Is this normal for a step dad to look at a step daughter

[Curmudgeon]

And if you did accidentally see something, you wouldn't be offering to take lie detector tests and locking yourself up in your room all depressed over it and offering to get counseling.

 

Not at all. An accidental glimpse is just that. Seen and put behind us. This was purposeful. Huge difference!

[Citizen Erased]

Damn this struck a chord with me. I moved in with my mother and her partner when I was 15. Let's just say I am well developed and even then was quite used to having men look at me. Well this ******* one night came into my room without knocking. I was getting changed and was wearing a bra and a skirt. He apologized, went out of the room, and then CAME BACK IN! Made out as if he needed to ask me something, but well I don't think my boobs had the answer if you know what I mean.

 

I was already sickened by him, he was an alcoholic, but **** I hated him after this.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Hi, Has any one come accross this??

I have been married 7 years now and my husband is the step dad to my kids. He has been with my kids sense they were small, 10 years. Well I recently cought him trying to look in on my daugher when she was changing. He says there is nothing physical there with her, It was just curiosity. There is no physical attaraction or feelings there he says, The best he could describe was he was curious as to what she looked like. She has really big boobs by the way. And she has no idea this happened.

If this was truely a one time thing. What does anyone think?????

I am devistated, am I over reacting??

Thanks

 

He was curious ?!?! about what!!! Leave this man, he's angling to have sex with your daughter, some father figure he is!

[desertair]

Are any of you christian people? Do not any of you believe he could be telling the truth?? And really doesn't know why he looked? And that our family can be put back together? Yes we know he has problems.

Some of you said a peek is a guy thing. I know not normal with someone as close as a step daughter. But if you have fallen away from god, do none of you think God can fix this and make it better?

Some of you wonder if this is a more frequent problem or if he has looked things up on the net. There is no sign of this at all. And I don't think he would have ever taken it any further than this.

Still doesn't change the fact of what happened I know.

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

And yes, My daughter is my first priority and always will be.

[Lizzie60]

go again...

 

This is exactly the problem with religion...

 

the worst perverts are sometimes the most 'religious'

[tinktronik]

Are any of you christian people? Do not any of you believe he could be telling the truth?? And really doesn't know why he looked? And that our family can be put back together? Yes we know he has problems.

Some of you said a peek is a guy thing. I know not normal with someone as close as a step daughter. But if you have fallen away from god, do none of you think God can fix this and make it better?

Some of you wonder if this is a more frequent problem or if he has looked things up on the net. There is no sign of this at all. And I don't think he would have ever taken it any further than this.

Still doesn't change the fact of what happened I know.

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

And yes, My daughter is my first priority and always will be.

I don't see that it makes a diff. if he is telling the truth!!!! He has VIOLATED your daughter ..YOUR BABY!! It is first and formost your job to protect and see that your children are safe FIRST. I don't care if your daughter is 12 or 40 it is your job as a mother to do these things.

How dare you find some man peeping in on your daughters private places without her knoledge and not do everything in your power to protect her .Who cares about the slime ball you live with. You are putting your own selfish desire to have a relationship before your childs well being. SHAME.

 

Edit: Let me guess he is the major monetary provider in your family.

[PandorasBox]

Are any of you christian people? Do not any of you believe he could be telling the truth?? And really doesn't know why he looked? And that our family can be put back together? Yes we know he has problems.

Some of you said a peek is a guy thing. I know not normal with someone as close as a step daughter. But if you have fallen away from god, do none of you think God can fix this and make it better?

Some of you wonder if this is a more frequent problem or if he has looked things up on the net. There is no sign of this at all. And I don't think he would have ever taken it any further than this.

Still doesn't change the fact of what happened I know.

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

And yes, My daughter is my first priority and always will be.

 

I mean no disrespect here, but you did come here telling your story and asking for adivce/opinons on what others thought, and now it seems when people gave you advice, you are turning the other cheek and making excuses for his behavior. If you orginally thought it was an "accidnet" or that he didn't mean too, then why bother asking in a forum what others think? At some point you had to have thought the behavior was odd, or you wouldn't have asked.

[PandorasBox]

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

 

 

There's more details?

[nittygritty]

Are any of you christian people? Do not any of you believe he could be telling the truth?? And really doesn't know why he looked? And that our family can be put back together? Yes we know he has problems.

Some of you said a peek is a guy thing. I know not normal with someone as close as a step daughter. But if you have fallen away from god, do none of you think God can fix this and make it better?

Some of you wonder if this is a more frequent problem or if he has looked things up on the net. There is no sign of this at all. And I don't think he would have ever taken it any further than this.

Still doesn't change the fact of what happened I know.

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

And yes, My daughter is my first priority and always will be.

 

 

I am a Christian and I think he is using God to play on your sympathy. Is he willing to gouge out his eyes for what he did? Technically, according to the bible, your husband committed adultery by lusting for your daughter. So if your worried about divorcing him, it is a recognized forgiven reason for divorce in terms of the teachings of the bible.

 

Please don't try to use Christianity or God to enable a sexual predator access to your kids. If your daughter's well being is truly more important to you than your husband, you will divorce him and you won't ever allow him access to your kids again.

 

Regardless of excuses or forgiving him for what he did, you can never trust him again around your kids. PERIOD.

 

Forgiveness does not mean that you should continue to trust a thief who has already stolen from you to keep watching your belongings. Forgiving the act has nothing to do with allowing someone access to violate again. Trust was completely broken and it is irrepairable in your situation.

 

You are not willing to leave your husband for trying to see your daughter naked. Don't you think that your daughter already knows that about you? That no matter what this man does to your kids or you, that you are unwilling to divorce him and support yourself and your kids by yourself. Why would you think she would be able to be honest with you about whether or not he has ever done anything else to her?

 

You caught him trying to see your daughter naked and your still unwilling to leave him for doing that, how can you say that your daughter is your first priority?

[flowergirl]

Desertair, what the f***k is wrong with you?! How dare you use God as an excuse for your husband's immoral and perverted behavior! If you were such a Godly person, this situation would be absolutely no dilemma for you because you'd know to protect your precious offspring at all costs. As a Godly person myself, I will pray for your family, especially your daughter, who has a mother that has shown she's choosing a pedophile over her own flesh and blood.

[Daniella]

You say you love your daughter and she comes first...Prove It! Leave this pedophile and don't look back!

You are showing signs of behaving just like my mother did...trying to look for reasons to justify what he did.

Soon you'll be putting the blame on your daughter because he will manipulate you into believing it was her fault.

I'm sure flowergirl will confirm that these men and the women who love then will do anything and say anything to make it look ' oh so innocent'. Do what's right...right now!!!

[Lostgurl]

Some of you said a peek is a guy thing. I know not normal with someone as close as a step daughter. But if you have fallen away from god, do none of you think God can fix this and make it better?

Thanks for the info from you all, but I have realized it very hard for people to give advice with out having all the details.

And yes, My daughter is my first priority and always will be.

 

That, in bold is the one of the craziest things i've ever heard. No, the only thing that can help this man, is a straight jacket. So he can't harm a poor innocent child in the future. Sure, this time he only had a chance to peek. What about next time?? If not your daughter, then someone else's? Does that not weigh on your mind? What if he wasn't caught? He wouldn't be mortified in his room, begging for councilling, and a chance for god to save him, and fix this.... He would be waiting for another chance to peek, or something WORSE.

 

You gave us the only detail we need. There is nothing else to be said. No other details could make what he did understandable or better, in anyone's eyes. It makes me sad that any other details would make any of it alittle better in yours, she's your daughter.

 

From this post, you make it blazingly clear, that no, sadly, she isn't your number one priority. If she was, you would be ten miles away from your husband.

[Daniella]

Noticed she hasn't been back...sadly, she will probably stay with this guy:(

The only good news here is that the daughter is 17, will hopefully be going off to college and get the hell out of the house and be spared knowing that her mother would never protect her.

I wasn't as fortunate...I was 12 when SF started 'peeking' which then led to other things.

SF threw a fit when he was approached by my mom. Started throwing things like a baby "I'd never do that...I can't believe you would think I would do somthing like that." He was never questioned about any of his actions again..even by guidance counselors and other adults I thought I could trust.

Desetair...if you do read this, don't take the defensive. Please try and look at this openly, as people who care...about you and your daughter. This could potentially ruin your relationship with her forever.

[disgracian]

The only thing worse than excusing reprehensible behaviour with religion is the fact that so many people are so eager to buy into it.

 

Cheers,

D.