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Investigation: The begining of the end?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 14th June 2017, 9:48 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Uncle Boogie View Post
Wow...that didn't take very long. I looked at my phone and saw a message left by one of my friends who I asked to drive by my house sporadically while I was gone. Without even listening, I had that gut feeling you have when you suspect something that turns out to be true. In my driveway was the a$$hats car. He stated that the car was there a while because the hood was cold. I knew at this moment my marriage was over. Throughout my life I have lived by the philosophy that once I make up my mind...that's it. Sometimes I get bit but all in all it has worked out for me. Please don't get argue about it, it is just the way it is and I have always lived with the consequences.

I am cutting my meetings short and flying home in the morning. My wife does not know I am coming home early. Right now, I have so many ideas running around in my head on how to confront her; am I going to leave or make her leave or even listen to her at all. I am very confused and angry. Maybe I should fly home and stay with a friend to cool off before confrontation.

You know...by re-arranging the spark plug wires on the distributor cap basically makes a car impossible to start or drive. Maybe his car will still be there when I get home.
Keep your own advice in mind. You've got the upper hand.

Why not consult with a lawyer first? Figure out the road map for legal action and exactly what you'll need.

Your wife and her side piece aren't too bright, which is why it wasn't hard to figure this out in the first place. The last thing you want to do is confront her too soon and deprive yourself of potential evidence gathered, or do something that paints her as sympathetic/helps her fundamentally tenuous case in court.
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Old 14th June 2017, 9:54 AM   #32
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Seeing a lawyer to determine your rights is smart. There is no need to gather evidence to make the STBExW look bad. In the US we have No Fault divorce. It doesn't matter why the marriage ended & fault is not a factor in dividing assets.
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Old 14th June 2017, 1:06 PM   #33
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I want to thank everyone who has replied. I did take the groups advice and went to my friends house when I got into town to cool off and get his advice. I have a good friend who is a attorney who specializes in divorce so I will give him a call. I still have not contacted my wife that I am in town. I feel so isolated. What happens when the person you trust the most breaks that trust in the most hurtful way possible.

My wife just called me wanting to know how things are going and when I am coming home. I was suppose to come home Friday so I guess she is checking to see how much longer she can "entertain" Doctor Dick. His name is Richard so he is now called Dick.

So this is what I saw on the video recording. Camera's were set in several locations in the house: living room; bedroom and outside pool. Dr. Dick shows up 2 hours after I left and is immediately greeted by my wife with appears to be a big sloppy kiss and grope. Immediately off to the bedroom where I caught all their sexual prowess on high definition video along with corresponding audio. Hearing your wife tell her AP how she never felt this way with anyone else and how he understands her is a bit too much. She did mention that she has a great life and that she could never leave me because I treat her so well. So...I have that going for me. What a B.

I don't have a plan on how to confront her yet. In my mind I go home while he is there and totally break him. However, my friend has convinced me otherwise. I am meeting with my attorney in an hour to discuss what I need to do, so maybe that will help calm me down.

And so it continues....
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Old 14th June 2017, 1:34 PM   #34
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I have the upmost respect for you. Keep handling it like you are.
You didn't let her win you caught her. Temptation is what got her if this guy was following her around. Remember pain is weakness leaving the body.
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Old 14th June 2017, 1:38 PM   #35
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Unk, I sure am sorry you saw that video. I wish I had thought to suggest that someone you trust screen it first.


I don't how you get that **** out of your head.
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Old 14th June 2017, 2:41 PM   #36
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I am sorry this has happened to you. Right now, you have the upper hand. I suggest you make the most of it. Protect yourself and your assets. Close down or set up another account at your bank without your wife's name on it and put half the assets in it. You don't want your (ex) wife raiding your bank account and draining it dry after you kick her out. If you have something valuable in the house that she might take on her way out, perhaps you should secure it before confronting her. As far as the confrontation itself, put the sex acts on a DVD and tell your wife that you found an interesting DVD you'd like her to see, then when she has sat down with the bowl of popcorn, play it for her. Don't say a word. Hand her the papers to terminate the marriage, then tell her she ought to go to Dick's house for the foreseeable future. She is his problem now. Her free ride is over. Good luck, and remember to keep on posting - there is the equivalent of centuries of cheating wisdom on this board, all of it learned with great pain for you to draw upon.
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Old 14th June 2017, 6:04 PM   #37
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That's hard to deal with. I guess you felt the video was necessary.

Do you think this is irretrievable now? I suppose it is even worse because of what she said.

Sorry. I am glad you are not confronting him or her at this point and taking advice. You need support anyway.
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Old 14th June 2017, 6:15 PM   #38
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Scorched earth.

Are you in an alienation-of-affection state? If so, sue the doctor.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th June 2017 at 7:17 AM.. Reason: language ~T
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Old 14th June 2017, 6:42 PM   #39
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I suspect he's probably married as well so definitely inform his wife immediately

Sorry man but with what you've seen I'd just end it and move on.
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Old 14th June 2017, 6:55 PM   #40
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Wow.

Only thing Id recommend at this point is cover your assets before you talk to her. Maybe clean out your accounts and protect whatever else you might have before she has a chance to do the same.

What a crappy position to be in. But she was caught red handed, so its not like there can be another explanation. At least the wondering is over.

Good luck. This may be a long haul for you.
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Old 14th June 2017, 7:13 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Boogie View Post
I am cutting my meetings short and flying home in the morning. My wife does not know I am coming home early. Right now, I have so many ideas running around in my head on how to confront her; am I going to leave or make her leave or even listen to her at all. I am very confused and angry. Maybe I should fly home and stay with a friend to cool off before confrontation.

You know...by re-arranging the spark plug wires on the distributor cap basically makes a car impossible to start or drive. Maybe his car will still be there when I get home.
Sorry to hear the news. A potato shoved into the exhaust should make the car inoperable without causing a lot of damage. He may wonder where the smell of French Fries is coming from. Listen to your lawyer. Notify the other betrayed spouse.
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Old 14th June 2017, 7:20 PM   #42
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Oh bless your heart!! I'm so sorry you had to see and hear their interaction. You sound like a wonderful man and you don't deserve this.

Great job on remaining level-headed when I'm sure your mind is spinning. Getting all your ducks in a row is the smartest way to go about this. At least you have evidence to hopefully squash any alimony claim this woman may try to make? I know that doesn't make you feel any better...

Keep your head up! I'm glad you have reliable friends to get you through this God-awful time.
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Old 14th June 2017, 7:26 PM   #43
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What an awful woman you are married to. I agree about going "scorched earth", however do not inform her work just yet. If she loses her job, you might be paying alimony for a long time.

When you confront her finally, do it slowly. First reveal that you have suspicions. Let her lie and deny. Then reveal you know you heard that a car was in the driveway. Let her lie about a visiting girlfriend. Then tell her you know the car belongs to Dr. Dick. Let her nervously stammer the next lie. Then tell her you heard she kissed Dr. Dick at the door. Listen to more lies. Tell her she's got one chance to tell the truth before you head over to his house.

Slowly revealing what you know, and humiliating her with her own lies will throw her off balance and put you in control of the conversation. She'll begin to panic that you know everything, and be more inclined to reveal the whole story.
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Old 14th June 2017, 7:30 PM   #44
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Wow....this one really got to me...

UB - since you heard her tell the Doc how she could never leave you,this is what to can expect once you confront her:

Lots of crying
Falling to the floor
Self deprecation
Telling you there's something wrong with her, and she's going to IC
Begging
Trying to have sex with you


Do not fall for any of it. You are in charge of where the relationship goes from here. She knew that having an A could result in divorce, yet she did it anyway. Losing you was with the risk to her. That shows you how much she thought of you. You're her security blanket, her comfort. Nothing more.

And please tell the hospital about the good doc. They don't take kindly to this stuff. And if he's married, expose to his wife.
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Old 14th June 2017, 7:47 PM   #45
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Have your friend drive up behind his car bumper to bumper barricading him in, have your friend lock his car then leave so he can't drive away. Then call her and tell her your 5 minutes away. Take a video, invite his wife to watch as you film it.


P.S. the potato in his muffler works, he won't be able to drive far.

Last edited by aliveagain; 14th June 2017 at 7:54 PM..
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