Sparky Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Hey everyone! I know this isn't a new topic, but I just wanted some advice. I'm 20 years old, and I've never had sex before (unless cybersex counts ), not even recieved oral sex. I know this isn't unusual or anything wrong with it. It's just that whenever I hear people, especially girls, talking about sex, their sex life, experiences, implying they're not a virgin, etc. I get all down and feel like I'm missing out. The only way I've been able to relieve my sexual stress is by masterbating to porn or just fantasizing about girls I know and want to do it with. I always think about REAL women and not those women with incredible fake bodies. I do this all the time, and after I do it, the realization that it's probably not the same as real sex comes back and bites me. I've always thought of myself as a sexual person, even from a young age, WAY before I ever knew anything about porn. I'm never shy around women. Despite hearing over and over again that sex is overrated, I can't help but imagine it as jerking off, but 10 times better. Are there any other ways of dealing with this stress? (Other than finding a hooker??!! ) Also, what are some things that women want in a man before they jump in the sack with them? Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Working out at the gym. I was just like you at first. But you know what after I lost my virginity. I went buckwild. I'm nailing everything in a skirt with a phatass. lol. First thing you need to do is go get a jump off. Make sure she's single with no problems. Then you just have sex. If not it's not so hard to go bar-hopping with a few of your friends. Have a wing man with you. Trust me once all that pent up frustration and anger and rage and lust is out of your system, you'll feel much better. I was a late bloomer in loosing mines but dont wait to lose yours. It's only gonna get more backed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 That's a little unusual advice, no offense or anything. I've just never heard that kind of advice before. What do you mean by a "wing man"? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 I can understand that you can't wait to experiment this wonderful thing called sex...but my advice... for the first time, if you don't want the commitment (just the sexual experience) find an older woman. It will be amazing!!! Trust me you will never ever forget it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Your first time should be something special. Make sure it's with someone you care about instead devaluing yourself with a predator. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Your first time should be something special. Make sure it's with someone you care about instead devaluing yourself with a predator. I know, that's what I've always seen it as; something special. I haven't had a girlfriend for about 3 and a half years now. I've only had 1 girlfriend in my life. It was sweet, but nothing intimate whatsoever happened between us. What I really miss is having someone to snuggle up to, feeling their soft, smooth skin against my own, their heart beat, body temperature, and all that. So in other words, I get lonely. This could be just my dick talking instead of my heart. But seriously, I think it's both. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 That's a little unusual advice, no offense or anything. I've just never heard that kind of advice before. What do you mean by a "wing man"? Not unusual at all, I say find a single one because if she has a boyfriend it's gonna get things complicated. Some women these days lie about their relationship status. Oh a wingman is like a guy friend that you know who's gonna encourage you to meet woman, get a read on them, make it comfortable, Hook you up with the info. The wingman is just like a navigator, you gotta be the pilot though. I also agree with the older woman thing too. I love older women, they are a bunch of undercover freaks. You gotta drag that freak flag out of them. But once it's out they gonna be calling you to their apartment and answering the door wearing some neglic'e's and thong panties, holding a plate of bacon and eggs. *Lil Jon says: YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Also damn sparky how could have a girlfriend and not have sex with her? If any man has a girlfriend, I'd give it a 3 month mark til you get your swerve on sometimes even sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 While it is true that you never forget your first I think it is different for girls than it is for guys. Girls are brought up hearing how it is supposed to be special and with someone you love. To a girl it makes a difference to who and how she loses her virginity as she has this whole romance thing built into as well as the nesting characteristics they have. to a guy I firmly believe it doesn't make a difference.. we aren't looking to marry our first .. I say go out and get it over with.. you will feel better about it.. just make sure it is with someone that at the very least will give you a good memory since you will always remember it..but remember that you most likely won't be marrying her..there will be more.. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 If you don't have any preconceived ideas about the "romantic" aspect of it, I agree with the "get an older woman" idea as well as Art's post. If you can find a *ahem* more experienced (older) lady, then she likely can teach you a lot. Let her. You will be doing yourself, and any future partners you have a HUGE favor. Now are the formative years... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 While it is true that you never forget your first I think it is different for girls than it is for guys. Girls are brought up hearing how it is supposed to be special and with someone you love. To a girl it makes a difference to who and how she loses her virginity as she has this whole romance thing built into as well as the nesting characteristics they have. to a guy I firmly believe it doesn't make a difference.. we aren't looking to marry our first .. I say go out and get it over with.. you will feel better about it.. just make sure it is with someone that at the very least will give you a good memory since you will always remember it..but remember that you most likely won't be marrying her..there will be more.. No doubt there's romantic nonsense involved in this but there's also healthy patterns being laid...ahem...as groundwork for future relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 If you don't have any preconceived ideas about the "romantic" aspect of it, I agree with the "get an older woman" idea as well as Art's post. If you can find a *ahem* more experienced (older) lady, then she likely can teach you a lot. Let her. You will be doing yourself, and any future partners you have a HUGE favor. Now are the formative years... Formative years to let that freak flag fly!!! *Lil Jon: YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 No doubt there's romantic nonsense involved in this but there's also healthy patterns being laid...ahem...as groundwork for future relationships. The groundwork for future relationships was laid by your parents when you were younger... The patterns can't be formed unless you actually go out and have a sexual relationship.. Waiting to have sex isn't going to give you anymore insight on how to treat a woman or how to respect one either, that comes from how you were raised. the rest is all learned from actively participating in having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 The groundwork for future relationships was laid by your parents when you were younger... The patterns can't be formed unless you actually go out and have a sexual relationship.. Waiting to have sex isn't going to give you anymore insight on how to treat a woman or how to respect one either, that comes from how you were raised. the rest is all learned from actively participating in having sex. Sex is a powerful tool in the wrong hands, hence the comment about predators. It's an integral part of strong relationships. Twist one and you twist the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 If you don't have any preconceived ideas about the "romantic" aspect of it, I agree with the "get an older woman" idea as well as Art's post. If you can find a *ahem* more experienced (older) lady, then she likely can teach you a lot. Let her. You will be doing yourself, and any future partners you have a HUGE favor. Now are the formative years... This is sooo true... I often go in chat rooms and dating sites and gosh the younger men seeking older ladies...it's incredible... they all say they already had an older woman and it was unbelievable..they want more... and I say GOOD FOR THE COUGARS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 As a 31 year old woman I have to say that I prefer younger men (early 20s) for no strings attached sexual flings. They are much more agreeable to 1am booty calls than men my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 As a 31 year old woman I have to say that I prefer younger men (early 20s) for no strings attached sexual flings. They are much more agreeable to 1am booty calls than men my age. LOL! I can understand that pretty easily! Also, damn Sparky, how could have a girlfriend and not have sex with her? If any man has a girlfriend, I'd give it a 3 month mark til you get your swerve on sometimes even sooner. The relationship only lasted 4 weeks. There's also a lot more to a relationship than just sex. WOW! Thanks everyone for all the advice. I had no idea it would turn into a huge discussion. By older women, how much older do you people have in mind? Not like it matters, but I find that as long as she's hot (meaning look young) and has a good personality, I'm all for it. Also, I have to admit, not having sex before, I'm lost as to how to let someone know I want to get it on without being rude. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 LOL! I can understand that pretty easily! The relationship only lasted 4 weeks. There's also a lot more to a relationship than just sex. WOW! Thanks everyone for all the advice. I had no idea it would turn into a huge discussion. By older women, how much older do you people have in mind? Not like it matters, but I find that as long as she's hot (meaning look young) and has a good personality, I'm all for it. Also, I have to admit, not having sex before, I'm lost as to how to let someone know I want to get it on without being rude. I understand that more than anyody but sex is essential. Dont let anyone tell you different. But you'll get over this hump and trust me once you'll get this out of your system you'll be alright. Right now your hormones are raging. It's time to quell the raging beast inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 By older women, how much older do you people have in mind? Not like it matters, but I find that as long as she's hot (meaning look young) and has a good personality, I'm all for it. This is up to you..there is no standards... LOL Also, I have to admit, not having sex before, I'm lost as to how to let someone know I want to get it on without being rude. Trust me...you don't have to make a drawing, the older woman will know! And if you tell her it's your first time... OMG you might be in for a good ride...LOL The older woman (most anyway) will not judge you, will not laugh at you...she knows what she's doing... she won't 'harass' you.. trust me there are a lot of 'benefits' LOL Good luck... go find one ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Check the new thread I posted about Older women VS younger women... This was for you... LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 Thanks for the thread Lizzie! I loved it. So, all I have to do is go out and get laid? It's THAT simple?? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 yep just find an older woman you like... be very nice, flirteous, if she responds... compliment her (that goes for both younger and older) she'll get the message... here you go! It is fairly simple... it is simpler than with younger girls anyway... Good luck... keep us informed! Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I guess instead of "older" we could substitute "more experienced." That is really the point I'm trying to make. I think occasionally, young(er) guys miss out on the whole "how to learn to please a woman" thing when they only have sexual relationships with girls less than (or as) experienced as they are. If you find a girl your age who knows what she needs and how to communicate to you how to help her to achieve it, then, by all means, that qualifies for what I am advising. And if you find an inexerienced girl who is also open to her own sexuality and exploring it together with you, then this will work, too. It's the inexperienced younger gals that have this idea of the "romantic" first time and expect the guy to know what to do....I think this is a set up for disappointment (certainly for her, but maybe for you too). Good luck with that.... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I guess instead of "older" we could substitute "more experienced." That is really the point I'm trying to make. I think occasionally, young(er) guys miss out on the whole "how to learn to please a woman" thing when they only have sexual relationships with girls less than (or as) experienced as they are. If you find a girl your age who knows what she needs and how to communicate to you how to help her to achieve it, then, by all means, that qualifies for what I am advising. And if you find an inexerienced girl who is also open to her own sexuality and exploring it together with you, then this will work, too. It's the inexperienced younger gals that have this idea of the "romantic" first time and expect the guy to know what to do....I think this is a set up for disappointment (certainly for her, but maybe for you too). Good luck with that.... I agree with most of what you said except the last paragraph. You might be surprised how natural sexuality is, regardless of expectation. If the first time isn't as incredible as expectation, the times after that can easily offset it. I see sexuality as a natural and necessary extension of a relationship, instead of simply an appetite. If it's as such, bring out the porn and give yourself a handjob instead.... Btw, I have no issues with age differences if both parties know what they're getting into. Whatever works...works...but...I do have difficulty with predators targeting the inexperienced. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 TBF- I totally agree with where you're coming from with the predator/inexperienced thing. I'm certainly not trying to advocate that type of scenario. I also agree that sexuality can/should be a natural thing. That's what I meant about a gal who may not be experienced, but is open to exploring with another (inexperienced) person. It's the girls who have been raised with an unrealistic, cinderella view of sex and relationships that I think are set up for disappointment, especially if they (or their partner) are not open minded about exploring things together.... That's all I'm sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 I like Mustang Sally's idea of saying "experienced" instead of "older". Makes me feel A LOT more comfortable... Link to post Share on other sites
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