too2 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I'm looking to upload my profiles on a couple of dating websites. But before I do that, would (or should) I "lie" my age by a few years (younger that is). The thing is I look between 25 to 29 years old (that's what everybody told me; 10 out of 10 people that is). I don't look 35 or even 40 yet. I'm actually a 41-year old man and 5' 10" tall. I'm thinking about listing that I'm 5-years younger (about 35-ish) than my real age to attract more females. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Do not ever lie on a dating site. Think yourself lucky that you are going to stand out because you look young while the rest all look crusty. If you attract someone and they then find out later about you telling fibs it will really put the kibosh on things. Just be honest. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I never understand people that lie in their online profiles. Like what's your end game? Just getting a date, and that's all? Because your goal can't be getting into a serious relationship if you're starting out with a lie. Say you meet a nice woman and you hit if off and all that. You don't think that eventually the cat's gonna be out of the bag? Would you expect your partner to be stupid enough to let it go, even though the relationship is based on a lie? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 It's not "lying"...............it's lying. Be honest about your age, height, income etc. Please don't whore out your own integrity in the hope that somebody from teh interwebz might like you. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 A few posters on here are going to tell you to not lie. But why are you doing this in the first place? Because OLD is a very picky place, so I'm gonna be straight up with you on this. If you're looking for a few hook-ups, it won't hurt to try to fudge a little truth here and there. Plenty of guys do it. If you're looking for something serious...don't lie. Be honest. OLD, in all reality, can be a very shallow place. Try not to take it too personally, many guys here have tried and failed at OLD. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I met someone on OLD who said that they drink rarely. Turns out, they're a full blown alcoholic. Damb... just... ...damb. Really? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Yeah, lie about your age and then watch everyone's expressions when you explain that to them. A lot of people look young for their ages now days. I've personally dealt with that all my life. The thing is, that's really the only advantage the Internet gives you. People can actually know your correct age without making a wrong assumption. What's the purpose in lying about it? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 So imagine this. You lie about your age. After 5 or six dates, things are going really well. So well in fact that you decide to go on vacation together. You get your passport, drivers license etc together and book a holiday. But wait, what's this? You need to enter your date of birth to validate your API and you can't keep up the lie otherwise you'll be refused entry onto the plane. You tell you new girl, oh yeah well actually when I said I was X years old that was actually a lie and I am in fact Y. What is she going to think? He's a liar. If he's lying about that then what else is he lying about? Does he have an STD? Does he have a kid somewhere? Is he still married?!? Just like all the other liars I've met. What a douchebag. Goodbye. So no, do not lie, unless this conversation appeals to you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberrypancake Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 This is ridiculous, why would you lie about your age? Be happy you look young for your age, isn't it about that rather than how old you really are? A real woman will prefer a 41 year old but young looking guy with all his 41year experiences rather than some shallow liar who felt the need to make himself younger in order to score. Ehm.... yeah, absolute deal breaker. Don't do it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You'll be surprised how quickly this will backfire. If you feel the need to lie about something trivial like age, where will it end? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 The best lie is the 'Non-smoker' description on POF, complete with profile pics of them outside a bar, cig in hand. Duuhhhhhh! Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Don't lie about your age. Don't lie about anything about yourself. Just don't. Even though I wasn't on a dating site, I had gone on a popular talk show website to talk about a serious and emotionally hurtful situation that was going on in my marriage at that time. I made the HUGE mistake of creating a fake profile and lied about my age and just about everything else about my life. I wasn't looking to meet anyone or to date anyone, I was just going through such a depressing time of my marriage (and life) that I wanted an "escape", I wanted to talk about my problems with the other people on there being as "anonymous" as possible. Not only that, I wanted to protect my true identity and privacy because I knew that there were severely imbalanced and psychotic dangerous people out there. As I've stated earlier, I wasn't looking to meet ANYONE or to date or to connect with ANYONE. I was just looking for a place to vent my frustrations about my marriage and looking for a place to escape from all of the problems and heartache that my ex-husband was causing me. Long story short...I ended up meeting a guy on one of the forums that I frequently posted on. He was considerably younger than I was, but I didn't know that until we began responding more to each other's posts on the forum. And even after I found out his age (25), I didn't want to reveal my real age to him (I was in my early 40s) because I thought he wouldn't respond to any of my posts anymore; I thought he would think I was "too old". So, I just kept on posting on that forum as a younger person with a completely different life than what I really had. I didn't think there was any harm in doing that because I didn't think that I would ever fall for anyone on there and, most importantly, I didn't think a guy would fall for me or would start to like me and connect with me. Oh boy, was I wrong. This guy ended up liking me because of the way I wrote my posts, the way I expressed myself and for my personality. In turn, I began to like him for the same reasons as well. I NEVER EVER thought in a million years that something like this could (or would) ever happen!!! By the time we fell hard for each other, I was already in too deep. I didn't have the heart or courage to tell him my true age and how depressed and abused I felt in my marriage at that time. We moved our communication from the talk show forum to yahoo messenger and emails. I just couldn't believe the incredible connection we had together and how understanding he was with regard to my outlook on the plague that had destroyed my marriage and my trust. He finally figured out the truth about my real age and I apologized profusely. I told him how I never thought I would meet anyone on that forum, let alone fall in love with someone on there, and what my true intentions were with regard to why I had lied about my age and about basically everything about my life. The only thing that was real was my personality, my outlook on life and the way I felt about him. He was understanding and said that he had no hard feelings about what I did (although in the end it did truly bother him but he hardly brought it up during our time together) but that we could only remain friends. Ever since then, I've been honest about everything about myself and about my life whenever I'm online. This does NOT mean you have to give out personal information to strangers online. It just means that you should be HONEST about the details of your life while still keeping your real name and other private information PRIVATE. This experience that happened REALLY taught me a valuable lesson. And the reason I shared this with you is so you could know just how IMPORTANT it is to be TRUTHFUL when you're communicating with people online. Because, you just NEVER EVER know what can happen during those communications. If you lie about your age (or about ANYTHING ELSE about yourself), a woman who falls for you (and eventually falls in love with you) will feel misled and betrayed if she finds out later that you're really OLDER than you said you were. She'll also feel like a FOOL and will feel as though she had been tricked. Trust me, it's NOT worth it to put someone else (and yourself) through all of that! Just be YOURSELF; online and in real life. Be HONEST and TRUTHFUL about everything about yourself. So, should you meet someone via OLD or IRL and you both begin to connect and like each other, you won't have to worry about (or stress out about) having to tell them the truth - because you have already been honest from the start! Someone on here has told you that if you're only looking for empty, "random" "hookups", then it's "okay" to "fudge" the truth about yourself a little bit. I wholeheartedly DISAGREE with this person's opinion. Lying is tantamount to a piece of **** floating down to the bottom of a pool - eventually...it'll float back up to the surface of the water to reveal itself. My honest advice to you is to be HONEST about everything about yourself. As Judge Judy has once said: When you tell the truth - you don't have to have a good memory! Good luck with OLD and I hope you end up doing the right thing by being HONEST about your age. Looking younger than your age means you have an advantage over most of the other guys on there. . Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You could start by being honest with us. I don't believe you want to lie about your age to 'get more messages'. There is a sheeeet loads of 40 yo women online. You want to cut 5 years off of your age to get younger women. Here is the good new, it's online dating an there are all kinds of people for all kinds of needs. Like bathtub said a lot of people don't look their age, including myself. I could easily cut 10 off but I don't, I don't need to, I get plenty of attention from younger men without cheating on my age, why? Because I got the look they like. If you got the look women aren't gonna care if you are 35 or 41. Men lied to me about their age. It kills the first impression you wouldn't beleive it. Some guy told me he was 43 and in was in fact 53. He gave me the excuse that age is just a number! Well if age is just a number give me the right number!!! The fact he was 53 instead of 43 made no difference to me, the fact he lied to get me to meet him though killed it permanently. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bene Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 As previous posters have said, it is not a good strategy. When you start with a lie it raises red flags like "what else is he lying about?". I have seen someone I know lying about his age on a dating site (probably for the same reasons you mentioned) and it makes me question his motifs of being there. If you start a relationship, the lie would eventually come up anyway. Not caring about it shows that the guy doesn't plan anything serious to come out of it. Also, women usually like confident men. Lying about your age indicates that you are not comfortable with who you are and this is not an attractive quality. I am not saying that all of the above applies to you as a person but this is the impression it gives. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You could start by being honest with us. I don't believe you want to lie about your age to 'get more messages'. There is a sheeeet loads of 40 yo women online. You want to cut 5 years off of your age to get younger women. hehe yes, that is the big advantage to a young looking male or female 41 yr old to drop their age online....to date people in their 30s. Lots more 40s than 30s women on OLD, but if he wants to date a woman in her early/mid 30s he will reduce that 30s market a fair bit more when he has a 4* as his age, even if he is young looking. If he is looking for STRs/flings then he can go for it, but as others have said if he wants a LTR he really can't get away with it. If this guy does look way younger and wants to date younger, then he would be much better off trying to meet women off line, where his age wont be such an instant disqualifier. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Lying is deceiftul. If you start like that youre setting urself up for trouble. If i found out a woman lied about her age id walk away. You cannot build trust on a lot of lies. Youre 41 and thats it. Funny how eryone says they look much younger than their age and i have never seen it with any women i met for a date. 2-3 years at most. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Funny how eryone says they look much younger than their age and i have never seen it with any women i met for a date. 2-3 years at most. 2-3 years at most? lol You mean you can make the difference between a 33 year old and a 35 year old? There is no noticeable difference between someone that is 36 or 38. You start seeing differences after 5 years that is why people talk in terms of 5 years or 10 years. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) I wish I could find the thread of the guy who had been involved with a woman on a dating site for several years to the point where he was going to ask her to marry him. And then he found out she had lied about her age... It all fell apart because he wondered what else she had lied about. It was a really big deal for him and it was a HUGE thread that went on for pages. All his pre-conceived notions about the woman he loved were thrown out the window and he ended up breaking up with her - even after he had bought the ring - because of a silly thing like "lying" about her age. Don't do it. Edited February 23, 2015 by CarrieT 4 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Youthful looks are a killer for men in their 30s so I understand why the OP would do it. I usually have some stubble on my face but I dont really like it as I can only grow a scruffy goatee and not a full beard, so I had a shave for the first time in ages at the weekend and now I look barely 22. Im 34! How is that in any way attractive? Women expect a certain masculine maturity in a mans appearance when he is in his 30s, in fact given the popularity of actors like Sean Connery and George Clooney its not really attractive full stop for a man to look younger than his years, the polar opposite of men being attracted to younger looking women. So on the one hand I fully empathise with the OP, I am in the same boat and as others have said for short term dating then its a useful strategy, for something longer term its just not going to work. Although personally I think the OP is going to struggle with women of his own age with youthful looks- especially on OLD. He will need to 'get his foot in the door' by meeting people in person rather than online where they can instantly see age and appearance and make a snap judgement. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 LOL EVERYONE online looks 10-15 yrs younger than they are and are told so on a regular basis irl. Guess what OP, people lie, they tell white lies to be polite. At 41 you DO NOT look 25, I am 99.9% sure of it. Esp if you are a white male. Don't lie, it's unbecoming. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You don't lie on dating sites if you hope to have a relationship develop with someone eventually. You will have to reveal the lie eventually, and it will make your ethics appear questionable. It can be a deal-breaker, and rightly so. If you're only looking to hook up with no chance of a relationship, and are only using adult-type dating sites, then do whatever gets you laid. There, people are just looking for fun, not relationships - well, most, anyway. Even so, wouldn't it be better to be accepted for who you are? Tell the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 2-3 years at most? lol You mean you can make the difference between a 33 year old and a 35 year old? There is no noticeable difference between someone that is 36 or 38. You start seeing differences after 5 years that is why people talk in terms of 5 years or 10 years. women ask "how old do I look?" Well they dont like me because im quite accurate In guessing. they looked 2-3 younger at most If at all. I dont believe it when a person says they look so much younger than their age. Ive dated too much already so ive seen it with my own eyes. Actually after bodybuilding for a few years now i will say i actually look older. I look more my age than before. I didnt have a mans body and I hardly had hair on my body. I looked very young and i hated it. Now i look much closer to my age. I dont care to look younger than my age at all. I do pretty well attracting young girls regardless of my age. If you look good age is peanuts. And of course you can see 1-2 years difference. I see chnages in me from day to day Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 LOL EVERYONE online looks 10-15 yrs younger than they are and are told so on a regular basis irl. Guess what OP, people lie, they tell white lies to be polite. At 41 you DO NOT look 25, I am 99.9% sure of it. Esp if you are a white male. Don't lie, it's unbecoming. Hahahahahahaha for sure. 41 looking like a 25. I guess if you say it enough times in a mirror you can believe anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) OP, if you really want to lie then lower your age by 5 years and then on the first date mention that you'll actually 41 or whatever. The first date I got from POF the girl said she was 20 (I think I was 21 at that time) but in the first 10 minutes of our date she said that she's actually turning 18 in 2 weeks . In the UK I think about half of all the girls that are '18' are under 18 ;/ Don't lie too much, and drop the truth to her during a peak moment of the 1st date (best and only chance of getting away with it) LOL EVERYONE online looks 10-15 yrs younger than they are and are told so on a regular basis irl. Guess what OP, people lie, they tell white lies to be polite. At 41 you DO NOT look 25, I am 99.9% sure of it. Esp if you are a white male. Don't lie, it's unbecoming. I know right, everyone says they look younger. I don't know any girl that thinks they look their age but this guy is crazy (41 looks like 25 yeah right gtfo). OP do you have receding or thinning hair? Any wrinkles around your eyes? Any greys? Beer or barrel gut? Yeah you don't look 25 bro. I'm 26 and even I don't think I look 25. Edited February 23, 2015 by wb1988 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You'll be surprised how quickly this will backfire. If you feel the need to lie about something trivial like age, where will it end? "Quickly" being the operative word, as all they have to do is google you and websites like Spokeo.com, Intellius.com, among others, will pop up which indicate your real age. Or some websites will say you're in your "early 40's". Imagine the surprise upon discovering the person you just agreed to meet, whose profile states he is 35, is actually in his early 40's! BUSTED!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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