Why are women so Catty with each other?

[vonerik012]

LOL

 

Yes men fight with friends.. So do women.

 

That isn't the same as being catty towards people you do not know or never met.

[Trialbyfire]

LOL

 

Yes men fight with friends.. So do women.

 

That isn't the same as being catty towards people you do not know or never met.

Do you know all the female members on LS that you've been attacking? It appears to me that this is a blatant display of "feminine cattiness".

[Mary3]

I do know a vast number of men at work do not want to get involved in the catti~ness.

 

If you try to include them they always seem to not want to be involved with the drama.

 

I too love cats. I wish there were a better word than catti~ness

 

I would not say all women are this way. Some are pretty mellow and don't want the drama.

 

And there are men who do want to start a fire . They seem to be the exception though.

[vonerik012]

Do you know all the female members on LS that you've been attacking? It appears to me that this is a blatant display of "feminine cattiness".

 

Having an opposing viewpoint is attacking? You are the name caller...

[nopainnogain]

Unless you are a best friend or close friend, women seem to be very catty and judgemental with each other. How can this be explained?

 

We seem so competitive, judgemental, and fair weathered with women aquaintances or total strangers, and it bothers me. I just want to know why we do this to each other.

 

Anyone ever notice this?

Thats just the way they are wired. nothing we can do about it.

[The Collector]

In caveman times, men needed to work together to kill the mammoth. Women needed to gossip and backbite to climb the social ladder back at the cave.

[Rooster_DAR]

It's part of their drama queen character.

[Mary3]

What category do the easy going mellow non troublemaker women fit in ?

[Taramere]

What category do the easy going mellow non troublemaker women fit in ?

 

First of all, we need to define the categories and pay some attention to group dynamics.

 

1. Alpha woman. In charge of the pack. Whichever mate she selects will probably need to be in charge of his own separate pack.

 

2. Wanna be alpha male in alpha-female's pack. He beats his chest at alphamale, she bares her breasts at him contemptuously and threatens to exclude him from the pack. He retires to mate with his another female in the pack, otherwise known as....

 

3. wannabe Alphamale's partner. Regards herself as an alphafemale, but bases this exclusively on her sexual partner's status - which, unbeknown to or admitted by her, is actually alpha-minus or beta plus rather than fully fledged alpha. Where she exists in a group and is permitted to obtain any significant power, this pack member will elevate itself swiftly to the dubious status of cattiest female in the group. Found in many office environments, this can be anything from the young hussy in the typing pool who blew one of the middle managers in the toilets at the annual Xmas party, to the ancient crone who hasn't washed the right side of her face since the head of the sales division kissed her on the cheek 100 years ago.

 

4. Standard group member. Just trying to get by. Stays close to the pack - partly because it's gregarious and enjoys the company, but also for protection from predators. Fears incurring the wrath of either the alphafemale or the wannabe alphamale's female partner. Tries to please both. Sometimes assists in engineering fights between the two of them as this provides the group with entertainment. These fights are also a diversory tactic that provides a form of protection for weak, elderly or disabled group members who are otherwise at risk of becoming isolated from the pack and seized upon by predators.

 

5. Lone female. Neither fish nor fowl, she ambles around the periphery of the group like a dingo at a barbeque. The lone female has a sort of relationship with the pack. Being on the periphery, she is in a good position to alert it to predators. In return, the group will permit her to grab the odd piece of meat, engage in mutual grooming sessions with certain pack members (even a lone female has baggage in the form of lice and fleas that require clearing out now and again) and mate with subordinate or lone males.

 

She is not, however, part of the pack and must therefore be particularly alert to predators and ready to either fight or flee at any time, without relying on packmates for assistance. Additionally as she is often mistaken for a predatory female (see later description) - or, indeed may actually be/become a predatory female, she sometimes gets caught up in fights. Several lone males and females might join together and attempt to form some sort of makeshift pack of their own for protection...but these groups tend to be disorganised and useless affairs - comprised, as they are, of the kind of individuals who are ineffective in both the dominant and the subordinate role.

 

Predatory female. Along with the alphafemale, this is the wannabe alphamale's partner's most feared and hated rival. As the predatory female slinks and schmoozes sexily within the scattered group of lone males and females, all lone females fall under suspicion of being predators. At times (generally coinciding with the full moon) when the group is particularly nervous and risk-conscious, tensions can mount...but frequently lead to a stand off then fizzle out. In the following sketch, a group of predatory females attempted to bait and attack what they thought was a wannabe alphamale's partner - but what was, in fact, an alphafemale:

 

 

Onto your original question, Mary3. The mellow, non troublemaking women become vegetarians. Unlike the alphafemale, they are not equipped to slay wild chickens with their bare hands for food...and unlike the wannabe alphamale's partner, they cannot rely on a male to bring home mammoths. Even if they did, because the mellow, non troublemaking women are too lazy to cook, the mammoth would be left untouched.

 

Nuts and berries are simple to gather and do not require any particular hunting skills or male assistance. However, omniverous predators will watch these peaceful berry-gathering activities with interest...and launch joyously virulent attacks on occasion. Therefore even the mellow, non troublemaking woman must be ready to sharpen her claws if necessary.

 

** IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ** This post is intended for entertainment purposes only, and is not to be construed as serious commentary, damn it.

[Mary3]

If it were Caveman times : I would be the female seducing the hot caveman into the cave. ( much like today , lol )

 

I would run from the drama queen cavewomen ( like I do now ) and try to keep peace.

 

Sometimes a catty female cavewoman might stop by my cave and tell me some juicy tidbits about another cavewoman. Depending on my mood, I might listen and then stick my 2 cents in. But thats only for the venemous female bee~atches that have irked me otherwise I avoid most drama

[vintagecat]

1. Alpha woman. In charge of the pack. Whichever mate she selects will probably need to be in charge of his own separate pack.

 

Pretty much sums up our household succinctly.

[J2FT1]

Women are catty because they fight with emotion. So the feelings stay with them. Guys fight with logic, so if holding a grudge against someone isn't beneficial, he will stop.

 

A woman who calls another woman "loose" is a bigger blow to their relationship than a guy punching another guy.

[paddington bear]

I think there's a whole verbal world out there that women are aware of and men generally aren't. I've been in situations, say over dinner, where subtle nasty cattiness, stinging comments made with a smile have gone totally over men's heads - wasn't so and so, a really nice woman they say whereas I am seething inside.

 

Cattiness is often a very subtle mix of looks, how things are said - nasty insinuations are often implied but in such a way that if you challenge the other girl you look like the bitch. It's a complex and horrible game and one I try not to indulge in.

 

Here's a brief conversation between me and my former best friend:

me: God I hate my upper arms, but it's so warm out, but I don't dare wear a vest and show them to the world

her: Oh don't worry, just wear the vest, no one will see the cellulite on your arms.

me: (thinks, crikey I didn't even know I had cellulite on my arms, I just thought they were a bit fat)

 

In one of the Bridget Jones movies - the scene where Bridgett meets another woman and all the jellyfish stings are clocked up with each nasty comment made.

 

Why? Insecurity.

[daphne]

I used to believe that cattiness in women was just another sexist label created by men, made for women. But years later, and lots and lots of battle scratches received from jealous and competitive women, I beg to differ. Men can be catty as well, I've seen it plenty. But it's nothing like the brutality of women, many of whom never advance past a high school, cliquish, bullying and jealous mentality. I've also noticed that the heavier or less attractive women tend to be the worst at it.

 

In regards to some of the women on loveshack, I've seen it often lately. I noticed that a few have actually responded to this thread and I don't think they are self aware enough to notice what they're doing is wrong. I think the justification is that tough love will help out the weak woman in distress.

I liken them to this video:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS9odVqyC2g&NR=1

[vonerik012]

I know, I noticed the same thing.

 

The women claiming women are not "catty" treat other women in a catty manner on the same thread, lol.

[Virgo1982]

I used to believe that cattiness in women was just another sexist label created by men, made for women. But years later, and lots and lots of battle scratches received from jealous and competitive women, I beg to differ. Men can be catty as well, I've seen it plenty. But it's nothing like the brutality of women, many of whom never advance past a high school, cliquish, bullying and jealous mentality. I've also noticed that the heavier or less attractive women tend to be the worst at it.

 

In regards to some of the women on loveshack, I've seen it often lately. I noticed that a few have actually responded to this thread and I don't think they are self aware enough to notice what they're doing is wrong. I think the justification is that tough love will help out the weak woman in distress.

I liken them to this video:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS9odVqyC2g&NR=1

 

Great clip and it is completely accurate. Less attractive women are an easy target because physical appearance is the most obvious attack. No need to use the shovel when you can dig with a toothpick.

[daphne]

I know, I noticed the same thing.

 

The women claiming women are not "catty" treat other women in a catty manner on the same thread, lol.

 

I'm pleading dumb on this. Don't want to get into any more trouble than I probably already am..

[Virgo1982]

It's very possible they don't want to be led and prefer to lead or interact in a particular fashion. I guess you have to look at yourself and whomever you're attempting to interact with, to see if you can't find common ground. It doesn't always have to be battle grounds drawn, regardless if your opinions differ. As an example, LS: Sometimes debates or disagreements happen within one thread that really doesn't have to be dragged to other threads.

 

If all else fails, instead of battle lines, avoid each other with civility.

 

I tend to take each situation, examine the facts, then proceed. I can't bother with being catty because it's wasted energy. The problem comes in when some women feel the need to be catty, subtle, and underhanded. Where are their balls? Oh, thats right...

 

I don't think being a sly bitch earns you the title of strong woman. I think it takes a strong woman to be real about her feelings. I think a strong woman would be able to socialize with another woman without trying to find faults to make herself feel better. I think it takes a strong woman to know when she's wrong and admit it.

 

Anyway, I am referring to women I interact with IRL. In another thread, I remember agreeing with that statement: disagreements or debates in other threads do not have to be dragged into other threads. I can't see myself disagreeing with something I agree with just to "win" some non-existent battle.

 

The fact of the matter is, whether a suspected misogynist says it or not, some women do exhibit catty behavior. Calling him a misogynist and referring to his other posts is kinda like bringing beef from another thread into this one, but I don't know the complete story. This thread didn't ask if he was a misogynist or why men were catty. So, either I'm or your ...

 

If you weren't in a disagreement with Von before this thread, please accept my apology in advance.

[Trialbyfire]

I tend to take each situation, examine the facts, then proceed. I can't bother with being catty because it's wasted energy. The problem comes in when some women feel the need to be catty, subtle, and underhanded. Where are their balls? Oh, thats right...

 

I don't think being a sly bitch earns you the title of strong woman. I think it takes a strong woman to be real about her feelings. I think a strong woman would be able to socialize with another woman without trying to find faults to make herself feel better. I think it takes a strong woman to know when she's wrong and admit it.

 

Anyway, I am referring to women I interact with IRL. In another thread, I remember agreeing with that statement: disagreements or debates in other threads do not have to be dragged into other threads. I can't see myself disagreeing with something I agree with just to "win" some non-existent battle.

 

The fact of the matter is, whether a suspected misogynist says it or not, some women do exhibit catty behavior. Calling him a misogynist and referring to his other posts is kinda like bringing beef from another thread into this one, but I don't know the complete story. This thread didn't ask if he was a misogynist or why men were catty. So, either I'm or your ...

 

If you weren't in a disagreement with Von before this thread, please accept my apology in advance.

I'm . What has von got to do with my comments to you?

[Trialbyfire]

Actually, this thread does illustrate cattiness!

[Virgo1982]

I'm . What has von got to do with my comments to you?

 

A lot.

 

I think I've made my point and you made your point clear before. So, I'd like to move on from that now.

[Trialbyfire]

A lot.

 

I think I've made my point and you made your point clear before. So, I'd like to move on from that now.

If you're going to make a point, you can at least be clear and direct. I'd like you to expand on that, otherwise, it appears to me that it's a form of cattiness.

[Virgo1982]

If you're going to make a point, you can at least be clear and direct. I'd like you to expand on that, otherwise, it appears to me that it's a form of cattiness.

 

I can not tell you how to see it. I only know my intentions. Catty women never say, "Were you being catty with me?" or "Ah, you got me. I was being a bytch to you." Instead, they might make an indirect statement like, "It sure smells like cat around here," or, "you are completely oblivious." If I say I was not being catty and just pointing out an inconsistency, you could either continue thinking my statement appears to be a form of cattiness or you could believe I actually feel like we both made our points known. I don't know what's going to happen, but here are the facts:

 

1. I posted a comment which was not directed toward you

2. You responded to my comment

3. I responded to your reply

4. I did not feel the need for further expression.

[Trialbyfire]

I can not tell you how to see it. I only know my intentions. Catty women never say, "Were you being catty with me?" or "Ah, you got me. I was being a bytch to you." Instead, they might make an indirect statement like, "It sure smells like cat around here," or, "you are completely oblivious." If I say I was not being catty and just pointing out an inconsistency, you could either continue thinking my statement appears to be a form of cattiness or you could believe I actually feel like we both made our points known. I don't know what's going to happen, but here are the facts:

 

1. I posted a comment which was not directed toward you

2. You responded to my comment

3. I responded to your reply

4. I did not feel the need for further expression.

Actually...

 

1. You posted a comment that was completely directed at me with the von reference.

2. I questioned your comment.

3. Of which you chose to not expand on and then attempted a control move.

4. Of which you still haven't responded on beyond manipulating what was posted.

 

This strikes me as catty or passive-aggressive, whatever gender related desciptive you want to call it.

[Virgo1982]

Actually...

 

1. You posted a comment that was completely directed at me with the von reference.

2. I questioned your comment.

3. Of which you chose to not expand on and then attempted a control move.

4. Of which you still haven't responded on beyond manipulating what was posted.

 

This strikes me as catty or passive-aggressive, whatever gender related desciptive you want to call it.

 

The original post you responded to was not directed toward you. My response to your reply was directed toward you.