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[Dilemma with bff]


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 18th July 2017, 8:45 AM   #91
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I just wanted to come back to tell you all what was said.

I responded to his message. Kept it short and told him that I do remember when we used to talk often, but even though we haven't been speaking every day, I think we've had some good conversations lately. I asked him if he thought so too.

I also mentioned to him that a few months ago he said that he wanted us to take a break from each other for a while, I'm not sure if that still stands, so I'm a little confused by him reminding me that we used to talk often and saying that things have changed.

A lot of the things he said in response were really negative:

-regarding him wanting a break, he said that he has been sending mixed messages and he can see how that would be annoying, but things kind of changed for him when he found out that I was going away

- he has no confidence that things will be the same when I leave, and they kind of shouldn't.

- he has been thinking about the past a lot and has found himself wanting things to go back to when they were simple...and he went on to say, and I quote "but it's never that simple. Because I don't think you were truly 'happy', and idk if anyone else noticed. You 'knew where you wanted to be' and that wasn't it. As much as I have claimed to know you, I was still a little ignorant to a few facts, and I'm sorry for just now realizing that."

- he said that from a previous conversation we had, it was clear that we wanted different things but we can at least agree that he wants me to be happy, and he knows it's not by staying here with him. I'm pretty much stunned and hurt he came to that conclusion.

- our conversations were good, he's just resisting the urge to focus too much on the mundane and trivial. This is not the first time he has insinuated this. He has asked me before if I think our conversations have become jaded and predictable. Pretty darn hurtful to hear that. Over the past few months we have shared songs, talked extensively about a tv show we both enjoy, talked about some struggles he has been having, talked about things pertaining to my course of study, etc. If he considers that mundane, then wow

And to top it all off, I responded to him yesterday, but I think he specifically kept the wifi on his phone off for the whole day (I saw him online elsewhere so I guess he was using another device). My message did not go through (and it still hasn't).

I'm pretty sure a lot of you are saying we warned you to let him go...and I know. I only have myself to blame for receiving *just more of the same. Guilt tripping. It's just sad that this is the way things turned out soon before I leave.

Thank you again to those of you who have listened and those who took the time to craft advice for me since page 1 of this thread. I appreciate it.
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Old 18th July 2017, 8:48 AM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
There is more going on with this story.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/brea...rned-about-him

It would appear that this man is not only manipulative, but also very attention seeking and/or deeply disturbed. I would not contact him. It's not healthy what's happening in this relationship, and with this man.
You are right BaileyB. This is far from healthy. I see it now.
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