Author underpants Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 I saw that 'Good Girls Don't Poop' on a t-shirt once. I think it speaks to my situational constipation problems. I will be sure to report when and if, I get comfortable enough in this relationship to go...big potty.
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Nitty is so right. You're misrepresenting yourself now. Look at all the threads on here about people saying they're mates changed...that they're not who they first portrayed themselves to be. You don't want that. You must open up and let him know that you poop! Good communication (and a bad sense of smell) is KEY to any good relationship. Thanks Touche and I'm glad you agreed. I was worried that my honesty could have been a relationship problem that I wasn't aware of.
Replicant Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I will be sure to report when and if, I get comfortable enough in this relationship to go...big potty. So it's all going to come out when it's time for the exclusivity discussion!?
Florida Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Warning: graphic content: 1)Run water to cover sound 2) Place folded toilet paper in bowl to cover up any "impact" sounds, if you want to be a real pro you can have your hand cupped strategically under to catch and deposit into water (WITH THE TOILET PAPER FOLDED TO COVER HAND!!) 3)Have back arm curled around ready to flush the instant exit is made 4)Have matches handy, light a few and put out immediately. 5) Leave bathroom with a natural gait, nothing to be ashamed of! Operation poo is successful.
White Flower Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Warning: graphic content: 1)Run water to cover sound 2) Place folded toilet paper in bowl to cover up any "impact" sounds, if you want to be a real pro you can have your hand cupped strategically under to catch and deposit into water (WITH THE TOILET PAPER FOLDED TO COVER HAND!!) 3)Have back arm curled around ready to flush the instant exit is made 4)Have matches handy, light a few and put out immediately. 5) Leave bathroom with a natural gait, nothing to be ashamed of! Operation poo is successful. Florida, you could work for the CIA... I always use extra toilet seat covers at work.
johan Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I prefer to date women who only pee. Or if they do the other, it must not stink. That's a hard and fast rule of mine.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Warning: graphic content: 1)Run water to cover sound 2) Place folded toilet paper in bowl to cover up any "impact" sounds, if you want to be a real pro you can have your hand cupped strategically under to catch and deposit into water (WITH THE TOILET PAPER FOLDED TO COVER HAND!!) 3)Have back arm curled around ready to flush the instant exit is made 4)Have matches handy, light a few and put out immediately. 5) Leave bathroom with a natural gait, nothing to be ashamed of! Operation poo is successful. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
Ariadne Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I prefer to date women who only pee. (And make sure her hands have just been washed once she's done).
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 (And make sure her hands have just been washed once she's done). :lmao:.............. Now that I think about it, there have been guys I've dated before that never seemed to poop? Oh, say it isn't soooo! I had no idea people went to such links...
johan Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I had no idea people went to such links... I'm trying to figure out the pun...
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I'm trying to figure out the pun... Reread Florida's post.
Art_Critic Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I had no idea people went to such links... Do you mean lengths instead of links ?
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Do you mean lengths instead of links ? Well, of course! Duh! Sorry about that...
Author underpants Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 Florida, You are my hero. A master.
Storyrider Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I once did a four-day road trip from the northeast all the way to Texas without pooping once. I was stuck with my newly ex-boyfriend who had dissed me for a female congressional intern in DC, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing yet another one of my inferiorities--that I poop. I felt so backed up by the time I got home.
D-Lish Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Whenever I am dating someone new- I know I am in for a lot of tummy aches. You're just always holding things in. The problem with sleep overs... it that sometimes when you are sleeping you are just so relaxed.... ooops. excuse me. Coffee doesn't make me go right away- usually takes a couple hours. Switch to Decaf? lol.
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Women don't poop, we get vacation butt. I think its okay for women to poop. It just can't stink. My poop rarely has odor and when it does, its either roses or lilacs...
Trialbyfire Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I think its okay for women to poop. It just can't stink. My poop rarely has odor and when it does, its either roses or lilacs... It's not considered proper etiquette to produce fecal matter of any kind. Is it possible you defecate roses or lilacs? There you go unders. Maybe you're just passing lillies, which would make it okay!
Replicant Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 it that sometimes when you are sleeping you are just so relaxed.... ooops. excuse me. All that compressed gas is hazardous. Under the cover of darkness your body's natural release valve had to release all 6 octaves worth it seems! Now surely your boyfriend heard that, and if he was smart there would be nothing said until you were exclusive, then all bets are off. Then you would have deserved a dutch oven.
D-Lish Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 All that compressed gas is hazardous. Under the cover of darkness your body's natural release valve had to release all 6 octaves worth it seems! Now surely your boyfriend heard that, and if he was smart there would be nothing said until you were exclusive, then all bets are off. Then you would have deserved a dutch oven. I don't know if he heard it. It was loud enough to wake me up. I looked at him and he was still snoring (or pretending to...lol).
White Flower Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I prefer to date women who only pee. Or if they do the other, it must not stink. That's a hard and fast rule of mine. LOLOLOLOL!!!
nittygritty Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 It's not considered proper etiquette to produce fecal matter of any kind. Is it possible you defecate roses or lilacs? There you go unders. Maybe you're just passing lillies, which would make it okay! True, it would be rude to do at the table while your drinking coffee together and yes, my fecal matter only consists of roses and lilacs. Underpants's dilemma is actually the pivotal turning point in a relationship. Is he worth the suffering she's willing to go through rather than just spill the beans? I think its a deal breaker if they can't get past it.
White Flower Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Women don't poop, we get vacation butt. I love the vacation butt line. I heard that Jiminy Cricket was one of those euphanisms for Jesus Christ or Jeez or Gosh Darnit so we wouldn't take the Lord's name in vein.
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