alphamale Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 No one is responsible for the suicide of another person. when you ignore the signs and don't get an irrational person help or at least TRY to help then, yes, you would be partially responsible for their suicide. And the guilt will be with you for the rest of your life. The key here is that the suicidal person is thinking irrationally and cannot help themselves.
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 when you ignore the signs and don't get an irrational person help or at least TRY to help then, yes, you would be partially responsible for their suicide. And the guilt will be with you for the rest of your life. The key here is that the suicidal person is thinking irrationally and cannot help themselves. Question is, are you really able to help them?
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 when you ignore the signs and don't get an irrational person help or at least TRY to help then, yes, you would be partially responsible for their suicide. And the guilt will be with you for the rest of your life. The key here is that the suicidal person is thinking irrationally and cannot help themselves. Well golly gee Alpha now you know that Grace's bf is suicidal.....you best hop on a plane and save him! :lmao: Call the friggin' cops on his ass and put him in the hospital for observation the next time he pulls this crap. My bet is he won't pull the "threat" again. If he really wanted to be dead - he already would be.
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 when you ignore the signs and don't get an irrational person help or at least TRY to help then, yes, you would be partially responsible for their suicide. And the guilt will be with you for the rest of your life. The key here is that the suicidal person is thinking irrationally and cannot help themselves. Like Carly Fiorina and Patricia Dunn?
Art_Critic Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 when you ignore the signs and don't get an irrational person help or at least TRY to help then, yes, you would be partially responsible for their suicide. Alpha is right about this.. but the distinction has to be made about how in control of themselves are they really ? and how far to to go helping someone before you throw the towel in.. I think one has to at least try.. they cannot just walk away at the first sign of cracks in the foundation.. but there also needs to be a line or point of withdrawal for the person doing the helping as they have their own lives to be concerned with also. and they might also have kids in the mix Everybody around Anna Nicole knew she would die of an overdose and nobody did anything to help her...
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Anna Nicole, bless her curved soul, was murdered. Everybody knows that.
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Alpha is right about this.. but the distinction has to be made about how in control of themselves are they really ? and how far to to go helping someone before you throw the towel in.. I think one has to at least try.. they cannot just walk away at the first sign of cracks in the foundation.. but there also needs to be a line or point of withdrawal for the person doing the helping as they have their own lives to be concerned with also. and they might also have kids in the mix Everybody around Anna Nicole knew she would die of an overdose and nobody did anything to help her... That is because they were all profiting off her stupidity and problems. They still are and will continue to do so for quite some time to come. One last try does not mean having a relationship with the person. You can be supportive without allowing the person to ruin your life as well. It is obvious the man knows he has a problem.... chooses not to deal with it until someone else takes the responsibility to make him. It will continue...... track record says others have tossed him aside... he most likely just played out all of his cards with others.
dropdeadlegs Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Alpha, we are agreeing more than disagreeing. If you pull one sentence from my post, it is taken out of context at that point. At no time have I intended to imply abandoning this man is the way to proceed, I just think he is more of a responsibility than the average person can handle. Yes, try to get him some help, but that's all AG can do for him. At that point she has exerted all the control there is to exert. I do think that threatening suicide is a form of emotional blackmail when stated in the midst of a break up situation. He is holding AG hostage by making self harming threats at a time when she was ready to leave the relationship. And it worked. I also agree with a4a's comment that if he really wanted to do it he would already have done so. While there may be signs that are often overlooked, if someone really wants to die, they don't run around telling people about it because they know people will react and try to stop them. A suicidal person will not be stopped if their intent is to die.
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 It will continue...... track record says others have tossed him aside... he most likely just played out all of his cards with others. No offense a4a...you know I love you...but that's pretty wrong to say. I think others were selfish. More selfish than I am. From day one he spotted me and vibed on my good heart. I know this guy and I highly doubt he latched onto me to exploit my good heart. He notes that I 'take the bull by the horns' and has expressed an admiration for me in that way. Maybe he is reaching out...
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 No offense a4a...you know I love you...but that's pretty wrong to say. I think others were selfish. More selfish than I am. From day one he spotted me and vibed on my good heart. I know this guy and I highly doubt he latched onto me to exploit my good heart. He notes that I 'take the bull by the horns' and has expressed an admiration for me in that way. Maybe he is reaching out... Yeah but do you want a partner that is your life project? Not trying to be mean - but he knows he has issues, has chose not to address them - chose to complicate them by drinking - pulls the suicide card to keep you? = not healthy or loving at all towards you. Your going to end up his fixer- then what?
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 Yeah but do you want a partner that is your life project? Not trying to be mean - but he knows he has issues, has chose not to address them - chose to complicate them by drinking - pulls the suicide card to keep you? = not healthy or loving at all towards you. Your going to end up his fixer- then what? Well this sucks...I just left another voice mail telling him I'm concerned about him cause I called him at 6:30 this morning. I'm going to take a drive over to his house...
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Well this sucks...I just left another voice mail telling him I'm concerned about him cause I called him at 6:30 this morning. I'm going to take a drive over to his house... well this is just the start of things to come. Be careful. Drive safe!
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Well this sucks...I just left another voice mail telling him I'm concerned about him cause I called him at 6:30 this morning. I'm going to take a drive over to his house... You shouldn't. If he really is suicidal, you can't help him by doing so. And if he's playing, you are reinforcing an unhealthy pattern.
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 The guy is PLAYING me. He's at work and is just ignoring my calls. You know...screw him. OCD and everything else screw it all. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going out with the girls.
alphamale Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 While there may be signs that are often overlooked, if someone really wants to die, they don't run around telling people about it because they know people will react and try to stop them. A suicidal person will not be stopped if their intent is to die. WTF are you talking about DDL? You are totally mis-informing people here. Do you know what the warning signs of suicide are? ONe of the major ones is talking about killing yourself or alluding to it. Normal and rational people don't say they are going to kill themselves.
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 The guy is PLAYING me. He's at work and is just ignoring my calls. You know...screw him. OCD and everything else screw it all. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going out with the girls. well if you do that he is going to pull the "I am a hurting human card"...... guilt your ass right back to where he wants you..... then that will fail....... it will all be your fault..... then last resort he will do something very stupid...... wash rinse repeat. I have OCD, PMS, TMJ, and LMNOP........ so love me instead of him!
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 WTF are you talking about DDL? You are totally mis-informing people here. Do you know what the warning signs of suicide are? ONe of the major ones is talking about killing yourself or alluding to it. Normal and rational people don't say they are going to kill themselves. eh alpha the fakers are fakers..... they won't do it because they want to see the results of their threat..... real suicide seekers that really want to succeed don't blurt it out. How many people cut their wrists the wrong way..... don't quite take enough pills. I mean if you want to really do it you rent a cabin where there is no chance of someone stopping you.... you put your affairs in order. You don't pull crying wolf.
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 I have OCD, PMS, TMJ, and LMNOP........ so love me instead of him! OMG you are awesome!
dropdeadlegs Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 WTF are you talking about DDL? You are totally mis-informing people here. Do you know what the warning signs of suicide are? ONe of the major ones is talking about killing yourself or alluding to it. Normal and rational people don't say they are going to kill themselves. Alpha, we will just agree to disagree. My opinions are not meant to be considered as anything but my opinions. We both have taken a strong stance on what we perceive this situation to be. I think I've said enough at this point. The guy is PLAYING me. He's at work and is just ignoring my calls. You know...screw him. OCD and everything else screw it all. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going out with the girls. AG, you do what you need to do to sleep at night. I personally think he is playing you, but I won't have to live with the outcome. My intent has been to support your decision to leave this guy, but whatever you decide to do is what's best for you and I will stand by you in any case. I have given my thoughts and don't want to appear to be attempting to sway yours.
Art_Critic Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 The guy is PLAYING me. You know...screw him. OCD and everything else screw it all. Keep this attitude in the forefront.. it will help you get thru this.. he is playing games.. Don't let him.... You need to put yourself first in this and don't even put him in your priorities .. until and only then if he is sober and on medication... and by sober I mean weeks or months not days. He does have family ? well let them worry about him..
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 I have given my thoughts and don't want to appear to be attempting to sway yours. You don't need to...he did that on his own. I'm so mad that I allowed him to play on my heartstrings...yet one more issue to be brought up in therapy... (they don't have a 'scream your head off' smilie or I'd use it)
alphamale Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 whatever, let him kill himself....its no skin off my butt.
Author amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 Keep this attitude in the forefront.. it will help you get thru this.. he is playing games.. Don't let him.... You need to put yourself first in this and don't even put him in your priorities .. until and only then if he is sober and on medication... and by sober I mean weeks or months not days. He does have family ? well let them worry about him.. Thank you Art. Yes, this was the reality check I was in need of. And yes, he does have parents and a brother. And they live locally. Thank you so much for getting involved with my drama. XO I still wanna scream my head off though.
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 eh alpha the fakers are fakers..... they won't do it because they want to see the results of their threat..... real suicide seekers that really want to succeed don't blurt it out. How many people cut their wrists the wrong way..... don't quite take enough pills. I mean if you want to really do it you rent a cabin where there is no chance of someone stopping you.... you put your affairs in order. You don't pull crying wolf. Spot on! One of my MIL's cut her wrists on the wrong side, duh! If you really want out, nobody is going to stop you.
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 OMG you are awesome! well no I do not have OMG, I did once but I got some pills and the whole thing cleared up in about 5 days. Still kinda itches though now and again. :lmao:
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