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Getting back on the horse.


Satu

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Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before.

 

Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before.

 

By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future.

 

The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb. Some short term counselling if that appeals to you.

 

'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do.

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The most important thing anyone should do for themselves is to never make another person the center of their world. Another person should be part of their world, but the nucleus is always YOU. I don't care how long you are with a person, how much you love them, how much they love you . . . you should have a rich, fulfilling life before they came along and, if it ever ends, you have that to rest on. You never lose YOU. They should only add to, enhance that. There may be, and should be, some differences in terms of interests, hobbies, etc. and some that you share, but never lose yourself in someone else.

 

Yes, you might grieve for their loss, but don't let go of or lose focus on YOU. It's kind of like losing cabin pressure on an airplane -- put the oxygen mask on yourself first . . .

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The most important thing anyone should do for themselves is to never make another person the center of their world. Another person should be part of their world, but the nucleus is always YOU. I don't care how long you are with a person, how much you love them, how much they love you . . . you should have a rich, fulfilling life before they came along and, if it ever ends, you have that to rest on. You never lose YOU. They should only add to, enhance that. There may be, and should be, some differences in terms of interests, hobbies, etc. and some that you share, but never lose yourself in someone else.

 

Yes, you might grieve for their loss, but don't let go of or lose focus on YOU. It's kind of like losing cabin pressure on an airplane -- put the oxygen mask on yourself first . . .

 

I agree absolutely.

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