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Live alone or stay with mom


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Old 29th January 2019, 11:40 AM   #1
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Live alone or stay with mom

I live with my mom. I'm 44 have a mental health disability. And just got word a subsidized apartment has opened for me. I scared to live alone but want my independence. My mom wants me to stay living with her. My therapist case manager etc think I'll be fine on my own. I work part time and want to keep my job. I'm in two group therapies and one individual. I worry about relapsing. I hear voices when I'm too isolated. Thoughts?
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Old 29th January 2019, 11:43 AM   #2
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It’s a tough call but if your mental health could deteriorate by being all alone and your mom will gladly have you then I’d say it’s probably best if you stay where you are.
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Old 29th January 2019, 11:44 AM   #3
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Perhaps a good intermediate step would be to live with a roommate?
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Old 29th January 2019, 3:38 PM   #4
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The reality is you mom will not be alive to help you throughout your life. Working to an independent situation with her help now may be your best chance at independence.
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Old 29th January 2019, 3:50 PM   #5
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Living all alone is not what it's cracked up to be. Especially if you hear voices when you are too isolated, I don't think you should risk it.

Instead set up some ground rules with mom to preserve & maintain your independence but continue living with her . . . just live your life as you see fit while maintaining the same address as her. There will be plenty of time for you to live alone after she passes on. Then you will regret not spending more time with her. My own mother died 8 years ago this month & I miss her dearly.

Granted when you were trying to distance yourself from that bad guy you were dating you were waiting for this living situation to open up. I suppose you could try it but make sure you can move home again if he doesn't work out.

Do have a plan in place to fill the loneliness.
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Old 29th January 2019, 5:05 PM   #6
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have a trial period living independently of 1 to 3 months and see how it goes....
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Old 29th January 2019, 5:15 PM   #7
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Talk with your therapist about putting strategies in place to manage becoming too isolated. Among other things, perhaps your mom could visit you twice a week?
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Old 29th January 2019, 5:16 PM   #8
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baby steps, baby steps
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Old 29th January 2019, 5:36 PM   #9
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Take the apartment, but stay over at mom's a couple nights a week if you feel too lonely?
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Old 29th January 2019, 6:56 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine View Post
Thoughts?
Without knowing the specifics of your history and diagnosis, this isn't a decision strangers on the Internet can help you with.

If you have a good relationship with your team of Therapist, Case Manager, etc., you should voice your concerns to them and trust their guidance...

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Old 30th January 2019, 9:50 AM   #11
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The reality is you mom will not be alive to help you throughout your life. Working to an independent situation with her help now may be your best chance at independence.
That is my thinking. She had a heart attack 2 years ago. My dad died of heart disease 14 years ago, that's what started my mental illness.

My therapist, case manager, group friends all say I can live alone. I just have fears. I've built up my life, I don't want to tear it down again. I do plan to visit her regularly, but I didn't think of the overnight, I like that idea.
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Old 30th January 2019, 10:02 AM   #12
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That is my thinking. She had a heart attack 2 years ago. My dad died of heart disease 14 years ago, that's what started my mental illness.

My therapist, case manager, group friends all say I can live alone. I just have fears. I've built up my life, I don't want to tear it down again. I do plan to visit her regularly, but I didn't think of the overnight, I like that idea.
You just need to have a plan in place so that you know who to call/when to go and visit your mother when you feel isolated. Find things to do during the day to keep you productive and engaged. Work is good. Therapy is good. Hobbies would be good... talk to your therapist and make a plan. Good luck.
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Old 30th January 2019, 1:06 PM   #13
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Your mom isn't going to be around forever. I'd give a try and see how you do.

As far as the voices in your head, what do they say?? Do they tell you to do evil things or go have another cookie??
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Old 30th January 2019, 2:02 PM   #14
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As far as the voices in your head, what do they say?? Do they tell you to do evil things or go have another cookie??
don't make fun of her HL :augh:
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Old 30th January 2019, 3:33 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
Your mom isn't going to be around forever. I'd give a try and see how you do.

As far as the voices in your head, what do they say?? Do they tell you to do evil things or go have another cookie??
I was hearing my dad's voice. Than it expanded. I read the bible a lot during a break and pray more. Hoping God would make it stop. I exercise more and eat less. Because I'm told certain foods don't work with my body. I have photos showing spirits around me. They tell me all kinds of things that help me write lyrics. Meds stop the voices, and no I haven't been told to hurt and I don't always listen to them.
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