Acerboy Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Guys, Does the level of education play any role in your dating life? As a woman, would you consider going out with a college drop out or someone who's less educated than you? What if the sexes are reversed? Would you, as a man, go out with a college dropout or woman who holds a lesser degree? I would appreciate any thoughts. Thanks! Edit: By college dropout, I don't mean the Bill Gates type of college dropout. I am talking about those who were failing and eventually quit or the system kicked them out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 For eleven years I lived with a man who couldn't handle the system and only had a GED. It was years later that I figured out he was functionally illiterate and barely able to function when it came to filling out paperwork, setting up email, reading important documents. It was later in life that I met and married someone with multiple degrees so yes, for me, the level of education ended up being important. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Guys, Does the level of education play any role in your dating life? As a woman, would you consider going out with a college drop out or someone who's less educated than you? Sure, and I did. But I have found out the hard way that what matters more than the number of degrees two people have is the basic value placed on education itself. If we're not on the same page with that, it isn't going to work out. I've worked hard to achieve what I have, academically - and it isn't fun to have my hard work disparaged. This has happened and it's a no-go. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
IslandDude Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 For me it's less about their formal education and more about where they are in life and how smart they are on their own. If somebody dropped out to go smoke weed or something then that's one thing but many people drop out just because college isn't for them and they don't need it for what they want to do. I dropped out of college because I was already working in a profession I wanted to be in and realized having that piece of paper wasn't go to help me at all. Now I consider myself to be pretty successful and know that I am happier and make more money than many of my college degree earning friends. It's really just about the person and what they've done with their life. Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Guys, Does the level of education play any role in your dating life? As a woman, would you consider going out with a college drop out or someone who's less educated than you? What if the sexes are reversed? Would you, as a man, go out with a college dropout or woman who holds a lesser degree? I would appreciate any thoughts. Thanks! Edit: By college dropout, I don't mean the Bill Gates type of college dropout. I am talking about those who were failing and eventually quit or the system kicked them out. Level of education plays a major role in my life. I would not consider going with a college drop out or anyone less educated than I am. I am a female but I think it goes both ways. If I was a man, I would feel the same. If you were "failing and got kicked out" this makes it 10X worse. WTH where they doing to not make it?. I get it school is not for everyone, but honestly is not that difficult. All it really takes is some dedication. When a man approaches me but tells me that he has an occupation without an education and not a career you must believe I am turning the opposite way instantly. I don't care if you look like prince charming, you wont be charming in my eyes. Although some people don't need an "education" to land in a descent paying job doesn't mean that they are educated and that is a must for me. This may work for some but it wont work for most. It's the same as saying a celebrity marrying someone who is just a regular person. It won't work out PERIOD. Eventually someone will start pushing back for something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 A tricky subject if there ever was one. And I wish I could say that I have the answer for you, but I don't. I have been dumped by every man I have ever been with. They have included white collar, educated men, blue collar, working class men, men in the arts, rich men, poor men, etc. They were all equally as abusive towards me in their ending of the relationship and ended up with trashy girls who were, quite honestly, what they deserved to be with. And some just ghosted, some broke it off via email / text message. There is no answer as to how/why as far as I can see. It's all relative, it depends on the maturity, intellect and development of the person before you. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I have always been predominantly attracted to women who pursue knowledge in whatever form. A wonderment for beauty in art, the workings of physics, a true understanding of biology, or a flair for elegant elocution is a turn on for me. Outer beauty is determined for me at the glance, but if someone is dull witted, I lose interest in them and their beauty, for me, fades with each conversation. Kindness and intelligence are values I need for attraction. I don't necessarily think a degree or degrees reflect intelligence, but it is a good indicator of a thirst for knowledge which is also attractive to me. May I ask what this pertains to? Grumpy 7 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 When I was younger, possibly. There's a quiet desperation in youth that turns a blind eye to what others might deem 'red flags'. Romance, and the first tentative frisson of passion work to create an unrealistic myopia to someone's flaws, and we choose to believe that such hurdles can be overcome. After all, we eat the lie that 'Love Conquers All'. Now I'm older, I can spot a dimwit at 50 paces and give such people a wide berth. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Deceiving and never a good way to judge someone... Take a guy with tattoos, a rugged appearance and callused hands and you might think he was just out of lockup or just got off a low paying manual labor job...Maybe he has a degree, but..... What you didn't know is that guy is also a well traveled self made millionaire, entrepreneur, inventor, US Patent holder, with eclectic and varied tastes in literature, music, art. etc.. Yeah, I know a guy just like that..... But seriously....Education doesn't make anyone inherently smart...Degrees don't either...Even if they actually knew their vocation/craft that they went to school to further, they can be nothing more than a One Trick Pony...yuck... You might be surprised how many people with post graduate level education can't operate a household appliance.. The only way you can judge someone's intelligence is to get to know them...See where they have been and what their life experience is.. I have a good friend that has been failing miserably at OLD...The main issue is that the women he meets scoff at the fact that he has nothing more than a HS education...Not that the guy is a rocket scientist, but he is smart enough to navigate a successful adult life and carry a conversation with just about anyone... .02 TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I can tell within a half-hour - often less - whether a guy is ignorant/uneducated, or ignorant/bone-headed. The former holds remedy, the latter has little or no hope. And what he LOOKS like, has nothing to do with it. Judging a book by its cover, is not my bag. But what comes out of a person's mouth? Their attitude? That will tell me all I need to know. And as for the - well traveled self made millionaire, entrepreneur, inventor, US Patent holder, with eclectic and varied tastes in literature, music, art. etc.. I've met guys like that. And simply because they're as above, doesn't mean they have the calibre of grey matter between their ears that necessarily impresses me. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 OP, this subject has come up often here on LS and I offered my perspective on it about a year ago in one discussion and nothing has come about to impel me to alter that perspective. How has education impacted your dating or marital life? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I can tell within a half-hour - often less - whether a guy is ignorant/uneducated, or ignorant/bone-headed. The former holds remedy, the latter has little or no hope. And what he LOOKS like, has nothing to do with it. Judging a book by its cover, is not my bag. But what comes out of a person's mouth? Their attitude? That will tell me all I need to know. And as for the - I've met guys like that. And simply because they're as above, doesn't mean they have the calibre of grey matter between their ears that necessarily impresses me. Of course tastes vary by individual.....but that's really not the point...I've never in my entire life met an accomplished person that was dumb...If you have, well, I take my hat off.. I have met some truly rock dumb and unaccomplished people with multiple degrees though.... Point is no one can really judge a person's capabilities and life experiences by pieces of paper alone...If one attempts to do it this way, say in an attempt to find a suitable mate, they may be leaving something on the table... Maybe we agree there??, but I dunno...*shrug* TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I guess people with higher level education would value it more and people who doesn't have a degree would tell you it's not that important, generally speaking of course Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Level of education plays a major role in my life. I would not consider going with a college drop out or anyone less educated than I am. I am a female but I think it goes both ways. If I was a man, I would feel the same. If you were "failing and got kicked out" this makes it 10X worse. WTH where they doing to not make it?. I get it school is not for everyone, but honestly is not that difficult. All it really takes is some dedication. When a man approaches me but tells me that he has an occupation without an education and not a career you must believe I am turning the opposite way instantly. I don't care if you look like prince charming, you wont be charming in my eyes. Although some people don't need an "education" to land in a descent paying job doesn't mean that they are educated and that is a must for me. This may work for some but it wont work for most. It's the same as saying a celebrity marrying someone who is just a regular person. It won't work out PERIOD. Eventually someone will start pushing back for something. I feel the same way. I don't have to be with someone that's as educated as me, but a college degree is a must. Post graduate degree is preferable. It's not really about the money for me. It's about pursuit of knowledge. It's about ambition and commitment to finish what was started. It's also much more likely that such a man will be cultured, have more refined taste in just about everything and sense of humor that matches mine. One of my biggest turn offs in a man is crassness I have tried many times and I can't be with someone that's not educated. Unfortunately, high % of men on OLD are uneducated and nearly all don't have a career. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 (edited) Sure, and I did. But I have found out the hard way that what matters more than the number of degrees two people have is the basic value placed on education itself. If we're not on the same page with that, it isn't going to work out. I've worked hard to achieve what I have, academically - and it isn't fun to have my hard work disparaged. This has happened and it's a no-go. Ditto. I don't necessarily need a man to have the same amount of degrees that I have, but I've found that men who at least have a college degree tend to understand the work I do a lot better, we tend to have more common experiences and worldviews, and overall have more in common in terms of our life paths than those who don't. If someone doesn't value education then it will be impossible for us to be in a relationship. I don't care about your degrees as much as I care about intellectual compatibility and having similar reference points. It happens that, for obvious reasons, this tends to happen with men who have similar educational experiences as me. It's not just about being smart or formal education, but the experience of college itself, graduate school, professional schools etc provides you with a range of other social experiences that shape you in other kinds of ways. For better or worse there is a whole other cultural competence and social capital that comes along with it that you learn and gain overtime and like any other compatibility thing, people with similar reference points (culturally, economically, educationally etc) tend to fare better than ones where the gap is too big. Edited May 18, 2016 by MissBee 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I'd rather have a relationship with someone who had both street smarts AND book smarts. Anyone can become book smart if they apply themselves. It takes a real talent to be both. And you will never be bored with someone who has both. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acerboy Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 I have always been predominantly attracted to women who pursue knowledge in whatever form. A wonderment for beauty in art, the workings of physics, a true understanding of biology, or a flair for elegant elocution is a turn on for me. Outer beauty is determined for me at the glance, but if someone is dull witted, I lose interest in them and their beauty, for me, fades with each conversation. Kindness and intelligence are values I need for attraction. I don't necessarily think a degree or degrees reflect intelligence, but it is a good indicator of a thirst for knowledge which is also attractive to me. May I ask what this pertains to? Grumpy I recently found a woman that I like. I haven't made any move yet. I just discovered that she is a college dropout and I am losing interest. I thought I was being superficial. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 ]Of course tastes vary by individual.....but that's really not the point...I've never in my entire life met an accomplished person that was dumb...If you have, well, I take my hat off.. I have met some truly rock dumb and unaccomplished people with multiple degrees though... That was also my point.... Point is no one can really judge a person's capabilities and life experiences by pieces of paper alone...If one attempts to do it this way, say in an attempt to find a suitable mate, they may be leaving something on the table... People can be educationally smart, but suck on a social/intergrational level... They may well be equipped with highly-educated grey matter, but be stone-ignorant on a personality scale.... Maybe we agree there??, but I dunno...*shrug* I think we ARE agreeing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acerboy Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 When I was younger, possibly. There's a quiet desperation in youth that turns a blind eye to what others might deem 'red flags'. Romance, and the first tentative frisson of passion work to create an unrealistic myopia to someone's flaws, and we choose to believe that such hurdles can be overcome. After all, we eat the lie that 'Love Conquers All'. Now I'm older, I can spot a dimwit at 50 paces and give such people a wide berth. Haha. This made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my chair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acerboy Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 Deceiving and never a good way to judge someone... Take a guy with tattoos, a rugged appearance and callused hands and you might think he was just out of lockup or just got off a low paying manual labor job...Maybe he has a degree, but..... What you didn't know is that guy is also a well traveled self made millionaire, entrepreneur, inventor, US Patent holder, with eclectic and varied tastes in literature, music, art. etc.. Yeah, I know a guy just like that..... But seriously....Education doesn't make anyone inherently smart...Degrees don't either...Even if they actually knew their vocation/craft that they went to school to further, they can be nothing more than a One Trick Pony...yuck... You might be surprised how many people with post graduate level education can't operate a household appliance.. The only way you can judge someone's intelligence is to get to know them...See where they have been and what their life experience is.. I have a good friend that has been failing miserably at OLD...The main issue is that the women he meets scoff at the fact that he has nothing more than a HS education...Not that the guy is a rocket scientist, but he is smart enough to navigate a successful adult life and carry a conversation with just about anyone... .02 TFY Hmm... The guy you described, I mean the one with the tattoo, are very few. Usually it's the college dropout who paint themselves with all those silly tattoos. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 The difference catches up one way or the other ! If the levels of education is vast and either of them is closed about looking from others pov. Street smart is very important otherwise 10 degrees won't achieve anything in life ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acerboy Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 OP, this subject has come up often here on LS and I offered my perspective on it about a year ago in one discussion and nothing has come about to impel me to alter that perspective. How has education impacted your dating or marital life? I did read that thread. Very interesting. I made this thread because I seem to be at a place and time of my life where I am meeting lots of women who are less educated than me. I also lose interest once I know their educational status and I was beginning to feel bad about it. Reading the comments on this thread has changed my mind a bit. Most of the women here won't tolerate me if I was less educated than them! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I did read that thread. Very interesting. I made this thread because I seem to be at a place and time of my life where I am meeting lots of women who are less educated than me. I also lose interest once I know their educational status and I was beginning to feel bad about it. Reading the comments on this thread has changed my mind a bit. Most of the women here won't tolerate me if I was less educated than them! Not necessarily. It depends on your attitude and purpose, too. A well-educated man may be a total ass-nope. A person who has been bereft, deprived of or been the recipient of a poor education, may be street-smart, charming and sassy. It's KNOWING how to be a whole person, that counts, not wht elevel of Educational Degree you've gained. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 Education matters to me, but more than that, ambition and a take charge attitude is what I find attractive. Someone who doesn't value education and is turned off at the mere idea that their prospective date is more educated than them, as some form of 'inverted snobbery', would also be a non-starter for me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 As I have dated people from various cultures, I know that for many education levels that we take for granted in the West are not possible. It doesn't mean that they don't have that drive or thirst however. You can tell whether someone genuinely takes an interest in many things around them, those very highly educated can be a bit too single minded in this sense because they focus on one or two things (they need to). By the way I hold post graduate qualifications. There are many ways to get educated on lots of different subjects today, you don't really need to go through the traditional channels anymore. In fact, you get brownie points from me if you figure these out. BUT from years of experience: those that don't value reading (regardless how much of it they do themselves) I will not mesh with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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