LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Date in hospital/after hospital


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree160Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 3rd February 2019, 4:20 PM   #46
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
I've got my aunt and mum coming over next week. I don't have many work colleagues who are friends. To be honest I don't get to see many of them. We are always out of the office and such. I've spoke to them on the phone a few times.

I've spoke with friends back home they have said they'll listen but too busy too. I have my cousin over here she's been fantastic but has her own life and I don't want to disturb her further. I've talked to my boyfriends best friend she busy with work and her own life. I feel I'm on my own.

My best friend has rang a few times, I've even spoke to my dispatcher/manager at work they've said if I'm fit and well they're dispatching me to a job and I'm to leave my personal issues at home.

My boyfriends dispatcher rang asking when he will be returning I explained the situation and she said "So I can't send him to a job next week then?" his boss has been alright, come up to see him on Thursday and apparently they chatted.

But I really do feel on my own. I am in a foreign country.

Last edited by ShaunaN; 3rd February 2019 at 4:40 PM..
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2019, 5:01 PM   #47
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
To add. I've been scheduled to go tonight to the client I am at tomorrow. My boyfriend has been booked in for a biopsy and I can't be there. I can't have my phone on at this client and yeah I have to admit its getting a bit too much for me now. I left my boyfriend my bear I got off an Aer Lingus flight, he said it reminds him of me and at least I feel like I'm there.

I can't imagine what my boyfriend is going through, He says he is okay but I know he isn't.
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th February 2019, 2:53 PM   #48
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
I was really worried about my boyfriend waking up alone, I rang his best friend K. She said she will work from the hospital today and sit with him until he goes down for his biopsy and sit with him when he gets back.

I was happy about that. He was put under general anaesthetic so still asleep.

I'm still upset I can't be there. Someone at the clients office sat with me and chatted, she said my boyfriend is in the best hands and its obvious I love him. I just hate this whole situation.
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th February 2019, 2:03 AM   #49
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
I've been up since 4am

I'm a little worried I've not heard from my boyfriend since before the biopsy. Nurses say he is just sleeping. I'd have expected a text or something. He always texts me. I whatsapp'd him and it been read.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this but I am worried.
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th February 2019, 2:38 AM   #50
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 12
Hey Shauna,

I usually donít really write much here but I just wanted to say that you sound like a wonderful person and loving girlfriend. I can not even imagine how difficult this time must be for you and also of course for your boyfriend. I hope you heard from him by now? I wish you both a lot of strength!!!

It is really good that you have family coming over soon to support you, I have also lived abroad for many years and I know how it is to not have your close family members around.

I also read your other threat about your aunt talking badly about your boyfriend, I am married to a wonderful Indian man and we live in Europe but especially his family in India was very much against our relationship and he had to endure similar talk from his relatives. It was truly aweful but it is basically just ignorance talking and please try to not let it get to you.

I wish you all the best
Double helix
Double Helix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th February 2019, 3:20 AM   #51
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by Double Helix View Post
Hey Shauna,

I usually donít really write much here but I just wanted to say that you sound like a wonderful person and loving girlfriend. I can not even imagine how difficult this time must be for you and also of course for your boyfriend. I hope you heard from him by now? I wish you both a lot of strength!!!

It is really good that you have family coming over soon to support you, I have also lived abroad for many years and I know how it is to not have your close family members around.

I also read your other threat about your aunt talking badly about your boyfriend, I am married to a wonderful Indian man and we live in Europe but especially his family in India was very much against our relationship and he had to endure similar talk from his relatives. It was truly aweful but it is basically just ignorance talking and please try to not let it get to you.

I wish you all the best
Double helix
Thank you. I'll be glad when today is over as this assignment will be over and I've now got tomorrow/friday off. My mum and aunt are now flying over tomorrow so that will help.

I've not heard from my boyfriend yet. Its 0720 here. I don't think he is awake but I am worried
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th February 2019, 3:48 AM   #52
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,855
I really don't think you can read anything into his lack of a response--other than he probably isn't feeling great and he just is taking quiet time ... and what the nurses say, he's sleeping.

He might act a little strange in the next few days ... My ex really thought I was going to dump her (totally feared that) after she got diagnosed with cancer.

Great call.

Great job to ring up his best friend ... and to bring your mum and aunt.

The more the merrier ... and others feel good at helping like this ... because in the backs of our minds we know that one day, we're going to need people to visit us in the hospital.
Lotsgoingon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th February 2019, 5:43 PM   #53
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lotsgoingon View Post
I really don't think you can read anything into his lack of a response--other than he probably isn't feeling great and he just is taking quiet time ... and what the nurses say, he's sleeping.

He might act a little strange in the next few days ... My ex really thought I was going to dump her (totally feared that) after she got diagnosed with cancer.

Great call.

Great job to ring up his best friend ... and to bring your mum and aunt.

The more the merrier ... and others feel good at helping like this ... because in the backs of our minds we know that one day, we're going to need people to visit us in the hospital.
He messaged once today. Just said "Down day" I'm home now and its too late to go so I'll do the stuff I need to and go spend the day with him before my mum and aunt come.

I'm thinking of going to see his mum and dad tomorrow see how they are and such.

I do feel the bad girlfriend though
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th February 2019, 5:55 PM   #54
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
Today has been a crazy day.

I was at the hospital. My Mum come and my aunt stayed at my boyfriends to do my washing and other chores.

The specialist come to discuss the results of his biopsy. My mum said she'd give us some space to talk to the specialist. He confirmed it is CNS Lymphoma. However they have a treatment plan and they want to start straight away. They said there was a small possibility they may need to operate but want to try chemotherapy first.

The doctor talked more about what will happen and we asked a lot of questions. I just held his hand. I asked the survival rates. The specialist said they are getting better and to remain positive. He said he would give me and my boyfriend space and time to talk over things. My mum said the doctor said to her to leave us a lone for a bit.

I admit I cried a lot. My boyfriend said "Look if things do wrong, I've made sure you are looked after." Hands me an envelope and tells me to keep it safe and only open it if the worst happens. I cried some more and we talked about things.

I say I'll go get us some coffee the nurse asks if I'm ok I say yeah, come back and the nurse asks to speak to me privately. She says after the meeting she's concerned about me I said got checked the other night and she replies "We need to look after you too. Heres the doctor lets make sure" and they start asking me all sorts of stuff.

The Macmillian nurse did come to see us. Talked about finances, treatments, emotions and such. She suggested I might be able to claim government assistance, but I feel its wrong of me to even think of claiming it.

My mum says we should go this evening, and we are back here she made me eat and have a bath to try and relax.

I'm going to be honest I don't know how I'm keeping going and such.

I feel I'm a bad girlfriend like I'm not doing enough
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th February 2019, 9:16 PM   #55
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,958
It sounds to me that you are a great girlfriend. This is a really terrible position to be in. You have to take care of yourself, and that includes maintaining your ability to support yourself so you aren't free to be with him 24/7. He knows that.

Take advantage of all the resources offered. Discuss it with your mother and anyone else you trust.

A cancer diagnosis for someone you love is shattering, it takes a while to come to terms with things. If there is any way to take a short break from your job without jeopardizing your position maybe you should consider that.
Finding my way is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2019, 3:28 AM   #56
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finding my way View Post
It sounds to me that you are a great girlfriend. This is a really terrible position to be in. You have to take care of yourself, and that includes maintaining your ability to support yourself so you aren't free to be with him 24/7. He knows that.

Take advantage of all the resources offered. Discuss it with your mother and anyone else you trust.

A cancer diagnosis for someone you love is shattering, it takes a while to come to terms with things. If there is any way to take a short break from your job without jeopardizing your position maybe you should consider that.
Thank you. I know I need to take care of myself. I just have so much running my mind and going on it anything I need kind of gets ignored. I really want to go to the hairdressers. Mum says I should just go. My boyfriend tells me I should go out with my mum and aunt and relax. I just don't want him being on his own, He does say he'll be ok.

As for holidays, I can take some leave or work from home jobs. However my dispatcher will try and ignore working from home and send me to client sites. I'll have a chat with my manager see what we can do.

I know my boyfriends work are asking him to come back because he isn't being fair on his colleagues.
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2019, 3:45 PM   #57
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
So I had a chat with my boyfriend about things and how I want to get my hair done and such. He thinks its a good idea gets me to book in to a hairdressers and to get my hair done and some other treatments. He paid for it too. I feel really really bad he has done this.

My mum suggested that we go out for food and a few drinks tonight. Help me take my mind off things. He said to put it on his card as he wants to treat me.

He is generous but this is very generous of him

I feel really bad! I'm worried he will be all alone tonight. He said is fixing a laptop for one of the nurses.
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2019, 10:07 PM   #58
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,958
It probably makes him feel better knowing you're out taking care of yourself, having a good meal, visiting with your mother. And it probably makes him feel good to pay for some things for you, to treat you.

So look at it as letting him feel good about doing something for you and maybe not worrying so much about how you are holding up. It's good for both of you.
Finding my way is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 1:32 PM   #59
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finding my way View Post
It probably makes him feel better knowing you're out taking care of yourself, having a good meal, visiting with your mother. And it probably makes him feel good to pay for some things for you, to treat you.

So look at it as letting him feel good about doing something for you and maybe not worrying so much about how you are holding up. It's good for both of you.
I get that I just feel bad spending his money. Of course he will see me after the hair dressers/treatments but what else will he benefit from this.

Im just really worried about everything and him. I wish he wasn't in the hospital

I did have a nice sleep though and eating breakfast was good. I suppose thats a plus, I wish I could have spent my night with him.

I'm also a bit upset about valentines day. I want to be able to do something that isn't limited to the hospital grounds.

Do I sound bad?
ShaunaN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 2:29 PM   #60
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 3,476
Just chiming in to give a few words of support. Have you looked into support groups for those with the same condition? I think it would lessen your anxiety if youíre more knowledgeable about what to expect in each stage. You can also also learn some helpful tips from their experiences.

(((Hug)))
JuneL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
After date text or no after date text whatwhit Dating 20 24th February 2017 5:39 PM
Why did guy lose interest after second date after liking me so much on first date? ilovemusic3 Dating 21 10th January 2016 5:20 AM
Boy goes to mental hospital, boy meets girl... who works at the hospital... Cowboyninapiraterobo Dating 9 7th October 2012 5:28 PM
Didnt call friend after hospital app not fallen out big time!! wildtrac77 Friendship 4 12th November 2011 5:24 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:11 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.