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Satu's Journal

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Entries in this journal

One day at a time.

No relationship is older than one day.   They need to be refreshed every day with a new investment of love, commitment, and passion.   If they aren't, they either die, or become stunted from a lack of feeding.   Sometimes people just forget to invest.     All that any of us can do is to keep pouring the best of ourselves into our relationships, day after day.   At first that sounds like a tall order, but it isn't really, because all we have to deal with is one day.

Satu

Satu

When does the sadness stop?

The sadness stops when you stop 'sadding.'   Thoughts and feelings are behaviours, not something you can't change, like the weather.   When you finally decide that you've been through enough, you'll stop.     Take care.   PS: You've been through enough.

Satu

Satu

"I'll never find anyone like her/him again."

I understand what you're saying, but in my world you experience the deepest possible connection when you extend yourself to another, to the greatest degree possible for you.     Total extension of the Self.   Nothing held back.   Nothing conditional.   Nothing reserved for 'maybe later.'     I don't think that the real problem is the difficulty of finding someone like her again.   I think that the real problem is that you've self-protectively closed your heart to some extent, as a result o

Satu

Satu

Loneliness and Solitude.

It is possible to get into a relationship with yourself that gives you a sense of deep satisfaction and fulfilment when you are alone, but its something that takes time to establish. It means getting to know yourself bit by bit, until you finally realise that it's ok to be happy.   The culture we live in constantly bombards us with the message that happiness is outside of us; that we can only be happy if we can find someone who loves us with a kind of fierce intensity. The real truth is that ha

Satu

Satu

Debriefing yourself.

Carry on 'debriefing' yourself and expressing your thoughts and feelings.   Telling your story is an important part of the healing process. Its usually necessary to tell the story a few times over, as new insights and realisations come to mind.   Carry on telling your story.   Carry on until there are no more realisations and insights to be found in it.

Satu

Satu

Wobble.

Its important to keep ones centre of gravity within oneself, whether single or coupled.   For some people when in a couple, their centre of gravity becomes misplaced, and they 'wobble.'   Their sense of self becomes unstable.

Satu

Satu

Fighting for?

(From a recent thread; not applicable to everyone.)     Whenever I hear someone talking about "fighting" for someone, it always makes me wonder what they mean...   Who do you fight, and with which weapons?   Very often, it seems to be case that this "fighting for," just means an attempt to persuade someone who doesn't want to be with them, to want to be with them.   I see that is a big problem.   Our wants are mostly determined by internal processes, often below the level of conscious thoug

Satu

Satu

Jealousy.

Jealousy isn't about other people.   It's a consequence of how you feel about yourself.

Satu

Satu

Can't be happy without your ex?

You can't fill the emptiness from outside.   You used your ex to temporarily patch the emptiness, but that can only ever be a temporary fix.   You should cultivate feelings of loving kindness for yourself and others inside yourself.   Cultivate empathy and compassion towards yourself and others inside yourself.   That is the only way you can permanently fill the emptiness.

Satu

Satu

I wonder what my ex is doing...

It doesn't matter what they are doing.   You are what matters.     Focus on yourself.     Your thoughts matter.   Your feelings matter.   Your healing matters.   Your journey through life matters.   Your hopes matter.   Your fears matter.   Your dreams matter.   Your learning matters.   Your realisations matter.   Your growth matters.   Your understanding of yourself matters.   Your return to happiness matters.

Satu

Satu

How to be a master of online dating.

These are the rules which guarantee success in OLD:     1. Never ever answer a text or message.   2. If you're disinterested, act interested.   3. If you're interested, act disinterested.   4. Only kiss on the 11th, 2nd, or 19th dates.   5. Always take your ex along on dates.   6. Always be honest about how many people you are exclusively dating.     Never been known to fail.

Satu

Satu

The super powers of unfaithful married men.

Unfaithful married men are especially good at two things:   1. Telling lies.   2. Finding people who will believe those lies.     Many of them do this again and again with woman after woman.

Satu

Satu

Fundamental truths for the newly single.

The fundamental truths of Taoism:     Things change.   People change.   Situations change.   Nothing ever remains the same.     What is most important is to adapt to these changes as completely as possible.   You are now a single person, so you have to restructure your life so that being single is enjoyable, rewarding, and fulfilling.   Look at all the possibilities that are now open to you because you are single.   Don't sit and look into the hole where your girlfriend/boyfriend used t

Satu

Satu

Fwb?

"Love without sex is a shame, but sex without love is worse."     (Thats just my position; ymmv.)

Satu

Satu

Erased from the book of my life.

When I removed a person who deeply hurt me from my life, I did something I'd never done before.   I promised myself that I would never again speak that persons name.   I never have.   I've found it to be very empowering.   Recommended.

Satu

Satu

Now Love is Over.

To part now and parting now, Never to meet again; To have done for ever; I and thou, With joy, and so with pain.   It is too hard, too hard to meet If we trust love no more; Those other meetings were too sweet That went before.   And I would have, now love is over, An end to all, an end: I cannot, having been your lover, Stoop to become your friend.     — ARTHUR SYMONS.

Satu

Satu

Think not of the morrow.

Nobody knows what the future will be.   Some people think they do.   Some people pretend to.   But nobody knows.   That's why the present is so awesome.

Satu

Satu

Time heals all wounds?

I absolutely don't believe that "Time heals all wounds."   I don't think that time heals anything.   But I do believe that time spent on healing, heals most wounds.

Satu

Satu

Trying to make your ex want you.

Trying to make your ex want you, is like trying to make them eat a pickle.     "Eat this pickle."   "No thanks."   "Go on eat it, it's delicious."   "No thanks, I don't want it."   "It's a better pickle. It's been improved."   "I just don't want it!"   "I don't understand why you won't eat it.   "I ate one before, and it gave me indigestion."   "Come on, give it a chance. It won't give you indigestion this time."   "You're really starting to annoy me now!"   "Why don't you realise how

Satu

Satu

Not from Mars, not from Venus.

There's a fallacy that many people have bought into without realising it:     "Men and women are polar opposites."     Its not true.   Most of a man is very similar to most of a woman.   There are more similarities physiologically, than there are dissimilarities.   There are more similarities psychologically, than there are dissimilarities.   And here is the biggie:   There are more similarities hormonally, than there are dissimilarities.   The opposite sex are not exotic aliens that ar

Satu

Satu

I carry you in my heart.

Poetry has always played a great part in my life, so I've decided to post more poetry. Here is a current favourite:     I carry you in my heart.     i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has

Satu

Satu

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