Right Now I'm Going Through A Really Rough Time W/my Boyfriend. Before We Met (4 Years Ago) He Told Me That He Had A Really Bad Coke Problem, But Was Able To Overcome It. I Was Happy To Hear That Cause, I Have No Tolerance For Drugs. Well, Last Summer (05), He Admitted To Doing It (in August) For The Past Two Months (he Started In June, 05). I Told Him I Would Not Put Up W/that **** And He Better Stop. He Promised He Would And Sat There And Cried W/me And Told Me, Its A Horrible Thing To Do And He Is So Sorry And Would Never Do It Again. Since Then, I've Noticed Myself To Become This Crazy Sneaky Girl Who Is Always Checking His Wallet, Clothes, Car, Bedroom, Garbage Cans, So I Can Find Stuff. A Couple Time I Have Found Stuff. One Time I Found A Straw In My Garbage (he Told Me It Was From Way Before And Was Cleaning His Car Out And Decided To Throw It Away. One Time He Was In The Bathroom (supposively Pooping) And Came Out 5 Min. Later, And I Went In And His Credit Card Was Laying On The Bathroom Floor. He Said It Was There Because He Was Cleaning His Wallet Out W/all The Business Cards He Receives From Work And Must Have Dropped The Credit Card. About One Month Ago, I Found A Broken Pen Piece That Resembled A Straw On His Floor. When I Asked What That Was, He Said Looks Like A Broken Pen. I Said It Looks Like It Was Broken On Purpose And He Started To Flip Out. Last Week, While He Was In The Shower, I Decided To Check His Coat Pockets While He Was In The Shower. He Has An Inside Secret Pocket So I Went In There. I Found A Rolled Up 20 Bill (resembling A Straw Structure). I Then Asked Him If He Had Money, And He Said No, And I Was Like Well Let Me Check Your Coat Pockets, When I Pulled It Out And Said Something To Him, And He Was Like I Know What It Looks Like, But I Haven't Touched That Crap In A Long Time. I Didn't Know It Was There. Somebody Please Help Me. Does This Sound Like He Is Definately Using? What Are The Signs Somebody Is Using?
The Other Day, I Found A Straw In My Bf's Pocket. I Went Off On Him And Told Him To Stop Lying To Me And Admit What He's Been Doing. He Claims That Someone Gave Him A Very Little To Try The One Day And That Was All He Did. (he Was Doing It Basically All Of June, July, And August Of 05. He Claimed His Last Use Was Labor Day Weekend). And Then Of Course This Past Week. I Don't Believe Him At All. I Decided To Check His Cell Phone A Couple Days After That And Noticed That He Was Reciving Calls On 3/6/06 And Making Calls Around 6:30am To 7:30am. Now, He Worked Sunday (from 12:00pm To 12:00am), So I Would Think At That Time He Would Be Sleeping. I'm Afraid To Ask, Because Then He Knows I've Been Snooping Around W/his Stuff. I Don't Know What To Do I Notice Myself Becoming So Sick To My Stomach All The Time. Whenever He's Not Around I'm Searching Everything.
You can't do anything to get him to stop. And no one does "just a little bit" of cocaine. It's not like that. You do a little and then you want more. I'm not sure what it is you want - to convince him to get sober? Stop lying to you? Those are things HE has to decide to do on his own and you can't convince him to. Especially if he's already used to lying to you and you accepting his lies.
If you spend all your time upset and worried in a relationship it's time to re-evaluate exactly why you're IN that relationship.
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I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
I want to know the signs/symptoms/hiding places that all relate to coke. Everybody tells me I can't say a word unless I know for sure. If he is using on a weekly, daily or even monthly basis, i will end the relationship. this has been 2 painful. I know all of his friends use, so i never want him going out w/them, and that always ends in an argument. I want to know from all of you if it sounds like he's still using? Whenever I confront him he gets so mad and I don't know how to handle it. I love him so much and i'm totally lost right now!
It sounds like it to me, but who knows. How do you confront him? I hope in a non agressive manner. Defensiveness is a sign that he's doing it and lying to you.
--rolled up bills (like a straw) [clear sign]
--credit cards a bit sticky (but usually users clean up well)
--runny or stuffed up nose for just a day (or a long time if used frequently).
--tips of plastic bags in the trash can.
--nervousness
--"big eyes"
--not sleeping well
--irritability.
Okay now honestly most who use (okay from personal experience......I both smoked cracked and more recently am recovering from snorting coke which became a big problem for me from using to selling to being in big federal trouble (long complicated story).
Anyway it's hard to find signs because most who use become paranoid and hide/clean-up any evidence. You can't "convince" him to get clean...he has to want to and if you want to help him "comfronting him or accusing him" I doubt will help much........talk to him....ask him if he relasped why in fact he did.....if you can be there for him then let him know that.
You "not tolerating" his drug use isn't going to affect his use....honestly it's his addiction not your's nor is it a choice to be sick as an addict...to use yes is pretty much a choice but in the addiction it's hard to "choose not to" if you have easy access.
Again not all this applies to all....I'm only speaking from 1st hand knowledge.
OH YEAH.................. and hiding places.........I've found that most use until it's gone unless they have a larger supply (ie more than a gram which some do in one line or so depending on the person).......if he buys small the likelyhood he does it till it's gone is probably good. If you find it you should show it to him and ask him to get rid of it......it could get really ugly if you attempt to do so yourself......IMO.
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~ What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?~
Love is an easy word to say. Make him prove it with his actions.
blind ottor, wouldn't you be defensive either way? if i wasn't doing something and somebody confronted me on the issue i would probably be defensive. when i find an item like a staw, i walk up to him and say what is this, and don't lie to me, i'm not as stupid and naive as you think. i don't think thats harsh. i don't know how else to approach the situation.
blind ottor, wouldn't you be defensive either way? if i wasn't doing something and somebody confronted me on the issue i would probably be defensive. when i find an item like a staw, i walk up to him and say what is this, and don't lie to me, i'm not as stupid and naive as you think. i don't think thats harsh. i don't know how else to approach the situation.
Well I never responded defensively anyways, when I got caught doing coke by my ex I would just say, yea I'm doing coke. Want some? But IME cokeheads get super defensive, in a totally out of proportion way -- way more defensive than a sober person would get.
But that's just me.
I honestly have no idea why a normal person would have straws on their person. "Oh, I always carry a straw around in case I stumble upon a nice cool beverage!"
I don't know why people lie about using, it's so stupid. The thing is he will probably lie even if you have a baggie with his name on it in his face, hon. That's how disconnected from reality addicts get.
Haha. my ex insisted that he had no problem doing just ONE line
do one line, or one hit or one whatever...depends on the person and the quality of the substance....then there's the apes...never enough bananas to feed them!
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With nothing to believe in, the compass always points to Terrapin
Okay... You have found many clues that he still does it... There is nothign you can do at this point. He is going to tell you he stop to keep you happy. You are going through his stuff and you know the truth...You need to just up and tell him you know he still does it your not blind... but you think that he needs to think about going into rehab... How long has he been doing this???
The only way you are going to get him to stop is get him to go to rehab at this point. He has an addiction, and with coke he just can't up and drop it the next day... It doesn't work like that.
He's probably not going to stop for anyone. He's gotten caught so many times. If he hasn't stopped yet, He's not going to. Plus he's an idiot for being so sloppy.
Some people get quite when their skeed. Others don't shut the **** up! . That's also a sign.
But you don't need signs, You've caught him so many times, how much more confirmation do you need? If it bothers you..leave him. He won't stop. Not a wonderful drug like coke. I was strong enough to. Well...I love my fiance more than it so I chose to stop.
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I want to be the one he looks at, then smiles and says to his friends--that's her...
i wish it was that easy. i know i probably sound stupid, but i just don't know what to do. i love him so much. he put a ring on my finger at the end of december and we talked about getting married 08/07. i hear he said she said **** all the time, but everyone says i can't say anything to him unless i know for sure. i just got a phone call like that saying somebody said your bf is pretty bad into it. but i always get the you can't say anthing. i don't know who to believe. almost all of the time he is either w/me or at work (he works 60hrs. a week as a restaurant manager).
well, i guess he was bad into it before we met and then stopped. we've been together for about 4 years now and last summer (june through august) he did it a lot. he confessed to me last august and cried w/me and told me he would never touch it again. then a couple days ago when i found a straw he admitted that he somebody gave him a little bit (a bartender he goes and sees at a bar) and he did it and that was stupid of him. he swore that that was the only time since late august.
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I Notice Myself Becoming So Sick To My Stomach All The Time. Whenever He's Not Around I'm Searching Everything.
What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?
Love is an easy word to say.
Make him prove it with his actions.
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