ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I'm confused. I met this bartender where he works and one night he asked me out (he knows a little bit about me since he had added me on FB and we had talked a little beforehand). Then he was like, since you and I have polar opposites schedules, that will have to wait until I get a day off. Granted he works 6 nights a week and I have a 9-5 but seriously, why on earth did he ask me out only to tell me to wait until he has an "entire day off"? Since when do people do need an entire day for a date that would last an hour or two?! The worst part of it all is that I thought he asked me out just to get a high tip, but he declined my (generous) tip (I gave him the bill and he didn't want to take it) and refused to make me pay for the drink I ordered. This doesn't make any sense. What's going on here? Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 maybe because he has to sleep all day if he works all night. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 What's going on? Your nitpicking, micro analyzing, and over thinking. Just wait until the dude has what he considers to be enough time to be comfortable taking you out. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 wow holy overthinking it! he needs the day off because he is sleeping while you are at work and you are sleeping when he is at work. like what about this is confusing? lol hello. he's figuring you will hang out AT NIGHT when he is normally AT WORK. so he needs the night OFF WORK to see you. make sense? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 When you work nights you don't get a half day off or even a few hours off, bartenders go to work and are there till they get off and then go to sleep unless it is their day off.. So if you want to date the guy you will have to wait till he has a day off.. it sounds like he is interested in you... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Is this a real question? It's not that difficult: He sleeps in the day. You don't. He works at night. You don't. *facepalm* Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I think; He was being nice, but as you can sense, lukewarm. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Is this a real question? It's not that difficult: He sleeps in the day. You don't. He works at night. You don't. *facepalm* This. You are really not being considerate of his work schedule compared to yours. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Well seeing as you work until 5 - we can assume the date would start at around 7. Assuming he starts working at 9, I'm guessing the point of the day off is to have a chance at making the date longer than 2 hours... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I think; He was being nice, but as you can sense, lukewarm. That's the reason I asked. Why would he asked me out just to be "nice"? I didn't ask me out, he did. Then, why come up with some random excuse?! He should have never asked me out in the first place. How is asking someone out on your free will is acting nice? I did not force the man to ask me out. We're adults. I met plenty of men who were not into me and did not ask me out (again). It makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 This. You are really not being considerate of his work schedule compared to yours. Hum. I understand he has to work. But don't bartenders have their own version of "weekends" every week?! That's what I'm asking myself. Oh and he works 5pm to 3am. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennon Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I'm a bartender and my roster is usually scheduled to working nights 5 to 6 nights a week. I come home from work around 3ish or later and you just can't switch off and just jump into bed and sleep after running around for 8 to 10 hours or more on your feet serving drinks. So I usually mess about on facebook, listen to music, smoke one or two cigarettes, ( off them from today, just bought an electronic cigarette a couple of hours ago), maybe have a beer or whiskey to help me nod off. I usually fall asleep after arriving home from work around 5 or 6 in the morning. He needs to rest before your date thats why he needs an entire day off which means he wants to be his best self for you when you do go on a date. He doesn't want to be a walking zombie. He wants to be a hundred percent for you. So is that not a good thing. Don't be so critical, I'm getting out of this bartending craic later on this year myself, my bodyclock is the complete opposite of most people, becoming a bit of a pain. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Hum. I understand he has to work. But don't bartenders have their own version of "weekends" every week?! That's what I'm asking myself. Oh and he works 5pm to 3am. Yes. It's usually Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday. I've been on a date on a Tuesday. It sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 That's the reason I asked. Why would he asked me out just to be "nice"? I didn't ask me out, he did. Then, why come up with some random excuse?! He should have never asked me out in the first place. How is asking someone out on your free will is acting nice? I did not force the man to ask me out. We're adults. I met plenty of men who were not into me and did not ask me out (again). It makes sense. Good heavens, you're making an awful lot of assumptions! You seem to be convinced he doesn't really want to date you, and you barely know him. Why are you leaping to conclusions? Holy drama-lama. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennon Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I work to a consistently changing roster. My hours change every week. Having two days off in a row is rare and its like winning the lottery and having a mini holiday. I used to love having this "weekend", just so i could spend time with my now ex girlfriend, now with two days off i don't really know what to do with myself? Usually spend them sleeping, I need to get more active :/ I usually have one or two days off a week but not following one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennon Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Yes. It's usually Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday. I've been on a date on a Tuesday. It sucks. Tuesday night in Dublin city is actually a very good night of the week to go to clubs or bars, along with nearly every other day of the week in Dublin. :] I suppose maybe it sucks if you have to work the following morning though Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 That's the reason I asked. Why would he asked me out just to be "nice"? I didn't ask me out, he did. Then, why come up with some random excuse?! He should have never asked me out in the first place. How is asking someone out on your free will is acting nice? I did not force the man to ask me out. We're adults. I met plenty of men who were not into me and did not ask me out (again). It makes sense. Good Lord! Tell the poor guy no thanks already. Guys, how many of you have exclaimed "if only I'd known!" after a disastrous few dates or breakup? That's probably what this poor sap will be saying soon enough. OP, he does not need to give you an explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Chillax. That's what I'm thinking internally after what someone said in a post on here. It's not necessarily reflective of how I act as a person. Anyway, I'll just have to wait patiently then. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Maybe he spends a long time in the bathroom getting ready? I have be known to lose track of time when applying a light layer of foundation, only to compliment my olive hue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Maybe he spends a long time in the bathroom getting ready? I have be known to lose track of time when applying a light layer of foundation, only to compliment my olive hue. Hahaha. Funny! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Maybe he spends a long time in the bathroom getting ready? I have be known to lose track of time when applying a light layer of foundation, only to compliment my olive hue. I was thinking maybe he needed a full body waxing and needs a day for the sting to subside. Or maybe he needs to see his mechanic to have his toenails sanded down and buffed and he has to be worked in between tuneup's and bumping out rocker panels. OP I hope you go on the date and have a great time --- and stay relaxed! . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I was thinking maybe he needed a full body waxing and needs a day for the sting to subside. Or maybe he needs to see his mechanic to have his toenails sanded down and buffed and he has to be worked in between tuneup's and bumping out rocker panels. OP I hope you go on the date and have a great time --- and stay relaxed! . Haha. You guys are hilarious. That being said, I'd highly doubt he'd be the type to wax but you never know hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 That's the reason I asked. Why would he asked me out just to be "nice"? I didn't ask me out, he did. Then, why come up with some random excuse?! He should have never asked me out in the first place. How is asking someone out on your free will is acting nice? I did not force the man to ask me out. We're adults. I met plenty of men who were not into me and did not ask me out (again). It makes sense. No, I don't think he said an excuse. He probably meant it, and as it seems he likes you, but in "lukewarm" mode (for now at least). Link to post Share on other sites
halflight Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 He clearly wants to be well rested enough to give you his full attention on the date. Bar tending is a physically demanding job. Try to be a little more understanding. As for him not accepting your tip and not letting you pay for your drinks, that's adorable and extremely gentlemanly. Don't over analyze it. He sounds like a sweet guy. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Oh and he works 5pm to 3am. If you want to see him, YOU take the day off. Problem sorted! Link to post Share on other sites
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