More "guy weekend" b.s.

[Trialbyfire]

Lauriebelle, stop with this attitude. You make a deal, you stick to it. If you want to give him more room than originally promised, it's all good but you have to give him the initial agreed upon time promised too.

 

You're now getting into some dangerous turf in your thought process. This is no longer about compromising. You're now solely thinking about you!

[Lauriebell82]

I'm guessing there's a lot of people who buy into the Leykis 101 theory of relationships here....

 

I completely and utterly disagree with the majority opinion here. It's your home too. I cannot understand why anyone thinks it's perfectly acceptable to banish you from your home, your room, your stuff and your regular life for 3 days so your BF can have a drunken sausage fest with guys who seem to really not want to have any interaction with you at all. They should get a hotel. Your house isn't a frat house and I think that most of the "you're being possessive/drama/sufficating" are very young adults who have a MTV view of relationships.

 

My fiance would NEVER in a MILLION years ask me to leave our home so he and his buddies could go on a bender. They would go to Vegas or Mexico or somewhere for a guy's weekend out because he and his friends are grown men who have the income to do so and understand that a request liek that is not only stupid but really immature.

 

At least somebody agrees with me! thank you.

[Lauriebell82]

Lauriebelle, stop with this attitude. You make a deal, you stick to it. If you want to give him more room than originally promised, it's all good but you have to give him the initial agreed upon time promised too.

 

You're now getting into some dangerous turf in your thought process. This is no longer about compromising. You're now solely thinking about you!

 

Then I have to tell my friend I can't go out with her then and spend the night sitting in my parent's house. That is going to make me feel miserable and i don't want to do that. I'm thinking of myself, yes. But I'm still thinking about him by giving him space. I'm actually giving him more now.

 

He's been thinking about himself this whole weekend,.

[Trialbyfire]

Then I have to tell my friend I can't go out with her then and spend the night sitting in my parent's house. That is going to make me feel miserable and i don't want to do that. I'm thinking of myself, yes. But I'm still thinking about him by giving him space. I'm actually giving him more now.

 

He's been thinking about himself this whole weekend,.

What's stopping you from spending both nights at your parents place or one on the couch at your sister's place?

[Lauriebell82]

What's stopping you from spending both nights at your parents place or one on the couch at your sister's place?

 

My sister is only 21 and is living at my parents for the summer before going back to college. She has plans Saturday night, therefore I would be sitting in my house bored with my parents all night instead of out having fun with my friend.

[Nevermind]

Our apartment is fairly big so it's not like I'll hear them screaming or anything.

 

You will hear them. Unless your appartment ist 1000 m², you'll hear them.

 

He's been thinking about himself this whole weekend,.

 

Which was why many people sided with you and told you to not be a doormat. You can't just make it bad when he thinks about himself, but all fun when you do the same. It doesn't work that way. Be responsible if you want him to be the same. Stick to your promises and plans.

 

He made those plans during a time when you didn't live together, but you are changing plans mere days before it's supposed to go off.

 

But I'm still thinking about him by giving him space. I'm actually giving him more now.

 

You are trying to tell yourself that you're doing the best for him, but the truth is: you are not.

[Star Gazer]

Lauriebelle, stop with this attitude. You make a deal, you stick to it. If you want to give him more room than originally promised, it's all good but you have to give him the initial agreed upon time promised too.

 

You're now getting into some dangerous turf in your thought process. This is no longer about compromising. You're now solely thinking about you!

 

Agreed, with the exception that she's been solely thinking about herself the ENTIRE TIME.

[Trialbyfire]

My sister is only 21 and is living at my parents for the summer before going back to college. She has plans Saturday night, therefore I would be sitting in my house bored with my parents all night instead of out having fun with my friend.

Laurie, if you're deliberately trying to sabotage your relationship over petty harboured grievances AFTER you've come to a compromised solution, this is the way to do it. This is the type of behaviour that men complain about all the time. Women and their emotional inconsistency.

 

Rise above it. You can't ink a deal then attempt to renegotiate at the 24th hour. You just can't. This is really, really selfish and controlling behaviour.

 

STOP IT!

[vedderbetter]

Why should she have to sleep on a couch somewhere instead of at home in her own bed? Why should she have to make all the effort of accommodating these increasingly asinine requests?

 

I don't get why everyone seems to think that her BF's desire to drink a lot of booze and act like a drunken crass buffoon with a bunch of immature animals supercedes her right to be in HER OWN HOME.

[Star Gazer]

You will hear them. Unless your appartment ist 1000 m², you'll hear them.

 

Even in a 4 bedroom HOUSE you'd hear these guys. They're gonna be drunk, and wanting to have FUN. Be comfortable, laugh, goof around. With "the girlfriend" in the house, the won't be able to do that.

 

Which was why many people sided with you and told you to not be a doormat. You can't just make it bad when he thinks about himself, but all fun when you do the same. It doesn't work that way. Be responsible if you want him to be the same. Stick to your promises and plans.

 

LB wants it both ways. She wants to be able to think about herself, and she wants him to think about her.

 

He made those plans during a time when you didn't live together, but you are changing plans mere days before it's supposed to go off.

 

She's actually changing the plans HOURS before it's supposed to go down.

[Trialbyfire]

Agreed, with the exception that she's been solely thinking about herself the ENTIRE TIME.

Yes and no. She did make an effort to come to a compromise. They agreed with buy in from both sides. The deal was inked.

[Star Gazer]

Laurie, if you're deliberately trying to sabotage your relationship over petty harboured grievances AFTER you've come to a compromised solution, this is the way to do it. This is the type of behaviour that men complain about all the time. Women and their emotional inconsistency.

 

Rise above it. You can't ink a deal then attempt to renegotiate at the 24th hour. You just can't. This is really, really selfish and controlling behaviour.

STOP IT!

 

Amen!!!!!

 

This is seriously getting ree-dick-you-lus.

[Star Gazer]

Yes and no. She did make an effort to come to a compromise. They agreed with buy in from both sides. The deal was inked.

 

True, but I don't believe she ever had any intention of following through with that deal.

[Nevermind]

vedder: because she made a deal.

 

Now this is all about getting as much out of it for herself as possible. Yet before, the selfishness of her boyfriend was critizised. You can't have it both ways.

 

It's extremely self-absorbed and very childish.

[Star Gazer]

Why should she have to sleep on a couch somewhere instead of at home in her own bed? Why should she have to make all the effort of accommodating these increasingly asinine requests?

 

I don't get why everyone seems to think that her BF's desire to drink a lot of booze and act like a drunken crass buffoon with a bunch of immature animals supercedes her right to be in HER OWN HOME.

 

We've moved far beyond that in two other threads.

 

Once you make a deal, regardless of whether or not it's reasonable, you stick to it. To change it hours before it's supposed to go down is manipulative, controlling, and very selfish. And....bratty.

[Lauriebell82]

She's actually changing the plans HOURS before it's supposed to go down.

 

No, actually it was 2 days ago that I told him about it. I told him again yesterday.

[Trialbyfire]

No, actually it was 2 days ago that I told him about it. I told him again yesterday.

I'm bolding this for effect.

[Lauriebell82]

True, but I don't believe she ever had any intention of following through with that deal.

 

Not true. If my friend/sister hadn't changed plans I would have stuck to the original one no doubt about it. Sheesh.

[Nevermind]

You told him? As in, you let him know what you're going to do with no consideration to wether or not this is causing problems for him?

 

 

How...considerate.

[Touche]

My plans changed. Therefore I tried to find a way that I could still give him space and go out with my friends too. I how it may sound, but I really want to have my own life too. Not even for him, but for myself. I really hate feeling like i'm dependent on someone else.

 

I don't understand LB. What does that last part have to do with any of this?

 

And now I get that your plans changed, but his didn't. I think you should stick to the original agreement even if it's not the best thing for you. I mean this was resolved. Why rock the boat?

 

But I'm looking at the big picture here. If something like this can throw you both off like this, it doesn't bode well for the future success of this relationship.

 

Look at the big picture here.

[Trialbyfire]

Not true. If my friend/sister hadn't changed plans I would have stuck to the original one no doubt about it. Sheesh.

The deal is between you and the b/f. How can you complain about his friends' behaviour when you're allowing other people to affect your inked deal?

[Lauriebell82]

You told him? As in, you let him know what you're going to do with no consideration to wether or not this is causing problems for him? How...considerate.

 

 

Seriously are you guys just tearing apart everything I say now???? WTF?!

 

Told as in TOLD that the plans had changed. ASKED if we could come up with some other kind of arrangement. ASSSKKKEDDD...

[Nevermind]

So, your sister changed her plans. That doesn't mean that you need to change yours. If your friends had told the bf that they'll come next weekend, you would have thrown a tantrum had he "told" you that it would mean a change of plans.

[Lauriebell82]

okay I'm done. Argue amongst yourselves not with me. I can't keep up.

[Star Gazer]

No, actually it was 2 days ago that I told him about it. I told him again yesterday.

 

Honestly, big whop. Doesn't change the fact that you're deliberately changing your plans now.

 

SO WHAT that YOUR plans changed and now it might be more inconvenient for your friend to drive a little bit farther to pick you up/drop you off from your parents' house. That's YOUR problem now, not your BF's. Your BF has friends coming in from OUT OF TOWN. You already AGREED to a COMPROMISE where you would NOT be there tomorrow night, AT ALL. Now you're changing YOUR mind to what suits YOU better regardless of the fact that YOU made an agreement that made BOTH of you fairly happy.

 

Go ahead and sabotage your relationship, LB. Like Touche said, you're making a bit to-do about nothing, and causing unnecessary drama.

 

You're only thinking of yourself right now. Mark my words, but if you keep this stuff up, I guarantee we'll be seeing you in the break-up forum in less than 6 months.