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Woman rejected me because I am white.

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Old 18th May 2016, 12:41 PM   #106
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Sorry going through that man. I see everyone's already done a good job of explaining what you should so I'll be short. Don't take it personal and don't read into more than it needs to be. Everyone has their own interests and attractions I've asked out a few girls that wouldn't date me because I'm African American. I've even dated women whoms parents did not approve of me for the same reason.

On the contrary I prefer to date only outside of my race, Its not personal it's preference.

Move forward and find a women much into your age group. I've dated an older woman and it didn't work out very well. I also totally agree with what people have said about dating in your workplace. DONT!

It will be awkward...

You may be Jealous if they talk to other coworkers...(unless your confident.)

If you breakup, it will be difficult to do your job and you may not be able to avoid them.
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts."- Albert Einstein
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Old 18th May 2016, 6:18 PM   #107
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
this means she's keeping the peace at work so it won't be awkward and uncomfortable. Glad you see that she's doing this platonic and not some hint that she's into you. Many guys would still try to go for it regardless of past failures.
Thanks for the credit.

Thank you to you other guys too.

It's hard because I feel like I am in high school again, I have butterflies in my stomach and everything, it feels like a first crush and I don't understand why I am into this woman so much. I want to spend time with her so bad and to see her face and smile and hear her voice. I don't need to date her I just want to spend time with her.

She is acting more friendly then before the rejection and I am a little confused because I am not sure if she is using my infatuation to her advantage or if it is her just trying to be friendly, but why extra friendly? I guess she had a falling out with another female employee before and they don't get along. So she came up to me today and said in a very low voice if I can always deliver these items to her nemesis every day when they come in, it's a very menial task. I didn't ask her why or any thing I just said sure OK with a stupid goofy smile on my face. I could tell from her whisper like voice and body language that it was some sort of rift between them.

I take that as a sign that she trusts me.
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Old 19th May 2016, 1:03 AM   #108
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Originally Posted by ashteller View Post
This point of the thread is to know if it is possible for someone to be so guarded and caught off guard when asked out that they defensively rejection the you but then after letting it sink in they start to feel an attraction toward you since they know they have a chance with you since you are attracted to them? If she felt unattractive before and built up such a strong defense to block out pain maybe it is possible she will let it down knowing possible love exists?
That you have to do all these mental gymnastics to find a reason for her to be attracted to you, should tell you all you need to know. The main thing you seem shocked about is that not all women are attracted to the abercrombie model look. Get used to it bro. It's a blow to the ego, but not all women are into that look. Some women like the ripped male model look, some like the big bear look and everything in between.

She's not into you. Woman rarely tell the real reasons, so count yourself lucky. Sometimes they will if you keep bugging them after they've tried being nice about it. At the end of the day, she's given you a reason you can do nothing about, you're white. Maybe its the truth, maybe its not. What she's really telling you is you have no chance.

We've all played the naive guy that thinks if you just keep trying, you'll break her will, she'll see you for the great guy you are, and fall head over heels. It will never happen bro. If you don't accept the rejection, you'll get into the "want what I can't have" mindset and you'll get more and more infatuated. Vicious cycle. Most of us have been there. Best thing to do is find someone else. Don't hang out with her at work or chit chat. Just keep it work related and move on.
If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants. - Newton
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Old 19th May 2016, 7:19 PM   #109
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Sorry for being a pain over this. It's just confusing for me to deal with this at work especially since it's my first experience like this in a work setting.

Plus she got me, she got me real good.
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