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Developing Social Skills



I've always had the worst social skills. I have been painfully shy for years and struggled with social anxiety. Its strange how I put myself out there by joining social groups, yet feel so uncomfortable being around people. I tend to think that everyone thinks I am a freak because I used to be so socially awkward.


But another reason is because I lack social confidence and I really don't know how to present myself to others. The only time I am relaxed is when I am silly, spewing one-liners and laughing. Yeah, that may sound like a good thing, but I feel so odd about it. Maybe because its a first step in feeling good in my own skin. It's my only ability to give and take without being so wrapped up in myself and my doubts.


I'd like to develop social confidence more, but I guess I struggle to accept that confidence. I've been socially awkward all my life, and I feel being that funny person who makes others laugh or at least raise their eyebrows or nod in agreement is the only other option. I used to try to be more serious, but that only brought out my nerdy side, which is very strong! :laugh:


I don't know what my point is here. I'm just growing into new skin, and it feels so strange. Its like I set out thinking that when I get better confidence, I would be and feel a certain way. But oddly, its become something I didn't expect. Or maybe this is just a step to being that stronger person with a firmer voice who gives off that confident vibe I always wanted to be.


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Hi Pearl27,


I personally think that being shy is not such a bad thing. Why not embrace it?

I was very shy myself as a kid and wanted to change that about me. So I decided to put myself in situations where I had no choice to not be shy- like going to places where I didn't know anyone. So steps by steps I started re-inventing myself - Nobody knew me and I could be anyone. After some times I realised I was not so shy anymore but I still was analysing people like a shy person.

I love it, I see things like other people don't and I'm not shy anymore.


I've recently started a blog and wrote an article about shy girls and why do men like them. I invite you to check it out :)

Do guys like shy girls? This story should convince you...



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Hey Pearl,


Being shy suckes there is only one thing you can do about it and that is just fight and be stronger. If you want to say something say it. I used to be shy alot of the time but I just fighted it. People now laugh at me when I tell them that I'm actually a shy person because they don't notice it these days. Even though I still experience it sometimes.


Another thing that greatly helped me is to Always treat yourself the best you can. Make sure you are always the best you. Try working out, make yourself look nice, smell nice and work on your body language. It's not as easy as it sounds but trust me things will get better over time if you constantly keep improving yourself and the best thing is if you are on your best people will notice you more easily and give you better energy which removes the feeling of shyness a bit.




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Hi Pearl27,


I believe that all these hesitations ur leaving with now, will bring only good experience for u. Yes, building social skills and new contacts could be called some kind of art, but I think, everyone can find a talent for this in his own person. Analyze feelings and make yourself sure that they are not making u weak)

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