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Guy I'm dating never texts me


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Old 11th April 2019, 9:19 PM   #1
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Guy I'm dating never texts me

I've been dating this guy since November. We have a great time on our dates and he's so sweet and nice on our dates. He seems so interested in me when we're together. We try to go out once a week, however do to our schedules sometimes we don't see each other for 2 to 3 weeks.

He lives over an hour from me, so I understand we can't always see each other.

However, ever since we started dating last Nov. he barely texts me. The first few months of dating he would go 10-11 days without texting me. In the beginning I just thought he wasn't interested anymore and I would always be surprised he eventually texted me to go out. However he still goes 10+ days without texting me.

I have texted him and it takes him hours to a day to respond.

He only texts me a few days before we go out to plan our dates. He couldn't even go on one of our dates a few weeks ago and didn't even text me to cancel, I heard from him a week after he blew me off and I asked him where he has been and then he said he was sick. I told him that was unacceptable and he needs to be more considerate of my time. He apologized and said I was right and I told him I would like him to text me more, however he hasn't.

I really like him and we have a good time together on the dates and seems like we're in a relationship when we're together, however then I don't hear from him.

I just don't understand why he never texts me?

I have a lot of trouble finding people to date and don't have many friends, so going out once a week with him is fun and really enjoy it.

My family have just told me to keep going out with him because we have fun and I don't have anybody else to go out with. I won't sleep with him, I'm not giving up other people to date, still trying to find other guys and I do like him.

We only kiss a little. It took him months to even ask to kiss me.

We live with our families, so we just kiss a little when we're out, he doesn't really kiss me in his car, which I also think is odd.

I also am trying to find other guys to date because obviously this guy isn't really interested in a relationship.

I think he thinks we're in a relationship though because he asked me to go to his brother's out of town wedding, he thought he should ask me because we've been dating 6 months.

I just don't understand why he doesnt text me, it feels like I'm in this great relationship once a week then single the rest. I've asked him to text more during week. However, I don't want to seem pathetic or annoying.

Any advice appreciated, thanks!!

Last edited by Spring1234; 11th April 2019 at 9:29 PM..
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Old 11th April 2019, 9:32 PM   #2
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it doesn't sound like he's all that interested, going by what you've written.



I think you should keep with dating other men because this guy isn't one of them.


He doesn't text you because he doesn't want to. If that is unacceptable to you, bounce. He doesn't need to know--his behavior is already telling you that.
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Old 11th April 2019, 9:41 PM   #3
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I'd hardly say that the two of you are dating. Sounds like he has another life that he's not telling you about. I think you should value yourself more and stop prodding him about how you want him to behave. If he couldn't even cancel before a date, or even bother to explain later until you asked, that should've been the end of the line for you. Stop accepting this low-level behavior and stop being Miss Understanding.
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Old 11th April 2019, 10:14 PM   #4
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I really like him though, and it's just frustrating I finally found someone and this is happening.

Why do you think he doesn't text me though? He drives over an hour to see me almost every week, takes me out to nice places, dinner, events etc. Texting is so easy, I'm not even saying he needs to text me everyday or all day, but going so long without hearing from him is annoying.

Would you still go out, be annoyed?

What's with him?
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Old 11th April 2019, 10:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring1234 View Post
I really like him though, and it's just frustrating I finally found someone and this is happening.

Why do you think he doesn't text me though? He drives over an hour to see me almost every week, takes me out to nice places, dinner, events etc. Texting is so easy, I'm not even saying he needs to text me everyday or all day, but going so long without hearing from him is annoying.

Would you still go out, be annoyed?

What's with him?
Well, if you REALLY like him, then that changes everything...not. This is the same reason people use who get into abusive relationships. "But I love him!"

No, I still wouldn't go out with him and I wouldn't care about the 'why'. His behavior is strange, arrogant, and uncaring. You're just playing a mind game with yourself.
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Old 11th April 2019, 10:40 PM   #6
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Well, if you REALLY like him, then that changes everything...not. This is the same reason people use who get into abusive relationships. "But I love him!"

No, I still wouldn't go out with him and I wouldn't care about the 'why'. His behavior is strange, arrogant, and uncaring. You're just playing a mind game with yourself.
Why do you think he doesn't want to text me, but acts so nice and interested on the date? Things are great when we're together.
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Old 11th April 2019, 10:51 PM   #7
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Why do you think he doesn't want to text me, but acts so nice and interested on the date? Things are great when we're together.
I have no idea, and neither do you. There could be a number of reasons and most of them aren't encouraging - he has another life, he's only loosely interested, he has other girlfriends or a wife. Whatever his reason, his behavior bothers you, yet you continue to tolerate it. If you intend to stay with him, then learn to be ok with it. If you hate it that much, then walk away. It's really that simple. Don't waste your time trying to second-guess other people.
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Old 11th April 2019, 11:21 PM   #8
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I have no idea, and neither do you. There could be a number of reasons and most of them aren't encouraging - he has another life, he's only loosely interested, he has other girlfriends or a wife. Whatever his reason, his behavior bothers you, yet you continue to tolerate it. If you intend to stay with him, then learn to be ok with it. If you hate it that much, then walk away. It's really that simple. Don't waste your time trying to second-guess other people.


I just always thought that when a guy likes you he would want to text you.

I just don't get him. Such nice dates then silence.
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Old 11th April 2019, 11:31 PM   #9
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Yes, when a guy likes you, he will want to stay in contact. So apparently this guy like you enough to have you as a dinner companion, but not enough to stay in contact outside of that.
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Old 11th April 2019, 11:39 PM   #10
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Possibly you could simply state what you want - directly tell him that you'd like him to text with you frequently to keep things warm between you. It would at least be interesting and possibly telling to see what his reaction is.

Agree that it's possible you're actually a side-piece or similar. It's also possible that he just has a very different attachment style from you.

Agree that if it's not what you want and you can't get him to do what you want or move closer or do something that makes this easier on you, then you should keep your options open.
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Old 12th April 2019, 6:52 AM   #11
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10 days to reply is not cool everyone uses there phones daily a day or 2 i wouldnt worry but 10 days damn does this guy even bother to call you inbetween?
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Old 12th April 2019, 7:57 AM   #12
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Does he stay in touch other ways -- calls, social media, smoke signals? He may not be a texter. I don't text a lot. I've learned to do it because so many other people prefer it but it's my least favorite way to communicate.

Do ask him about it. All mention you'd like more contact. It's OK to ask for something like that without being needy.
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Old 12th April 2019, 9:13 AM   #13
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I'll assume you're youngin's.

What would this guy have DONE if it were 1997 when we didn't have cell phones or texting capability???? He would have had to man up and pick up the phone and call you - like human beings actually DID 20 years ago back in the dark days.

I can't believe this guy has no contact with you at all and worse, when you do hear from him, it's a lame text asking you out a couple days before the date. Be still my beating heart.

What I don't understand is why you're willing to settle for so precious LITTLE.

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I also am trying to find other guys to date because obviously this guy isn't really interested in a relationship.
I'd spend my time doing this too, if I were you.
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Old 12th April 2019, 10:41 AM   #14
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Here we go again....date those who treat you the way you want to be treated...it's that simple.
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Old 12th April 2019, 10:46 AM   #15
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I hate to tell you this but the reason he isn't texting you is because he has low interest in you. When a guy is crazy about his girl he wants contact. Why don't you have friends to hang out with? You sound young.
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