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Am I being played?


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 3rd October 2017, 9:25 AM   #16
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So here's an update.. I think I received all the information I needed at this point...

I talked to her yesterday during lunch about our status and if she truly wanted to be with me. I kept getting responses like "I think so" and "I hope so" but nothing really absolute. Obviously, that is somewhat of a red flag. She got emotional thinking about the situation so the conversation ended.

I followed up with her after work and again, she got emotional and even lashed out a little. This was basically what was said..

-She feels horrible for everything and doesn't want to just give up on her family.
-She also feels that by leaving she is destroying her family.
-She doesn't want to have to deal with the bf for years to come because she believes he is going to be difficult.
-She doesn't want her son to be messed up from the situation and having to shuffle him back and forth, custody, etc.

At that point, I had realized what was happening. I left and later that night we were texting each other. I told her that I still loved her and she also said she loved me as well. She also said that she does still want to be with me "for the most part" but at this point, I doubt I can take any of that seriously.

I still haven't figured out how I'm going to start pulling back yet but I know it's what I need to do now. There is no future here and I'm an idiot for ever believing there was.

I appreciate all of the input from those who posted. It may not be what I want to hear but it's definitely what I needed to hear. Thank you!
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Old 3rd October 2017, 9:40 AM   #17
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You know what you need to know. Time to move onon and not be her plaything.
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'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to'

'If a man wants a woman to be an angel, he must first create a heaven for her. Angels do not live in hell'
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Old 4th October 2017, 11:12 AM   #18
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She wants some fun outside of her current relationship, and that's it.

I'm sorry you are hurting.
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Old 4th October 2017, 3:17 PM   #19
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Thank you! It does suck, not going to lie. Just when I started to feel on top of the world (mostly because I believed it would work out) I'm right back in that hole again.

I mean don't get me wrong.. if she just wants to have fun.. she could of just said that. There was no reason to make all these plans, talk about wanting to be with me, etc. I just don't get why that was necessary unless she actually did believe in it too and just crumbled in the end when she thought about what she actually needed to do. I suppose at this point it doesn't matter.

I haven't initiated NC yet.. haven't worked up the strength to do so. I am well aware, the longer I wait, the more I just hurt myself.
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Old 5th October 2017, 10:21 AM   #20
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A little song by Paul Simon might help 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. Just break up with her, no excuses, and go NC.
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Old 5th October 2017, 2:31 PM   #21
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That won't be necessary at this point. She's been breaking down pretty bad.. she hasn't cut off contact but it's obvious this is over. I really don't need to do much on my end other than move on.

She told me today that she does love me and she does want to be with me but doesn't want to deal with court and custody over her child, a pissed off boyfriend for however long.. so it's pretty much done.

Like so many others, I got screwed. Amazing how we fool ourselves into believing it was actually going to work out.
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:20 AM   #22
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Take her at her word. Sounds like she does have feelings for you and she does want to be with you. Treasure that. But in her current situation she has too much to lose in being with you...
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Old 20th October 2017, 6:26 PM   #23
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She probably got a new OM she is interested in.
Just say'n
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:39 PM   #24
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Neo

I think you should be celebrating the fact that the insanity is over.

YOu need to free yourself from the drama and get right away from this woman.


Do you not think it's awful that she would take her child to meet her lover?

Is she really what you would like in a woman?

Poppy.
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