More "guy weekend" b.s.

[endlesstrains]

I think JB and SG are overreacting by calling you a "princess" and thinking you should give into every single demand of your BF without even thinking about it, but in reality you DO seem to be making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Your BF is trying to plan his weekend to make his friends the most happy and you keep changing plans on him and making it difficult. There is no need to create drama. Your BF is being somewhat insensitive but now is not the time to deal with it... talk to him AFTER the weekend is over. Just give him his space and let him have fun with the boys for now. You are only going to make things worse by constantly going in and out of the apartment and getting upset whenever a small detail changes.

[Lauriebell82]

I can see that you are giving him stress over this also.

 

What a stressful weekend.

 

And you are going to be there in the apt the whole time, just going "in and out" for a little bit each time.

 

No, my parents for most of it, then going out with my friend. But yeah I will be in and out..he doesn't care if I'm there, he just wants to do their guy stuff. I won't bother them so I don't care.

[Lauriebell82]

I think JB and SG are overreacting by calling you a "princess" and thinking you should give into every single demand of your BF without even thinking about it, but in reality you DO seem to be making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Your BF is trying to plan his weekend to make his friends the most happy and you keep changing plans on him and making it difficult. There is no need to create drama. Your BF is being somewhat insensitive but now is not the time to deal with it... talk to him AFTER the weekend is over. Just give him his space and let him have fun with the boys for now. You are only going to make things worse by constantly going in and out of the apartment and getting upset whenever a small detail changes.

 

I dont have anywhere else to stay except my parent's all weekend, and that is NOT an option.

[Lizzie60]

I think JB and SG are overreacting by calling you a "princess" and thinking you should give into every single demand of your BF without even thinking about it, but in reality you DO seem to be making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Your BF is trying to plan his weekend to make his friends the most happy and you keep changing plans on him and making it difficult. There is no need to create drama. Your BF is being somewhat insensitive but now is not the time to deal with it... talk to him AFTER the weekend is over. Just give him his space and let him have fun with the boys for now. You are only going to make things worse by constantly going in and out of the apartment and getting upset whenever a small detail changes.

 

Best post so far ... best advice too! well said.. it's too late to deal with your bf..

 

BUT you need to address those 'weekend guy thing' asap... he is disrespectful and if he wants to be a bachelor again.. then he needs to tell you..

 

I still think that you will always let him have his way but you will just make it difficult for him.. then he'll get tired of it.. and leave..

 

I think he should have remain single for a little longer.. I don't think he's ready to live with someone..

[Jilly Bean]

I think JB and SG are overreacting by calling you a "princess"

 

I never called her a princess. Please do not misquote me like this.

 

LB - I know you have said that time with Mom and Dad isn't the most exciting thing, but couldn't you go and look at it like it's extra credit for your degree? You know, like figuring out all their issues?

 

Just a thought. I still think being around as little as possible will be the best thing for all concerned.

 

As my Mom always says, "we hold people closest, when we hold them at arms length".

[Lauriebell82]

Best post so far ... best advice too! well said.. it's too late to deal with your bf..

 

BUT you need to address those 'weekend guy thing' asap... he is disrespectful and if he wants to be a bachelor again.. then he needs to tell you..

 

I still think that you will always let him have his way but you will just make it difficult for him.. then he'll get tired of it.. and leave..

 

I think he should have remain single for a little longer.. I don't think he's ready to live with someone..

 

He doesn't want to be a bachelor he told me so. And he loves living together, he said he wouldnt know what to do without me. I don't think that is b.s. either.

 

I re-read everyone's posts and I thought that maybe I will just stay at my parents tonight and then tomorrow I will go work out at the gym over by them (I am still a member) before the party and then drive there from my parents. I do want to come back to my apt after the party, the reason being is because it would be a ton of driving and a ton of gas to drive from my aunt's house back to my parents and then back out here again.

 

i actually need to be at my apt for my friend to pick me up anyway, because she lives 10 minutes away and the bar is 5 minutes from my apt. And I really don't want to make her drive me across the city at 2 am. I doubt anyone will care if I'm in my room at 2 am.

 

So there is my compromise. Then I won't be "in and out" all the time.

[carhill]

Sometimes the most innocent of things can be pivotal moments. I've followed but not commented on this. It is an example of such, IMO. I could tell you what I would do, but that's irrelevant. I wish you the best

[Jersey Shortie]

Well it sounds like you worked it out. Maybe partly the problem was the way he went about asking you..getting huffy and defensive with you. Getting huffy and defensive when requesting something from yoru partner doesn't work on men or women for that matter.

 

Guys need down time and he probably didn't want you see him being a crude jerk with his buddies. Although I admit that I get curious about what guys talk about during "guy time".

 

And if you ever want a girl weekend, you can ask him to leave without feeling guilty now.

[Trialbyfire]

LB, the two of you came to a compromise which you need to stick to. Any amendments or renegotiations will be seen by your b/f as threatening and more drama. Don't push him anymore.

 

I still strongly believe that you needed to stick to your guns at the beginning, so he understood that his disrespectful actions weren't acceptable. No one should ever be tossed out of their apartment without buy in.

[Lauriebell82]

Guys need down time and he probably didn't want you see him being a crude jerk with his buddies. Although I admit that I get curious about what guys talk about during "guy time".

 

REALLY nasty stuff. My bf's friend started to tell me a little bit of what they talk about it and it was so crude and gross that I just cut him off and walked away. Ick.

[Lauriebell82]

LB, the two of you came to a compromise which you need to stick to. Any amendments or renegotiations will be seen by your b/f as threatening and more drama. Don't push him anymore.

 

I still strongly believe that you needed to stick to your guns at the beginning, so he understood that his disrespectful actions weren't acceptable. No one should ever be tossed out of their apartment without buy in.

 

Yeah, I'm not going to push him, I'll just let it go. We had a talk about it and everything is cool, that is what makes us a good couple when we do have disagreements or issues that come up we can work them out.

 

Like AC said, living together isn't easy, I think it's an adjustment for both of us, esp. him since this is the first time he has lived with anyone.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah, I'm not going to push him, I'll just let it go. We had a talk about it and everything is cool, that is what makes us a good couple when we do have disagreements or issues that come up we can work them out.

 

Like AC said, living together isn't easy, I think it's an adjustment for both of us, esp. him since this is the first time he has lived with anyone.

Good. Btw, no more changes, upgrades, amendments or discussions. Just let the weekend happen smoothly now.

[nicki]

I understand why you were thinking of eating pizza with them. You thought you would make nice, say hi, connect with the friends for a few minutes, then make yourself scarce.

 

Heck, you live there. If you give them their space, that's great and that's what you should do, BUT, it shouldn't put you out so much that you can't come in and out of the apartment to change, get clothes, etc.

 

I say it's like you guys are married and his friends are coming to visit you both. I doubt a lot of married women would "get lost" for the whole weekend so her husband could entertain his buddies.

 

In that case, it would be more a mix of alone time with the guys while you go out shopping or to dinner, and some together time of a shared meal.

 

If your guy wants a full alone weekend with the guys, he should wait for you to either go out of town or go out of town with them on a golf trip or something.

 

Your plans sound like you are trying to give your boyfriend space. That's a good compromise!

[Lauriebell82]

I understand why you were thinking of eating pizza with them. You thought you would make nice, say hi, connect with the friends for a few minutes, then make yourself scarce.

 

Heck, you live there. If you give them their space, that's great and that's what you should do, BUT, it shouldn't put you out so much that you can't come in and out of the apartment to change, get clothes, etc.

 

I say it's like you guys are married and his friends are coming to visit you both. I doubt a lot of married women would "get lost" for the whole weekend so her husband could entertain his buddies.

 

In that case, it would be more a mix of alone time with the guys while you go out shopping or to dinner, and some together time of a shared meal.

 

If your guy wants a full alone weekend with the guys, he should wait for you to either go out of town or go out of town with them on a golf trip or something.

 

Your plans sound like you are trying to give your boyfriend space. That's a good compromise!

 

Yeah, it is like we are married..but we aren't. Therefore I suppose there are restrictions because I'm just his "gf". Which means he isnt ready to get married. Okay, well I already knew that's how he felt when we moved in together.

It's interesting that one of the guys in this group backed out of coming on the trip..the only one out of them who is in a serious relationship...

[carhill]

It's interesting that one of the guys in this group backed out of coming on the trip..the only one out of them who is in a serious relationship...

 

Beyond interesting....telling...

 

Oh, BTW, regarding that nasty stuff "guys" talk about during "guy time"..... Those are boys, not men. I've sat in on enough sessions to know. I find a lot of it offensive and juvenile and I'm a man

[Star Gazer]

LB, the two of you came to a compromise which you need to stick to. Any amendments or renegotiations will be seen by your b/f as threatening and more drama. Don't push him anymore.

 

Yes, the ORIGINAL compromise where you agreed to stay at your parents' house tomorrow night. DO NOT GO HOME TOMORROW NIGHT. They WILL feel invaded.

[Lauriebell82]

Yes, the ORIGINAL compromise where you agreed to stay at your parents' house tomorrow night. DO NOT GO HOME TOMORROW NIGHT. They WILL feel invaded.

 

Then I can't go out with my friend if I do that. Plans got switched on me because my friend just found out she could hang out and it could only be on Saturday and my sister could only hang out tonight. So it got all switched around.

 

I think they would feel more invaded if I was there tonight like I originally planned though. Why would they feel invaded if I came in at 2 am and went to bed? They will all be passed out and won't even know I came in.

[Touche]

You know I'm so confused now about all of this. There was an original agreement, all was well and then this...I'm not sure what's going on but to me here's the problem:

 

Much ado about nuthin'. I mean if a thing like this causes so much drama, how will you guys handle the more important issues? This worries me for you.

 

It seems you do end up resolving things to everyone's satisfaction but in the meantime there's a lot of angst and insults, etc.

 

I thought this one was resolved. I don't really understand what changed. Too confusing to me.

[Nevermind]

2 am is not that late, so they might not be asleep. Also, with all that plan changing are you sure, you're not going to be back at midnight? And being by the pool for an hour isn't being out of the way either.

 

I reread your threads and I agree with the above: you had a compromise. Stick to it. You can only weaken your position by going back and forth all the time.

[Lauriebell82]

You know I'm so confused now about all of this. There was an original agreement, all was well and then this...I'm not sure what's going on but to me here's the problem:

 

Much ado about nuthin'. I mean if a thing like this causes so much drama, how will you guys handle the more important issues? This worries me for you.

 

It seems you do end up resolving things to everyone's satisfaction but in the meantime there's a lot of angst and insults, etc.

 

I thought this one was resolved. I don't really understand what changed. Too confusing to me.

 

My plans changed. Therefore I tried to find a way that I could still give him space and go out with my friends too. I how it may sound, but I really want to have my own life too. Not even for him, but for myself. I really hate feeling like i'm dependent on someone else.

[Nevermind]

Having your own life should not compromise your promises. You seemed hurt in the other thread that he wanted to be alone the entire weekend, so essentially living his own life. Yet you boycott the agreement you had for the exact same reason. That's double standard.

[vedderbetter]

I'm guessing there's a lot of people who buy into the Leykis 101 theory of relationships here....

 

I completely and utterly disagree with the majority opinion here. It's your home too. I cannot understand why anyone thinks it's perfectly acceptable to banish you from your home, your room, your stuff and your regular life for 3 days so your BF can have a drunken sausage fest with guys who seem to really not want to have any interaction with you at all. They should get a hotel. Your house isn't a frat house and I think that most of the "you're being possessive/drama/sufficating" are very young adults who have a MTV view of relationships.

 

My fiance would NEVER in a MILLION years ask me to leave our home so he and his buddies could go on a bender. They would go to Vegas or Mexico or somewhere for a guy's weekend out because he and his friends are grown men who have the income to do so and understand that a request liek that is not only stupid but really immature.

[Lauriebell82]

2 am is not that late, so they might not be asleep. Also, with all that plan changing are you sure, you're not going to be back at midnight? And being by the pool for an hour isn't being out of the way either.

 

I reread your threads and I agree with the above: you had a compromise. Stick to it. You can only weaken your position by going back and forth all the time.

 

Well, it's weird though that I would actually be there MORE if we stuck to our original compromise, then what my plans are now.

 

I want to go out both nights. I already made plans with both my sister and friend and want to ditch out on them. He wants me to have a life so I'm getting one instead of sit in my room and mope.

 

We aren't going out until like 10 so oh yeah we'll be out until 2 am. I don't care if they are still up either I'll just go in our room and watch dvds until I fall asleep. They can do what they want in the living room. Our apartment is fairly big so it's not like I'll hear them screaming or anything.

[Lauriebell82]

I'm guessing there's a lot of people who buy into the Leykis 101 theory of relationships here....

 

I completely and utterly disagree with the majority opinion here. It's your home too. I cannot understand why anyone thinks it's perfectly acceptable to banish you from your home, your room, your stuff and your regular life for 3 days so your BF can have a drunken sausage fest with guys who seem to really not want to have any interaction with you at all. They should get a hotel. Your house isn't a frat house and I think that most of the "you're being possessive/drama/sufficating" are very young adults who have a MTV view of relationships.

 

My fiance would NEVER in a MILLION years ask me to leave our home so he and his buddies could go on a bender. They would go to Vegas or Mexico or somewhere for a guy's weekend out because he and his friends are grown men who have the income to do so and understand that a request liek that is not only stupid but really immature.

 

Yeah no kidding. My bf didn't even plan this crap, his best friend did. And I think my bf is to chicken to tell them they can't come because his gf disaproves. They are going to Las Vegas in like 6 weeks or something and forking out a lot of money so thats why they are using our apt as a crash pad. I don't know why they have to have both an unbachelor party and a bachelor party within like 6 weeks times.

[Lauriebell82]

My fiance would NEVER in a MILLION years ask me to leave our home so he and his buddies could go on a bender. They would go to Vegas or Mexico or somewhere for a guy's weekend out because he and his friends are grown men who have the income to do so and understand that a request liek that is not only stupid but really immature.

 

His friends are VERY immature, hense why they don't have gfs themselves. They have that effect on my bf too so he acts like they do when he is around them. He's so much different when he is with me then when he is with them.