J_L_C Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I have posted many times about my terrible breakup (Thread that explains the gory details: Sherlock Holmes Couldn't Figure This Out). I want to zone in on something specific that happened THE DAY we split. It's something I just can't shake from my mind. After he broke the news, I ran upstairs crying. He eventually followed me up and we talked only briefly. The split was a total surprise to me. Anyway, he proceeded to try and "make love" because there were "still emotions there". CLEARLY I declined BUT he proceeded to whack off in front of me while I sat there crying!!! MOMENTS after breaking my heart!!! What on earth would possess someone to do this? I would really appreciate honest and blunt viewpoints as this is something I still can't get past or understand :'( Link to post Share on other sites
eleve82 Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Sorry J L C but he sounds like a completely selfish, insensitive, immature person!!! Maybe you should thank him for showing you his true colours?? What kind of self-absorbed prick does this! I hope you feel better soon! Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Have you gone to counseling yet? What answers are you looking for exactly? How does knowing "why" help you in any way? You know what answers you're going to get. He's a tyrant. He's manipulative. He's a douche. He's not an angel. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 He was literally getting off on your pain. That alone should make it easier for you to put this guy behind you and never look back. Get over him, he had no respect for you whatsoever. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
siankat Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 you just dont wanna accept who he is! it's not ur job or place or concern to understand. 12 minutes...after that its on you. are u naturally obsessive? Link to post Share on other sites
BustedUpInside Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 That mental image is now burned on my brain and I wasn't even there! Your ex sounds like a total child! Even if he had all sorts of pent up emotions from the breakup, I can't believe that he didn't possess the willpower to at least hold out until you could leave the room, or stop crying. What a psycho! I would just try, as best you can, to put that memory out of your head because that is really weird behavior that i think the majority of people would be appalled by! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 He should have been seriously injured for pulling some crap like that. I can't wrap my head around someone so sick. I can't really explain why someone would do that other than they were getting off on your pain (which is sick). I just know I would have cut that thing off... We'll see who's in pain after that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Because he's a terrible person. Asking the same question over and over doesn't mean the answer is different. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Yeah, this guy's disgusting. There's nothing to be deciphered here. He's a pig, and doesn't really care about you at all. He's more concerned with getting off. Just keep drilling it in your brain that he's disgusting, and that's the end of it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 That's the worst breakup I have ever heard. I honestly cannot fathom what on earth was going through his sick little brain. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenHeartsClub Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 It sounds to me like your just trying to figure out how he could switch from sweetheart to scumbag, just like that, and you not see any signs. Some people are really good at hiding their true selves (sociopaths and serial killers are among the most common) almost ritualistically. Stop wondering why and beating yourself up because you didn't notice any signs. Now you know and take comfort in the fact that it came sooner rather than later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 The split was a total surprise to me. Anyway, he proceeded to try and "make love" because there were "still emotions there". CLEARLY I declined BUT he proceeded to whack off in front of me while I sat there crying!!! MOMENTS after breaking my heart!!! What on earth would possess someone to do this? Elementry my dear Watson! He's totally bat sh*t crazy! And you're better off without someone that clearly has some psycho-sexual issuses. Link to post Share on other sites
HonestNeurotic Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 That is one crazy person. Sorry that this happened to you. But you know what? You'll never have to deal with him ever again and since he was capable of doing such a thing it's great that you're rid of him before you had a more serious commitment. He did you a favor by showing what an absolutely disgusting pig of a person he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J_L_C Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 I'm not sure he was getting off on my pain per say, but he is an extremely sexual person. He got very riled up and just couldn't "abort mission" so to speak. He had to deal with it right then and there and I just couldn't believe it. It was literally so soon after he broke the news to me! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 but he is an extremely sexual person. He got very riled up and just couldn't "abort mission" so to speak. Why are you making excuses for him? There is nothing "sexual" about a heated break-up and that he got off on it shows what a suck f*ck he is. "Abort mission?" The mere fact that he was AROUSED with you sitting there crying is wrong, wrong, wrong... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I'm not sure he was getting off on my pain per say, but he is an extremely sexual person. He got very riled up and just couldn't "abort mission" so to speak. He had to deal with it right then and there and I just couldn't believe it. It was literally so soon after he broke the news to me! He got riled up in the process of breaking up with you. Breaking up with someone is not an orgasmic experience. Stop making excuses for the man. Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 He became sexually aroused by the pain he was causing. There are people in this world that feed off the suffering of others. Be glad that you are rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I'm not sure he was getting off on my pain per say, but he is an extremely sexual person. He got very riled up and just couldn't "abort mission" so to speak. He had to deal with it right then and there and I just couldn't believe it. It was literally so soon after he broke the news to me! So he broke the news, you ran upstrairs crying and not a single fiber in this man's being was overcome by guilt, sadness, anxiety, compassion but instead, had sex on the forefront of his brain and was going to get it from you regardless of your emotional state. And here you are making excuses for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J_L_C Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 I didn't mean to make it sound like I was making excuses. I was just explaining what happened. I was indictating I didn't think he was doing it BECAUSE OF the pain I was in. He's just the type to try and get as much as he can, WHENEVER he can. It's just disgusting given the state of things. I just honestly cannot comprehend it. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I didn't mean to make it sound like I was making excuses. I was just explaining what happened. I was indictating I didn't think he was doing it BECAUSE OF the pain I was in. He's just the type to try and get as much as he can, WHENEVER he can. It's just disgusting given the state of things. I just honestly cannot comprehend it. So why not stop trying to comprehend it and just accept that it happened and there's nothing you can do to change it now so it's not worth questioning anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 He's just the type to try and get as much as he can, WHENEVER he can. ^^^ You just summed up your prince ^^^ Yes, blowing a load off is much more of a priority because what he wants he gets, even when he knows he just tore your heart out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J_L_C Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 So why not stop trying to comprehend it and just accept that it happened and there's nothing you can do to change it now so it's not worth questioning anymore? It matters because its still something I can't get past and hearing others opinions and viewpoints helps to give me strength to do so...as well as a reminder that he indeed IS a complete louse. Link to post Share on other sites
Giha Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 This is wrong on so many levels. Be glad you are not with such a psychopath anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J_L_C Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 This is wrong on so many levels. Be glad you are not with such a psychopath anymore. It's just scary to be with someone for such a long time and not see ANY signs of such capabilities. He was amazing while we were together. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 It matters because its still something I can't get past and hearing others opinions and viewpoints helps to give me strength to do so...as well as a reminder that he indeed IS a complete louse. You and I can't orgasm in the midst of seeing someone hurt, BUT HE CAN. Therefore, you CANNOT comprehend his mental state because it's not how we would behave and if we don't behave that way, it would be difficult to understand why this man is wired in such a way. No matter how many questions you ask, no one on this forum can access his mind, but all you need to know is that it was wrong, it was cruel and it was selfish. Period. You can't get past it because you refuse to believe who he is, because believing who he is forces you to accept that you weren't as valued as you thought you were. And that hurts you because you want so desperately to be special to him. So, you push reality away because there has to be some other reason or there must be some justification as to why he suddenly became a douchebag. You'll run around in circles asking why, why, why to avoid confronting the blatant truth. The sooner you quit trying to psycho analyze him and start accepting what is right before your eyes as unusual and uncommon behavior then the faster you come to terms with this. Stop trying to comprehend when he was showing you, in action, who he was. Accept it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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