A Sexually Frustrated Virgin

[EricOnTheWeb]

That only happens in the movies.

 

I believe there is a time and place for your Analistic humor,not on this thread bud:rolleyes:

[Sparky]

Technically it's both your losses.

 

How? What have I lost? I never had anything to begin with. It WOULD be my loss if I rejected HER because she's offering to have a good time with me.

 

For example, in another thread someone used the term cockblock (which is a somewhat commonly used term among guys) and you weren't quite sure what it meant. Then another instance a poster used the word "wingman" and you didn't seem to have a grasp of the meaning...almost like these words were foreign.

 

But all do respect blue16, I can't know EVERYTHING. There have been times that I know things that others don't who get out more than I do. Also, if you look into everyone else's posts in the threads, I wasn't the only one how didn't know what those words meant.

 

I don't think that many people here are understanding what I want to do. Either that, or they're not listening (no offense).

 

This is going to sound really weird, but it's the best way I can think of to describe my goal: I don't see it as trying to loose my virginity, I just want to experience it with a friend who's done it before and can teach me. I guess you could call it a "sex coach". And if I make a girlfriend in the process, than great!

 

Man, this is hard to explain! I think maybe the best way to say this is that I'd like a friend with benefits, I guess.

 

Maybe I just want a girlfriend with experience.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Just go out and get yours; stop thinking.

 

That's the problem you got to shut the brain off and rely on nothing but pure instinct. Thinking clouds the bodies movement. It's like floating in water. If you struggle and try to float you wont, but if you relax your muscles and keep still you will float. It also helps if you are fat too. lol.

 

Your gonna get through it. Ask your homie to be your wingman. Get dressed friday night. hit the bar scene. club hop and go have fun, do not think, just do.

[Sparky]

Thanks for that post, Chrome Barracuda. That made me feel a lot better.

 

I think you could be a little bit more sophisticated. Like, say you will take them for ice cream, afterwards. That should seal the deal.

 

"If you sleep with me, I'll take you out for ice cream!!" :lmao:

 

But seriously, I'm not quite following you here.

 

You should try drawing your big one from its holster.

 

Have any examples that I can use my drawing abilities as an aphrodisiac? Or for it to lead me into getting laid?

[Pink Amulet]

But seriously, I'm not quite following you here.

 

Have any examples that I can use my drawing abilities as an aphrodisiac? Or for it to lead me into getting laid?

 

*falls off chair laughing* :lmao:

[Sparky]

You should try drawing your big one from its holster.

 

OOOHHHH!!! NOW I get it! *smacks head* Didn't quite follow what type of drawing you were talking about. I'm pretty sure that just whipping it out is NOT going to get me some...

 

...Unless of course I do it in front of Pink Amulet.

 

Come on! How are my talents and hobbies going to help me out here?!?!

[IpAncA]

I'm pretty sure that just whipping it out is NOT going to get me some...

 

Now that depends on who you show it too. But at least you'll get some looks. Just hope it's positive looks.

[Sparky]

[Chrome Barracuda]

Hope everything's working for you, did you get yours yet?!?

[Sparky]

Nope, not yet...

[Scoop88]

Personally I think you need to have some sort of connection with someone before you have sex with them. I would not go out to a bar and just try to pick someone up. Instead of trying to 'get with' someone, go out and try to meet people.

 

Come on! How are my talents and hobbies going to help me out here?!?!

Okay so you say you like drawing. Maybe take a drawing class (whether you need it or not). If your good, you can impress the girls or help them out. If your struggling with something, ask them for help and get a conversation going. A good thing about this is that its something you enjoy and you have the opportunity to meet people with similar interests. Right off the bat you have something to talk about and relate to.

If you meet someone you like, take them out for coffee or dinner. Then see a movie and before you know it you will have a good friendship.

Since you play guitar, offer to serenade her at your place. Or maybe offer to draw her picture. Take your interests/hobbies and use them to your advantage. Just go for it and don't make sex your focus. It will come on its own.

[Sparky]

Personally I think you need to have some sort of connection with someone before you have sex with them. I would not go out to a bar and just try to pick someone up. Instead of trying to 'get with' someone, go out and try to meet people.

 

I know. This is exactly what I've been trying to tell everyone here.

 

Just go for it and don't make sex your focus. It will come on its own.

 

Thanks, I tend to keep on forgeting that the people who go out and aim to get laid normally find it last.

[Sparky]

Just keeping this thread alive.

[lraecg]

Another 20 year old with his v-card intact here. Late developer socially and so only began to make an effort with women during the second term of my first year at Uni; eight months later I ended up in bed with a friend but (although drink meant I probably wasn't in a fit enough state anyway!) I stopped it from going the distance as I knew it wasn't the person (she's not somebody I was particularly attracted to, somebody I trust - friend of a friend more - and has a hell of a backstory to her life which explains her erratic behaviour) nor the way I wanted it to happen. I'm sure many of those who posted at the beginning of this thread preaching the virtues of finding yourself a Cougar (the girl is younger than me but very experienced) will chastise me and label me naive and while I can see their point of view, I've personally to view that as a demonstration of my self confidence which I'm quite proud of. Sure, there's a part of me which wonders what I missed out on, but 99% of the time I'm able to keep it in proportion.

 

The more recent posts seem to be more in tune with what my line of thinking is now; if keep your virginity as an issue near the front of your mind then it's just going to distract and irritate you which will do you no favours, so instead put it to one side and don't let it hold you back from perusing other avenues. I'm just about to make a fresh start on a new degree course (academic issues have meant that relationships have been a side issue since New Years) and have hopefully learned from the mistakes I've made over these past two and half years, and so I'll be taking every oppertunity to meet people (picking up Badminton competitively, getting involved with the Uni radio station once more and going to the gym) and just using the confidence that getting through the last year and a bit has given me.

 

Simply put, while I'd obviously prefer not to have to wait, I'd rather be patient until when I truly feel the situation is right for me rather than settling for anything less due to sheer impatience. In my mind you've just got to decide what's in charge of your life - you or your hormones?

 

That's my stance anyway; whichever way you choose to go I hope it works out for you.

[Sparky]

You've got a really good point there. That 2nd last paragraphy really makes sense. I would prefer not to wait, but I want find the right kind of person I want to do it with.

 

Thanks!

[JCD]

I'm 32 and still a virgin. I just haven't met the right girl yet. There were others but I knew it wouldn't last. There are lot of girls around my age who are many times divorced, have kids, have personality disorders, are addicted, etc. Can't find a single, no kids, normal kind of girl around here. I even lowered my standards, fell in love with a crazy girl who broke my heart and now that I'm back to normal I became more careful. I don't like myself for lowering my standards in the first place because it came back and bit me in the butt. Nothing but drama. I could have had sex but the end result would be the same ie. unhappy with someone.

[Jessica11111]

Simply put, while I'd obviously prefer not to have to wait, I'd rather be patient until when I truly feel the situation is right for me rather than settling for anything less due to sheer impatience.

 

I whole-heartedly agree with the sentiment in this post. Sex isn't just a verb, its more than two bodies bumping into each other in the night. The thing is that having sex with some one is an extreamly emotional event. And to have sex with somebody just to lose your virginity would destroy something that could be really beautiful. Because, although you would no longer be a virgin, the memory of that event wouldnt be a great memory, and it wouldn't allow for you to have sex again anytime soon. Random sex (with a person at the bar, or a hooker, or a stranger), is just that Random! It doesn't lead to more intimate encounters... and it probably wont be as good as you would expect either. Whereas, waiting until you find someone who appreciates you and wants to share their body with you will be an amazing experience that you will remember for the rest of your life. And, THAT will happen again and again.

 

So, I say. Best of luck. Don't rush it because you are worth more than that! Besides 20 is not that old at all! Maybe just spend time cultivating relationships with different women, not trying to have sex with them, but just get to know them... then you will be proactively moving closer to someone who is right for you...

[FleshNBones]

I'm 32 and still a virgin. I just haven't met the right girl yet. There were others but I knew it wouldn't last. There are lot of girls around my age who are many times divorced, have kids, have personality disorders, are addicted, etc. Can't find a single, no kids, normal kind of girl around here. I even lowered my standards, fell in love with a crazy girl who broke my heart and now that I'm back to normal I became more careful.

I am in a similar situation. It wasn't until I came across an attractive, intelligent, and KIND woman that I decided to give up on women in my age range. Apples that are on the ground for that long are usually rotten to the core.

[Art_Critic]

I come from the school that believes your virginity late in life isn't meant to be savored.. It was meant to be lost..

Intimacy was meant to be savored..

There is no wisdom or worldly knowledge gained by keeping your virginity.. there is however lots gained by losing it and moving on to sexual intimacy.

I also think that people lose it when they are ready.. if you are not ready then you are not ready.. but do not believe that you are gaining anything from remaining a virgin becuase you are not...

It isn't a tool to withhold from someone for a something that you want from them..

 

JMO

[Sparky]

Thanks everyone for your posts! And of course I'm not going to loose it just for the sake of loosing it (which has been mentioned several times now, and I'm really getting sick of repeating myself!). I crave for the intimacy of being with someone.

[Replicant]

Do you not know what our national animal is? If you are that sexually frustrated you'd be out hunting those!

 

Anyways, my advice or rather question would be asking have any of you ever given any consideration into going after a cougar? Trust me, with older women in your early 20's experience wise it's like you going from pre-school into graduate school! It's like with say baseball, to learn you need to just throw it a few times before you can really deliver in it the strike zone! I'm not saying set your standards low or encouraging one nighters. Not only could you get all that pent up frustration uncorked by a cougar but a lot of experience to go along with it. They don't call them cougars for nothing you know

[SierraMarie]

Maybe you should wait until you get married?

 

All these other people keep telling you the same over and over again and I really don't know why since you've made it clear you don't want to just go out and get laid. I wouldn't listen to them if I were you.

[Enthralling]

I was 21 when I lost mine. I never did worry to much about it, it will happen.

Sure you want the right girl and i agree with that totally but you don't want to be missing out on experiences that can only be had when you're young and bullet proof

[Lynz]

Your first time should be something special. Make sure it's with someone you care about instead devaluing yourself with a predator.

 

Completely agreed.

[Character]

Young man, you have nothing to worry about. Just try to get out, and don't be shy about talking to girls. It will happen soon. I lost mine at 20, and, if I'm anything to go by, the late bloomers compensate quite well in time!