaven for a baller, the line is busy everytime i call her "

 

lol,reminds me of a tupac song.

 

Carry on

[hotgurl]

I know what you mean my two best girlfriends have just moved away.

 

well 1 moved to the west coast 3 or 4 years ago and one is moving to MAryland in 2 weeks.

 

I am so sad.

[Touche]

It's funny, Touche. When I was in my teens and 20s, I had a ton of gf's. Slowly, but surely, they all fell away due to marriage, moving, etc. Lately, either I have met emotionally unstable women incapable of talking about anything pithy, or drama queens, or women that compete with me.

 

I'm very discouraged.

 

Vintage - thanks for sharing your story.

 

OJB - I am hardly socially conscious (I'm a Republican! lol, which means I just write a check).

 

I think I will go back to doing the things that I love, and if I happen to meet women this way, then great. I used to take painting classes, but I was the youngest by 20 years in the class. So I didn't make any friends, but I had a lot of fun.

 

If not, then I might just be like Touche.

 

Yikes! Poor you!

 

Haha. Seriously though, I'm fine with things as they are. I just got off the phone with one of my LS buddies. I speak pretty regularly to another, email with others, etc.

 

The only thing I miss is being able to sometimes get together for dinner or a "chick flick" movie night out. That would be great.

 

But I guess I don't want it badly enough to do anything about it. If I did, I'd get involved in something to meet other women. It just depends how badly you want that.

 

I wonder why it's harder for you now, JB. Even when I was in my teens and 20's I didn't have a bunch of g/f's. I've just always been uncomfortable around other women.

[Jilly Bean]

Yikes! Poor you!

 

I wonder why it's harder for you now, JB. Even when I was in my teens and 20's I didn't have a bunch of g/f's. I've just always been uncomfortable around other women.

 

Oh, stop it! You're totally fabulous, and you know it.

 

I dunno, Touche. Maybe because I've become more intolerant in a lot of areas in my life. I've simplified things, had a big priority check, and really would rather sit on the couch than be out with superficial people.

 

When I was younger, friendships were so much more social, plus, our lives were so less complicated. It just seemed easier...

[GrnEyedGemini]

Ya know, I'm 23 and I don't have a lot of good gf's either. I've never really liked many women I meet. And like Touche, I just feel uncomfortable around a lot of them.

 

It's funny too, cuz my bf tries to make me be friends with girlfriends of his buddies. We'll go over to someone's house and I'll ask if I know anyone. Sometime yes, sometimes no...then he'll say something like "Oh but they are all bringing their girlfriends"...and I'll respond with "And?" Lol. I can meet all those girls and still don't end up liking any of them. I don't know, but I can meet a woman and know within the first 5 minutes if I am going to like her...call it intution or whatever...but it is always right.

 

For example...my man tried to make me be friends with this chick I'll call W...she is the wife of one of his guy friends. I could tell when I met her, there was something about her that wasn't what I wanted to be around. Come to find out...she's HUGE nosy busybody that puts her nose into EVERYONE's business! My bf and I were having probs last summer. We went to a get together at her house in the back yard and within 3 hrs, my bf was tipsy (I wasn't...I rarely drink) and went missing. I went to look for him and found him in the garage ,alone with W, talking about me and our relationship!!! WTF?! Omg I was pissed. At him and her! You just don't do that. Sneak off at a party that I am at to talk about me and my relationship when she didn't even f'n know me!! The nerve of some chicks! My intution was right about her. I refuse to even go to their house now.

 

I just don't make gfs. The ones I have have taken a couple years to get to where they are now, but I still don't trust them 100%.

 

Maybe that's my problem. I don't trust people, lol. Let alone women! There are too many sneaky ones out there.

[jerbear]

OJB - I am hardly socially conscious (I'm a Republican! lol, which means I just write a check).

 

That is another way to make friends.

[Touche]

Oh, stop it! You're totally fabulous, and you know it.

 

I dunno, Touche. Maybe because I've become more intolerant in a lot of areas in my life. I've simplified things, had a big priority check, and really would rather sit on the couch than be out with superficial people.

 

When I was younger, friendships were so much more social, plus, our lives were so less complicated. It just seemed easier...

 

Thanks, JB. That was nice of you to say. You're pretty cool yourself.

 

That makes so much sense. It really does. I can really relate to that.

 

I think if you tried though you can still find some meaningful relationships with women..I mean non-superficial ones.

 

I think if I tried I could. But like I said I'm just not that motivated.

 

I'm happy with the "cyber" buddy thing.

 

I know my neighbor and I could become wonderful friends. She's made overtures. I've resisted though. And I've had other opportunities with wives of colleagues of my H's...but there again I've dropped the ball.

 

Maybe you're not open to it? I don't know. There are opportunities for friendships all around you if you are open to it.

[Star Gazer]

Just get over it and move to California already so that we can be BFFs for life! LOL

 

[Green]

I was building a sex bot... I guess I could build you a friend too

[Touche]

Just get over it and move to California already so that we can be BFFs for life! LOL

 

 

Awww, so cute. I can really see you two as being compatible buddies actually.

[Jilly Bean]

NO PAIN - I just find I don't have a ton in common with women that are in their 50's and have kids my age. It's just hard to relate to.

 

ARIADNE - I dunno, it's just SO awkward now. She still does my Mom's hair, and I just don't think she was too into continuing the friendship anyhow. But, just as well - it kinda goes back to not wanting a certain energy in my life - competitive women won't/don't last long with me. But I think I'm in a stage of life where I'd really rather be alone, than with anyone I don't enjoy. Is that wrong? Or, realistic and fulfilling?

 

HOTGURL - what will you do to fill the void of your gf's leaving?

 

GEMINI - are you OK with not having female friends, or, at your age, is it bothersome? I agree that I also have always preferred the company of men over women, even as friends, but we all need a gal pal in our life. I had a lot of gf's at 23, but again, we didn't get deep with anything, as we weren't deep people at that age - lol. I still had most of my friends from college at that age, but I also met a lot more people. Now, most people are married with kids, and less inclined to have single friends.

 

KMT - please make my friend hot. I like having hot friends.

 

SG - I'd be your BFF, but I fear you'd get me in too much trouble. lol

 

TOUCHE - I hear you about not wanting to invest. You have a great life as it is - why risk the drama with someone so close to home?

 

I was talking to a gf of mine earlier tonight (I adore this woman, btw - shes a bit older, we've been friends for years, and she rocks. But she lives in SoFla )

 

Anyhoo...

 

She was telling me a story of one of her gf's who had done something that pissed her off a few months ago. I knew all about it at the time. She reminded me that they had been friends for 35 years, but no longer.

 

Is this a state of our times? Do you think we are getting more fed up and generally intolerant of crap in our lives, including friendships?

[Green]

Of course I'll make your friend hot, with just touch of bisexuality

[Jilly Bean]

Of course I'll make your friend hot, with just touch of bisexuality

 

lol. I'm really good to NOT have that in a gal pal...

[Star Gazer]

SG - I'd be your BFF, but I fear you'd get me in too much trouble. lol

 

But it would be the best kind!!!

[Jilly Bean]

But it would be the best kind!!!

 

Fine, fine.

 

So long as you agree to ALWAYS hold my hair back, and have bail money as required.

[D-Lish]

What i find myself in need of is single gf's... people to go out with and have dinners and just hang out.

 

In the past 2 years I have watched all my close friends get involved in relationships- and they rarely want to do anything besides have a lunch here and there or chat on the phone when their bf's aren't available.

 

I enjoy the company of good gf's... and after seeing them sort of drop like flies and cave with their new partners... I am really feeling the impact of missing out on that closeness and bonding.

 

I think once I start working things will change and I'll meet new people- which I am looking forward to.

 

Good gf's are hard to find though... and being at this age- most of my former social group are married, having kids, getting engaged....

I truly am the LAST single person left in my social circle. I even get left out of couples dinner parties and kids b-day parties because of it.

 

Thank god for TV and the internet!

 

The same female friends that are rarely available to go out- are the same people that give me a hard time for dating youngins.... which sort of pisses me off. Of course I want to fill my time with some distractions here and there when my former circle of girls aren't up to going out anymore!

[Jilly Bean]

See - that's not fair, D. They have moved on with their lives, and now begrudge you trying to do the same with yours? Harsh judgements.

 

(Some) women suck.

 

I'd have you all as my gal pals.

 

And yes, thank heavens for TV, internet, and porn.

[openingup]

Hi JB,

 

I've met some of my closest gfs in unlikely ways, but they may work for you. It's easy to go places where you may meet those with similar interests, and I don't discount this (wine tastings are a good bet), but try going somewhere you don't care to be. A boring industry conference is good for this. The best way to bond with someone is mutual dislike, LOL. Ignore the earnest crowd and head for someone who looks as disgusted with the whole thing as you.

 

Since sarcasm is my second language, I usually find like souls quickly and have a great time ripping on the speaker, etc. If you hate the same stuff, you tend to like each other, IMO.

 

Also, give compliments freely. If you see a great pair of shoes on someone, mention it. Ditto hair, handbag. . . We all like acceptance, and knowing that someone else sees us as stylish, articulate, funny - whatever - makes us more receptive to letting that person get closer to us. Kindness and openness build trust.

 

Good luck with the search, and don't lower your standards!

[Jilly Bean]

Hi, Opening!

 

Thanks for your tips - I like them!

 

So, then maybe I should chat with someone at jury duty or the DMV. lol

[Green]

See - that's not fair, D. They have moved on with their lives, and now begrudge you trying to do the same with yours? Harsh judgements.

 

(Some) women suck.

 

I'd have you all as my gal pals.

 

And yes, thank heavens for TV, internet, and porn.

 

 

All these gals do exist in your area. Like for instance if you wanted Dlish and Stargazer as friends... my guess is Dlish and Stargazer type girls doplegangers if you will live right in your area. Its like if I was like Damn why arnt there any girls like Jilly bean around here... I would be wrong cause I could look around and find girls who matched my perception

[Jilly Bean]

Well then come here and ferret them out for me, K. Find my soul sisters in my town for me! I'll even give you a commission.