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I Pay My Wife For Sex !!!


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Old 19th October 2006, 12:57 AM   #1
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I Pay My Wife For Sex !!!

Long time lurker here, new poster. After reading all the "low libido, ain't gettin' any" posts here, I thought I would tell my admittedly strange tale. I expect to get flamed, with people telling me everything from "morally wrong" to "ethically repugnant" to "probably illegal" to "definately fattening". All I can say is right now, it's working for us.

Quick background:

A familiar story on Love Shack - married 20+ years, 4 kids, sex life down to 1 or 2X month. I railed mightily and long against this and embarked on every strategy from romantic seduction to pouting demand. If I got any at all, it was "obligation sex" - not very fun or rewarding for the giver or receiver. I just basically got angry and gave up. Again, a familiar story. The frustrating part was hearing my wife say that she was happy with our relationship and felt the problem was simply that I was putting too much emphasis on sex when she was "too tired", "too stressed" or "not in the mood".

In the last 5 years my career (and income) have really taken off. We were comfortable before, but putting 3 kids (and soon a 4th) into college took most of our money. Didn't have much set aside for retirement so that was my focus as the income grew. My wife disagreed, wanting to live more in the "here and now". Ironically, now that we had some money, we were fighting over it. Not surprisingly, these fights led to even less sex.

Fast forward to 6 months ago. A fight about money AND sex turned into my saying that I might feel loose financially if she was more giving sexually - probably a dumb and selfish thing to say, but that was how I was feeling. She replied that the opposite was true for her, that she might feel more relaxed intimately if she felt more indulged financially. So an idea was born.

We agreed that since 2X a month was our norm, that I would give her cash for anything above that. If tired, she would please me orally. If more willing, we would have sex. She can refuse to "indulge" me at any time, no questions asked. Also, either partner could cancel the deal at any time and we'd go back to our norm.

Even stranger, she has kind of gotten into it. I've been tied up, dressed up and had some things done to me that make me blush to put down on paper (even anonymously). I've had more and better sex in the last 6 months than in the previous 6 years combined. No more thoughts of cheating (which I would never do anyway) or divorce (again, wouldn't put my kids through that). I guess I should emphasize that this is not the mortgage, grocery, clothing, vacation or family money, but extra cash that in my surpressed anger would have gone to something "mid-life crisis" dumb like a motorcycle. Like I said, it is bizarre but working well.

Sorry for the long post. Go ahead, fire away

Mr. Lucky

BTW - Don't tell my wife, but retirement is on track also
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Old 19th October 2006, 9:23 AM   #2
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Interesting idea...

Even for folks who were "joint" everything financially, it could have a fantasy effect...
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Old 19th October 2006, 9:30 AM   #3
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I am so going to start demanding payment! .........oh shoot in my M it would probably end up being the other way around. shyte! Screwed again.....but what a wonderful few moments I had pondering this idea.
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Old 19th October 2006, 9:31 AM   #4
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That's fantastic! I love it!

Have you noticed her being any different, sexually, when you're not paying her?

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Old 19th October 2006, 9:44 AM   #5
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Hey, if it's working for you.... great!!

Does it not ever bother you that she's more interested in getting the money, than just being intimate with you because of her love for you?

Or do you think that the money simply greased the cogs (so to speak) and that now you have a sex life again she is enjoying it for itself?
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Old 19th October 2006, 9:52 AM   #6
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I'm guessing it feels kinky again for her and she's enjoying it. Sounds like the two of you have it worked out. Good for you!
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Old 19th October 2006, 10:06 AM   #7
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Is it like the real world with set prices for different acts?
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Old 19th October 2006, 10:18 AM   #8
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way to go Lucky. Ya know, this payment for sex is actually a break from the same boring routine sex that she wasn't interested in anymore. And, heck, why not !! Better the money going into your wife's purse than you going outside looking for sex. Thanks for the idea. I'm gonna try it myself, but my girl's gonna have to pay me.
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Old 19th October 2006, 10:36 AM   #9
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LOL We always pay for it one way or another. Why not cash...

So does she ever feel...like...um..a professional if ya know what I mean?
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Old 19th October 2006, 10:43 AM   #10
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Actually, I like that idea. If it doesn't make her feel "cheap," then both are benefitting. And it probably is getting her more interested. Although the negative is that it is about her getting money for pleasuring you rather than her getting turned on by sex...but who cares? She may now be turned on by sex where as before there was no motivation.

Out of curiosity, not that I have that kind of money, about how much do you pay?
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Old 19th October 2006, 10:59 AM   #11
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It seems that women require more than just being turned on by sex, to be turned on. I know that I need to feel like I'm cared for in some way by the guy I'm having sex with, to be truly into it (ok, not all the time, but alot).

There's something else as well. Something about being given money... the guy must really want me, and me only. Maybe I've got to do what he wants if he's paying me, and that's a turn on. Maybe I don't have to fake wanting to do stuff, and that's a turn on... I don't know, can't get my head around it... sorry, rambling...
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Old 19th October 2006, 11:02 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripples View Post
There's something else as well. Something about being given money... the guy must really want me, and me only. Maybe I've got to do what he wants if he's paying me, and that's a turn on. Maybe I don't have to fake wanting to do stuff, and that's a turn on... I don't know, can't get my head around it... sorry, rambling...
What's amazing to me is the lack of objections to the idea, especially from the ladies.
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Old 19th October 2006, 11:12 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stoopid_guy View Post
What's amazing to me is the lack of objections to the idea, especially from the ladies.
It's not like she is being paid to have sex with random guys, it's her husband. To me it just sounds like role-playing taken up a notch, and role-playing can be fun.
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Old 19th October 2006, 11:23 AM   #14
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I agree with Bab.. it is role playing...

Growing up my dad had this saying about marriage..

He would say that it is cheaper to just have a maid and a whore instead of being married.

The OP is disproving my dads theory..
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Old 19th October 2006, 12:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripples View Post
That's fantastic! I love it!

Have you noticed her being any different, sexually, when you're not paying her?

No, it has become kind of a "package" deal (pun intended)

Mr. Lucky
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