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Asking fiancee why pics of her ex still on social media


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Old 14th March 2019, 2:23 AM   #16
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No that's really inconsiderate and even when I am meeting someone for the first time, if they have ex pictures up, I see it as a red flag they're not over them. If it's like ONE picture out of many, okay fine. But if it's like all over their social media, they're frankly inconsiderate and not ready to begin something new.

How come this was not an issue when you were dating?
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:32 AM   #17
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Should be x fiancé.

Pretty disrespectful. This is something you shouldn't even have to ask about.

It'll probably get worse not better.

Better wake up before it's too late.
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:49 AM   #18
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No that's really inconsiderate and even when I am meeting someone for the first time, if they have ex pictures up, I see it as a red flag they're not over them. If it's like ONE picture out of many, okay fine. But if it's like all over their social media, they're frankly inconsiderate and not ready to begin something new.

How come this was not an issue when you were dating?
Just to be clear its engagement pictures of them from 2014-2015. Shes fairly active on FB. It's public pics that you have to scroll down to find. I just never made a big deal because evrything else has been pretty good between us. I finally decided I had to say something when she wanted me to take down pics of me in Paris and London when I visited my ex. Ex wasnt even in the pics though but I was respectful of her feelings and took them down. But like you said it's a few pics of many on one entry
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:45 AM   #19
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There is no way on God's green earth you should ever even consider marrying this woman.
She should be, and know, that she is your ex-fiance.
She shows absolutely no regard for your feelings.
She cares for you ....... NOT!!!


Please do not hitch your wagon to this woman.

She is showing you what kind of a partner she would be, a BAD one.


Move on and find yourself a good woman for a change. They are out there. You just haven't found one yet.


By the way, she's someone else's ex-fiance as well. Did you ever wonder about that? And I mean not what she's told you but about what REALLY went down.
Seems like her true self can't seem to go the distance with anybody.


Fair warning.
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Old 14th March 2019, 10:18 AM   #20
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Ugh this is so annoying.

We aren't going to go through our ENTIRE social media profiles everytime we date someone new. What's done is done, it's the past.

Stop being insecure. Everyone has exes whether their pics are on FB or not. We can't change our past, so stop complaining that we aren't changing our past social media posts.
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Old 14th March 2019, 10:44 AM   #21
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Stop being insecure. Everyone has exes whether their pics are on FB or not. We can't change our past, so stop complaining that we aren't changing our past social media posts.
Who on earth is "we"? Sounds like you're conflating your experience with the OP's and thats hardly helpful in this case.

In this case, I think what the OP is asking for is fair, considering the specific circumstances. I also think his fiance's response is very problematic. This is an issue they need to hash out together.
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Old 14th March 2019, 11:34 AM   #22
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Especially since from OP, if he had likewise it would be a big deal.

Don't accept a double standard, it sets a bad tone.

Put your foot down and call it exactly how it is, and if she doesn't like or wants to raise hell about it, realize the truth that you have probably two options:
1) Cave in and marry her, she will realize she can control you and set a double standard for herself and walk over you being selfish and entitled.

2) Find a woman who will respect you.

Hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully you will put your foot down on her little **** test and she will respect that.
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Old 14th March 2019, 1:38 PM   #23
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Ugh this is so annoying.

We aren't going to go through our ENTIRE social media profiles everytime we date someone new. What's done is done, it's the past.

Stop being insecure. Everyone has exes whether their pics are on FB or not. We can't change our past, so stop complaining that we aren't changing our past social media posts.
They are getting married. I think I speak for most on here that when you have found the one, and the rings are bought, it would be time to put the past in the past by taking them down to start your new life with your husband/wife to be. I agree with the OP and he did the right thing by requesting that. It's not a matter of insecurity, it's a matter of respect.
Even I have ripped my exes out of photos, or simply tossed them out.
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:00 PM   #24
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They are getting married. I think I speak for most on here that when you have found the one, and the rings are bought, it would be time to put the past in the past by taking them down to start your new life with your husband/wife to be. I agree with the OP and he did the right thing by requesting that. It's not a matter of insecurity, it's a matter of respect.
Even I have ripped my exes out of photos, or simply tossed them out.
Ah. I missed the detail that they are getting married. Well yeah, it's a harmless request, but if you need social media to solidify your commitment, then maybe your priorities aren't in the right place...
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:16 PM   #25
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I’m of the mind that ex’s are a significant part of our lives and past. Having said that, if I have pics of my ex’s on any social media, that automatically makes it ok for my current bf to do the same. Your fiancé has a dangerous double standard philosophy which = being unreasonable. I’d advise you to think long and hard about marrying her. This is a very big red flag.
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:23 PM   #26
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I firmly think today you can liken old photos in frames to pics on social media and no way in heck would you ever display pictures of your ExW or ExH in your house that you live in with your current wife or husband..

To the attic those pictures went in the old days, today you either delete them or archive and delete them..

How anybody can think previous wedding photos are appropriate to display while getting married to another is beyond me.

Dating and GF's/BF's I think there are cases that it's okay or acceptable until a full on commitment is made but not old marriages and wedding photos..
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:33 PM   #27
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OP, I'd hate to think your fiancée would risk her engagement over pics of her ex on her FB page..

but..

I see it as disrespectful, and makes me wonder if she is still hung up on that guy.

Double standard? Yes, very much so.

I do not think you are making too big of a deal over expecting her to remove them from her profile. As others have expressed, it should give you some pause about what kind of relationship you really have with your gf.
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:51 PM   #28
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Just to be clear its engagement pictures of them from 2014-2015. Shes fairly active on FB. It's public pics that you have to scroll down to find. I just never made a big deal because evrything else has been pretty good between us. I finally decided I had to say something when she wanted me to take down pics of me in Paris and London when I visited my ex. Ex wasnt even in the pics though but I was respectful of her feelings and took them down. But like you said it's a few pics of many on one entry
It's ok for her but not you? Nice double standard for her.

Bud, you've got an entitled selfish princess on your hands.

You should wake before you get woken up.
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:52 PM   #29
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So we had an argument about it. She said she planned to take them down but she's been busy and she said she does not understand why it's a big deal. She does have a busy schedule but I just wonder if she would have taken them down if I had not brought it up again. Anyway the pics are down I guess, but I dont feel any better about the situation.
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:39 PM   #30
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So we had an argument about it. She said she planned to take them down but she's been busy and she said she does not understand why it's a big deal. She does have a busy schedule but I just wonder if she would have taken them down if I had not brought it up again. Anyway the pics are down I guess, but I dont feel any better about the situation.
Ya no doubt with that unsympathetic attitude of hers. Good luck.
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