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betterdeal's Journal

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A few of weeks ago, the letting agency told me I had to pay 6 months rent in advance or leave. I choose to leave. I then felt quite wobbly for a while after that. As an Army brat, I moved around every 1-3 years and have done since I left home (and bounced back home a few times in my twenties / early thirties), so moving isn't a big issue for me.


I've realised that part of the wobbles was down to the fact I had rented this place as somewhere for me and my ex to live together, and moving is going to put the final nail in the coffin of that idea.


Now that I realise that, I feel cleansed. I am letting go of that part of my past. It's a very chilled house in a quiet area, so it has served well in helping me calm down and avoid the old life I was leading. I'm not tied to this town at all. I have some friends here, but I make friends easily, and I've just applied for a job that may take me to living in Barcelona; something I've wanted to do for years.


So I feel good. This is the house where I tried to kill myself, but it is also the house where I called for help, where I hit rock bottom and where I started to climb out of it, with the help of many lovely people.


I'm looking forward to living somewhere new, to not looking over my shoulder ever so slightly hoping not to bump into the ex or the myriad men she was involved with. I'm looking forward to a new job with a new team, and an income (money has been draining away fast!)


I've made this place work for me, and I'm proud to have lived on my own successfully. It's been a liberating experience. Now I get to leverage all that work and move on up even further.



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