When to put my daughter on birth control?

[SeraBella]

 

Being a good parent, even a great parent, guarantees nothing, but thinking about it, even if she were on birth control, I'd still need to be trusting her to take it, which really isn't all that different than trusting her to use condoms.

 

It may not guarantee anything, but gosh, it means A LOT!

 

 

She isn't me, and she's not doomed to repeat my mistakes, and that's something I need to keep reminding myself of, but on the other hand if she did get pregnant it would f*cking kill me. I have no idea how my parents managed to swallow that pill.

 

Maybe it would upset you for awhile, but it wouldn't kill you. Because you love your daughter, and you would accept it. And you would love your grandchild if she chose to keep it.

 

And ask yourself...why WOULD it kill you? Would you think you failed as a parent? That's where the good parenting comes into play.

[Obama08]

She's sure moved around a lot, just like I did as a kid, and just like me I don't think she had a solid sense of what "home" is.

 

She's lived with 4 families in 5 cities now. For a long time she just kept getting handed around. From her Mom and I to my ex's parents, to my Mom, to her Mom and I again, to just her Mom, the back and forth with my ex's parents and my ex a whole lot, then to Me.

 

She may finally be developing that sense of "home" that I always lacked as a child, and in the city that I've come to think of as home, which is nice. She has a big new house, and she'll have a new mother soon, but it's still a lot of baggage for an 8 year old. I can't think of a way things might have worked out better, but yeah, feel a bit responsible.

 

Again it boils down to how young we were when she was born. We were barely employed, much less on any kind of career path, and we were poor. Dirt poor. If we'd had any kind of stability or even a plan things might have been different, but we had to wing it, and maybe we didn't do the best job.

 

I'm rambling now... The point is that yeah, I really, really don't want her getting pregnant, but I recognize I have other things I need to worry about too.

Edited March 11, 2008 by Obama08

[SeraBella]

I'm rambling now... The point is that yeah, I really, really don't want her getting pregnant, but I recognize I have other things I need to worry about too.

 

Those other things are vital to her major life decisions...including sex, protection, drugs, etc. And those other things are likely to have a greater effect on her becoming pregnant early than all of the sex ed you can provide (although, it is still important an there is a time when it's necessary). That's all I was trying to say.

 

I think you've come a long way in the past 8 years, and I think that's great. Keep it up, and just keep her best interests in mind.

[Isabella82]

For me I started to have sex at 15, went on birth control at 16 after a condom broke and I had to take the morning after pill. I was comfortable enough to go to my mom who was always open minded about sex.

 

If you are open about it I am sure she will go to you or her soon to be step mother. I wouldn't put her on the pill when she gets her period. It is not needed.

 

What I would do 100% and some people might not agree with me. Have her get the HPV shot (gerdasal) don't know the spelling. Its a 3 series shot which prevents about 80% of strands of HPV. Which causes cervical cancer which I am sure you know this because of your fiancés profession.

 

But anyways being open to your child about sex is I think a great way to prevent unwanted pregnancy and I am glad to read a very open-minded post.

[Mary3]

That article deals with Teens.. up to 17 years of age.. Your daughter is 8 years old and 5 years from even becoming a teen so that article doesn't really apply to your daughter.

 

5 years is a long time.. why the preoccupation with her becoming pregnant at 8 years of age ?

 

Even is she has her period at 12 that doesn't mean she will have sex and further more I believe that you should concentrate on being a good parent.. a child that has has good parenting about sex and birth control ( at a proper age ) will do alright by herself.

 

Parenting is where the secret lies.. not drugs... How can you really believe that drugs are better than parenting at that age ?.. 15 might be a different story but your daughter is 7 years from 15

 

 

Thank you ! AC......

[Mary3]

Mary3 and I are very different people. Based on her posts I'd venture a guess that she aligns pretty far to the right (correct me if I'm wrong Mary.)

 

She believes that sex should come after marriage, and that marriage should be between one man and one woman (this is her opinion and I respect it) but she feels that those who think differently are wrong, and that they need to be convinced of this error. What's worse, they actually seem happy. Their poor life choices haven't backfired at all. This makes her job that much harder.

 

It's naturally very frustrating for her when people who live their lives on their own terms have children and pass on those values. It's also frustrating that no one else seems to see the horrible errors that these leftists are making. It's very obvious to her how unhealthy is is for everyone involved. If she can convince enough people, maybe the tides will turn, and she won't have to feel so alone. It's hard being a one woman lynch mob.

 

What Mary doesn't understand is that most people, regardless of their own social alignment, give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their own lives. It's a simple courtesy we extend as fellow members of a society.

 

In Mary's mind this is unacceptable. She believes that to admit that people who believe differently than she does are not "wrong" is to weaken the foundation of her own belief system. Therefore she lashes out. It's important for her to prove herself morally superior, so she looks for red herrings or loosely phrased statements that can be turned or twisted.

 

For instance, if someone accepts the reality that very young teens do sometimes have sex, and suggests that rather than condemning the act as "wrong" we present the idea of using contraceptives, that person is a pedophile.

 

It's naturally rather upsetting for the person under attack, but they understand that it isn't really Mary's fault. She's simply defending her fragile belief system the only way she knows how. For her to be right, everyone else must be wrong.

 

I don't expect Mary to change, but it's comforting for me to know that the world is changing. Your average person is pretty accepting these days. Alternative culture is becoming more mainstream everyday. What some believe to be fall of western civilization I see as the first true test of personal freedom since the civil rights movement, and thus far I'm very optimistic.

 

I understand that the ideas I'm presenting may seem somewhat radical, and as we've seen with this thread, I can be wrong. I happily accept my error. I am not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm not an evil person either. Just different.

 

Okay Obama I said I would not address anything but since you directed this to me I have to respond. First of all, LOL , your'e very wrong idea of who I am .

 

I don't align to any Right or Left , I don't have Uncle Sam Posters on my wall, I don't vote , I am considered a Seperatist as I don't follow along with most in many things. I was brought up a Democrat but feel more Liberal at times. Since I don't believe much in the Politicians, I am not much of a Political person.

 

I do not believe that sex should come after marraige. Its only for those out there for whatever religious reasons or personal/ moral beliefs that this works well for them ( and I respect that ).

 

I personally believe that I should know the man intimately and he should Rock my world in bed. For me , the nightmare would be that you do the thing you were told to do ( by your parents or your religion or your own beliefs ) , you married the person and they were horrible in bed. Thats truly frightening to me ....

 

I DO believe though that if you are married ( you know that expensive thing that you paid for and promised to love honor and cherish and let NO Man ~ or in your case, another female playtoy come in between ? ) That you keep cherishing your wife ( in your case ) .

 

I feel this : Strongly : That if a man wants 6 girls this week, then he should be single , not hurting any of them because he makes it clear that he is single and thats the way he likes it. He might be called a Player by some but usually players juggle alot of girls and they may do some not so nice things to juggle them ~~ like maybe lie about one to the other.

 

Couples who are single and like to Swing. I understand this lifestyle . I even visited ( the outside of a Swingers Club ) but it was closed and I never got to peek inside.

 

Couples who have an Open relationship. This one is the where they each can sleep with others , with or without eachother present. This one worries me but maybe only me , because I feel one man is enough for me. It would be too painful to enter a lifestyle where the man I love is having sex with someone , it just is hurtful There are others who feel 2 , 4 or 6 sex partners in a week are enough for them.

 

Actually my job here is quite lovely I like helping people. I try the hardest for those who are in break up situations and the man / woman is still hanging on. I try to show them that NC is the best way to heal. There are subjects on here I can't help with. Subjects that make me laugh. And subjects which scare me...........

 

Do I want to round up all the readers in a Corral and say : Watch out for Obama " ? No. The readers here are pretty intelligent and each one individually will make his or her assessment of how to help you if they can. I am done helping you , remember ?

 

Lets get back to my sex life for a minute.: I have done things I bet you haven't. I have enjoyed some sides of myself that I did not know existed. In that would include Dom/Sub , Roleplay , and a few I won't tell here. I am very, very glad I lived out most of my fantasies. Except one. I have never been with a female. Am I curious ? Absolutely ? I may die curious , lol...

 

I tried a 4 way once ( when I was a teen ) , on a camping trip. My boyfriend switched with my best friend and visa versa. This lasted about 15 seconds ... I got quite disturbed seeing my friend having sex with my boyfriend. I told everyone I had to step away. I felt very uncomfortable. That was my only experience with *switching *.

 

Fantasies : I have fantasies of a man and a woman and me. Its a fantasy that I would be able to control. The man would be someone I cared about and the girl would not be a good friend, just a hot aquaintance . She would be someone not important to my boyfriend and that makes the fantasy more controllable and enjoyable .. Would I feel comfortable with it ? I don't know . I haven't done it. But if it happened this will feel less threatening to me , thus he develop feelings for her.

 

You seem to feel I am this Cave Woman carrying a burning bat chasing you around. Quite the contrary. You have no idea of me , my sexuality , my desires and my drive. Its quite strong but I control it and don't express it here unless I want to chime in from time to time...

 

Actually we all know what a Pedophile is. : We can add to the definition an adult male preoccupied with a prepubescent child . I said you have pedophillic idealistic tendancies. You fixate on the child in an area thats not your concern nor your buisness.

 

You should be worried if she has the right easter sunday dress ( if you guys celebrate that ) You should worry if she gets tickets to Wiggles ( if she likes that ) You should worry if she will be ready with new spring clothes when the spring break ends.

 

Thus we readers here WILL concentrate on the child . As soon as you direct to things (I won't talk about here), we will redirect back ...to remind you she is a child.

 

I have no problem with your lifestyle as long as you always remember your daughter is MORE important than anything else .

[Green]

Well I'm a man, and I have no kids. But its exactly stuff like this that olmost wants to make me want to pray only to have sons, if I ever have kids. From a health prospective you probably shouldn't put your daughter on birth control unless a dr. recomends it or you really think your daughter is at high risk of getting pregnant. Your daughter would be smart to weight until she is an adult before even thinking about having sex. I get the feeling your daughter is going to be having sex at a young age though

[Obama08]

What I would do 100% and some people might not agree with me. Have her get the HPV shot (gerdasal) don't know the spelling. Its a 3 series shot which prevents about 80% of strands of HPV. Which causes cervical cancer which I am sure you know this because of your fiancés profession.

 

Good idea. Check this out->

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080311/ap_on_he_me/teen_stds

 

__________________

 

Thanks Mary. That was a really good post. I feel I've misjudged you. Sorry. Just ease up a bit lady. You gotta admit you're pretty harsh. I know you want to be heard, but a whisper will serve you better than a scream.

Edited March 12, 2008 by Obama08