Storyrider Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Maybe my dating experiences were too narrow so I never experienced the glowering, threatening reject. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Women will say he shouldn't have led them on by pretending to be their friend when he wanted more but they usually know he wanted more so true brother!! also, these same women have little, if no, respect for their male "friends" Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 But you know, Alpha, you have said you often reject women by simply never calling them again. That doesn't come from a place of forthrightness and bravery either. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Many of the guys on here complain because the friendship was not just a "Hey Baby" at the local pub but they saw a girl and was attracted to her and became friends. If she would have said "let's be friends" from the beginning then he would have had the option to decide if he wanted that or remove himself. He went along thinking she liked him as well and then when he thought the friendship was developing into more he finds out she doesn't like him "that way" and he ruined the friendship. Women will say he shouldn't have led them on by pretending to be their friend when he wanted more but they usually know he wanted more ( it's hard to hide when you really like someone ) but let it continue because they liked his company. If you know you only want a friendship with a person ( men and women ) then tell them so these hurt feelings will not destroy what you both have developed. It's the hiding of your intent that ends things in a big mess. I see why both parties would be upset when this happens but the fact that not everyone is interested in who is interested in them is what's always going to cause upset feelings no matter how well its handled. The rejected party always want to place blame on something. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 But you know, Alpha, you have said you often reject women by simply never calling them again. That doesn't come from a place of forthrightness and bravery either. maybe so...but atleast I'm not stringing them along for years and years with little morsels of romantic hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 so true brother!! also, these same women have little, if no, respect for their male "friends" They respect them as male gf's but not as real men. They are usually to nice and un-confident to accept them as a guy to date. Link to post Share on other sites
FormerNiceGuy Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 maybe so...but atleast I'm not stringing them along for years and years with little morsels of romantic hope. Exactly. Alphamale, you have been so spot-on... Bravo. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Women do this only because they are too wimpy to be seen as the bad guy. If there is some physical threat, I could understand fudging on it, but I have to say I have never once felt physically threatened when I turned down a guy. Maybe my experiences aren't typical...? That's great for you that you haven't ever felt physically threatened in a situation where a guy's come onto you. Maybe your experiences are typical, maybe they're not. Perhaps you'd like to take a poll on it. I don't regard myself as being a wimp. If, for instance, I want to take issue with something someone has said, I'll address them directly rather than make side-jabs in the way that you seem to like doing. I guess that life is a rich and interesting tapestry, and that people vary in their definitions of what constitutes a wimp. Link to post Share on other sites
FormerNiceGuy Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 But the truth is this entire thread is pretty pointless. Ranting about it won't stop it from happening again. It's like the same pattern keeps happening over and over again. Women lead the guy on. And the guy is too stupid to realize that he doesn't have a chance. And most of the time, women don't intend to lead the guy on....but the way they word it...makes the guy thinks he has a chance. It's better to just hurt the guy hard in one shot. Tell him straight up. You only hurt him once. But with the other method, you make him suffer for months, maybe even years. I can kind of see both sides though. Think about it this way. Most of these women are gonna be fine and attractive women. All of thier life, they have been approached by men. These men have come up to them and asked for a date or a phone number, etc. A woman finds it hard to say to someone, "I find you unattractive" or "I don't want to go out with you" or "No, you can't have my telephone number". So they just use a line like the "friends" thing so that they won't "hurt" the guy. So the only way to fix this problem...is to kill the problem from the beginning. Let the woman know from DAY ONE that you have a sexual interest in her. Let the woman know from DAY ONE that you aren't just a "friend." Don't just be friends with women that you want. Most of these guys who failed tried to hide this sexuality. They thought that showing thier sexual interest would scare the woman..so they hide it and then they wonder why they hear "Let's just be friends" a lot. I admit...it may be a biased view. But it's practically fool-proof because you never get led on. But the point is that it's unfair to say that women are wrong or that the men are wrong. Both have thier own distorted views. It's just best to fix this problem in the beginning...from the very first day that you see that beautiful girl....dont' even give her that option. Make it so that she HAS TO take you or DROP you. YOU make the initiative. don't let her do it. Be sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 It's just best to fix this problem in the beginning...from the very first day that you see that beautiful girl....dont' even give her that option. Make it so that she HAS TO take you or DROP you. YOU make the initiative. don't let her do it. Be sexual. I agree 100% with this, it's the best mentality to have to avoid being strung along as a friend/potential partner I think. What about when you get the 'let's be friends' after you've been dumped by a girlfriend of a couple of months? That's the only time I've ever had it told to me. I don't dislike that expression in particular but I don't like dishonest and sugarcoated reasons for dumping a guy when clearly those aren't the true intentions. Telling the truth isn't hard at all. To the guy who said something about not telling a fat & ugly girl that's what she infact is, I think it would be better to infact tell her that she is so she can realise the TRUTH and improve herself. Just like I'd like to hear the truth when being dumped so I can also improve myself. It's not that hard is it? By the way I wouldn't show any interest to a fat & ugly girl anyway in the 1st place so I avoid that problem and avoid leading her on and giving false hope. Link to post Share on other sites
I love hot men. Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 As a woman, a guy not calling to express his disinterest in dating further is acceptable up to about date five. I usually am pretty cool-headed and realistic about dating. The purpose of dating is to see if you have a real connection with the guy or not. So, if he doesn't call early on, I don't get all torn up about it. If it's been a month or more of dating, I believe that it takes more than just calling or pulling the disappearing act to end the dating process, it's only fair and kind. . Link to post Share on other sites
I love hot men. Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 hai everyone Hai, Morgan! Link to post Share on other sites
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