whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Yes. You can have complete control here by telling him that you have NO intention of having sex with him. And if he truely does love you, feels that what you two share is special enough, he WILL find a way to divorce his wife and be with you. True and honest love isn't a lie, and most of all, it doesn't start out having an affair. Say no, stay strong and don't let ANYTHING happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Wow I can't believe I'm thinking this way. I can. I wish I knew you in real life because if you had actually SEEN someone go through this, you'd be holding up crosses and garlics towards married men. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 True and honest love isn't a lie, and most of all, it doesn't start out having an affair. Hallelujah! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Yes, I've got to hand it to Witch...excellent advice. Really. And YAY for you Fun, that you're thinking about taking that very, very good advice. Now, you'll know where you stand without taking a chance on breaking your hurt in a really deep way. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 If he really loves you, he will respect your choice to not have sex right away, and he will divorce his wife then start a new relationship with you. I think anyway... because this happened to me...this guy fell head over heels for me... and I mean really in love, when I broke up with him the first time, he kinda scared me, I thought he would blow up and confess to his wife. I didn't want that to happen... cuz I didn't want to be with him full time. Anyway... he is still very much in love with me but he knows where I stand but he said he is willing to wait for me. Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 True and honest love isn't a lie, and most of all, it doesn't start out having an affair. That's beautiful, but some would say an emotional affair is just as much an affair as a physical one. Still, I like it. In a nutsack, er... nutshell. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 If he really loves you, he will respect your choice to not have sex right away, and he will divorce his wife then start a new relationship with you. I think anyway... because this happened to me...this guy fell head over heels for me... and I mean really in love, when I broke up with him the first time, he kinda scared me, I thought he would blow up and confess to his wife. I didn't want that to happen... cuz I didn't want to be with him full time. Anyway... he is still very much in love with me but he knows where I stand but he said he is willing to wait for me. I'm confused...did your MM divorce his wife to be with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 I love you guys! I'm glad I see the light, it just came all of a sudden in a flash and I am so so happy!!! THANK YOU! I can assure you I won't be having sex with him as things stand the way they are, not as long as there is no talk of him leaving his wife in a real way with proof. I feel so relieved and at ease all of a sudden. I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) I'm actually looking forward to saying no to his advances, jesus what was I thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) Congratulations. We're proud of you! I'll PM you my picture. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Give me abreak you guys.. Is it me or do you guys just not see through this BS... this is a way for her to get attention to be delusional and to create drama in her life and fill a void. She can't even tell a neighbor no to talking her into getting a dog because the poop would stress her out, well what about when the "**** hits the fan" when wife finds out or when she can no longer handle the lonliness that she is trying so hard to avoid. Heart felt texts wishing yourselfs a good weekend whilst MM goes back to wife... Bet ya can't wait until Monday comes around. Look I don't mean to be mean here but you are just asking for more heartache and quite frankly Fun I don't think you are equipt to handle this. STOP JUSTIFYING THIS!!!!!!! START DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND STOP LEANING ON MEN THAT YOU DEPEND ON.... FIND A THERAPIST THAT IS A WOMAN WAKE UP GIRL! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I love you guys! I'm glad I see the light, it just came all of a sudden in a flash and I am so so happy!!! THANK YOU! I can assure you I won't be having sex with him as things stand the way they are, not as long as there is no talk of him leaving his wife in a real way with proof. I feel so relieved and at ease all of a sudden. I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) I'm actually looking forward to saying no to his advances, jesus what was I thinking. Wow, you blew me away! I salute you, Fun. I underestimated you. I mean I knew you were smart and mature but you really have impressed me. You've really thought this through and not gone with your first impulse. You're a wonderful example to others. You really are. You should be so proud of yourself. Keep that integrity of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 Congratulations. We're proud of you! I'll PM you my picture. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now How many times do I have to say it???? SHOWER MASSAGER!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 Give me abreak you guys.. Is it me or do you guys just not see through this BS... this is a way for her to get attention to be delusional and to create drama in her life and fill a void. She can't even tell a neighbor no to talking her into getting a dog because the poop would stress her out, well what about when the "**** hits the fan" when wife finds out or when she can no longer handle the lonliness that she is trying so hard to avoid. Heart felt texts wishing yourselfs a good weekend whilst MM goes back to wife... Bet ya can't wait until Monday comes around. Look I don't mean to be mean here but you are just asking for more heartache and quite frankly Fun I don't think you are equipt to handle this. STOP JUSTIFYING THIS!!!!!!! START DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND STOP LEANING ON MEN THAT YOU DEPEND ON.... FIND A THERAPIST THAT IS A WOMAN WAKE UP GIRL! I would've thought this was mean before, but I swear I had this flash of instant insight, and now when I read your post it makes so much sense. I was truly in a fog and not seeing things straight. I had to read the same posts re-worded in a million different ways over and over until thank God something clicked. Thnx for everything, truly from my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I'm confused...did your MM divorce his wife to be with you? I tried to edit my post but I couldn't for some reason, it didn't work. No, this guy is still married... but around x-mas time, he became depressed and wanted to leave his wife. He said he was ready to wait for me... blablabla. But I don't want him to leave his family. I don't want any man full time plus I know I couldn't be faithful to one man, not now anyway... maybe in a few years. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Quote: Originally Posted by Fun2BMe I love you guys! I'm glad I see the light, it just came all of a sudden in a flash and I am so so happy!!! THANK YOU! I can assure you I won't be having sex with him as things stand the way they are, not as long as there is no talk of him leaving his wife in a real way with proof. I feel so relieved and at ease all of a sudden. I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) I'm actually looking forward to saying no to his advances, jesus what was I thinking. Wow, you blew me away! I salute you, Fun. I underestimated you. I mean I knew you were smart and mature but you really have impressed me. You've really thought this through and not gone with your first impulse. You're a wonderful example to others. You really are. You should be so proud of yourself. Keep that integrity of yours. At 9:20 she mentioned that she was so hot for him blah blah blah...now at 9:30 not 10 minutes later she is reformed... hmmm can't wait to see what happens at 9:40. Fun you first have to find out who you really are and what you really want before you can get into a relationship with anyone, you change your mind like the wind. Once you see him on Monday all those feelings will come back... and you will want to be intimate with him again get a grip Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I love you guys! I'm glad I see the light, it just came all of a sudden in a flash and I am so so happy!!! THANK YOU! I can assure you I won't be having sex with him as things stand the way they are, not as long as there is no talk of him leaving his wife in a real way with proof. I feel so relieved and at ease all of a sudden. I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) I'm actually looking forward to saying no to his advances, jesus what was I thinking. OMG I sooooooooooooooooooooooo hope you stick to your guns!! (Crossing fingers and toes so hard they're about to break!!) Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 get a grip I can't emphasise that enough. Not many can pull it off. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I can't emphasise that enough. Not many can pull it off. oh be quiet:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I love you guys! I'm glad I see the light, it just came all of a sudden in a flash and I am so so happy!!! THANK YOU! I can assure you I won't be having sex with him as things stand the way they are, not as long as there is no talk of him leaving his wife in a real way with proof. I feel so relieved and at ease all of a sudden. I'll relieve the sexual tension on my own for now;) I'm actually looking forward to saying no to his advances, jesus what was I thinking. I just don't buy that... this is too funny. Do you actually think I believe you? You first said that you are in LOVE with him and it is the same for him... ha-hem... and now you see the 'light'... come on. I think you are just having fun with us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 pricilla, I know what you are saying. It's kind of like if you were in love with someone and walked in on them having sex. Instantly you'd feel completely different towards them even if you were madly in love for the past 10 years. As soon as I read WWIU's post followed by star gazer's, both pointing out how the sex wouldn't change anything in his mind, that then I would have more chance of greater heartache waiting around for him all the while after we have sex he goes back to his wife, the combination of everything all of a sudden changed my mind about the whole thing. I was focusing on us loving each other. Now I am almost mad that he has stopped mentioning his wife for so long, it's like a pink elephant in the room that is not being commented on. And there's another twist I haven't revealed so all of it combined and I am really feeling released from the 'love' feelings that had me hostage and logically thinking it through. What I hadn't revealed in the thread was the fact that he's my therapist. He knows how messed up I am. He's the one who encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend which yes, I needed to do. But I really have a lot of issues and at the same time he is hitting on me and starts kissing me and telling me he loves me. I was feeling very fragile losing my bf and felt it was very healing to get his love. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 There's one thing you don't know about FUN is, once she makes up her mind, it happens pretty fast. You're very new here Lizzie, so you don't know FUN's past history, nor her previous threads... Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Why can't you just admit that your'e insane? Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I am really feeling released I take it that you got my PM, then. Jolly good. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 pricilla, I know what you are saying. It's kind of like if you were in love with someone and walked in on them having sex. Instantly you'd feel completely different towards them even if you were madly in love for the past 10 years. As soon as I read WWIU's post followed by star gazer's, both pointing out how the sex wouldn't change anything in his mind, that then I would have more chance of greater heartache waiting around for him all the while after we have sex he goes back to his wife, the combination of everything all of a sudden changed my mind about the whole thing. I was focusing on us loving each other. Now I am almost mad that he has stopped mentioning his wife for so long, it's like a pink elephant in the room that is not being commented on. And there's another twist I haven't revealed so all of it combined and I am really feeling released from the 'love' feelings that had me hostage and logically thinking it through. What I hadn't revealed in the thread was the fact that he's my therapist. He knows how messed up I am. He's the one who encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend which yes, I needed to do. But I really have a lot of issues and at the same time he is hitting on me and starts kissing me and telling me he loves me. I was feeling very fragile losing my bf and felt it was very healing to get his love. So needless to say him being your therapist and all which I knew from the beginning, (Thanks for admitting it) Is that you really need to stop seeing this man, how can he help you work through issues and heal if the two of you have an unhealthy relationship. I know you are comfortable with him and he with you, however who knows who else he is doing this with... You should be thinking of ways to say goodbye to him and get another therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
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