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I think our engagement is on to a good start ** Updated **


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 1st October 2018, 11:19 AM   #31
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Angry Once a guy is engaged, do other girls stop mattering to him?

Is his focus no longer on them? because he hasnít communicated with his ex since two weeks before the engagement.
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Old 1st October 2018, 11:30 AM   #32
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One would like to hope so, that exes are just that for a reason, left in the past, not to take into the future and keep alongside new relationships. Some people hold on to exes that were first friends and then lovers, but I only know a handful that has done that ( both genders).
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Old 1st October 2018, 12:26 PM   #33
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Just the opposite. On of my guy buddies used to call his wedding ring the "ring of power" because it made women who wouldn't give him the time of day when he was single flirt like crazy with him. Some women flirt because they think it's harmless that the guy won't cheat & it's just talk. Others want another woman's man.

Your FI is no good. He's a cad with a wandering eye. He would be engaged to his EX before you if she'd have him. You have always been his consolation prize. Get out of this before you mess up your life for good.

Your FI communicating with his EX a mere 2 weeks before proposing to you is a PROBLEM. When he hasn't thought about her or spoken to her in 2 years, then you have something. Now, you simply fail to realize he wants her but is settling for you. Why do you want to be some guy's 2nd choice?
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Old 1st October 2018, 1:49 PM   #34
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Is his focus no longer on them? because he hasnít communicated with his ex since two weeks before the engagement.
I hate to be cynical, but wow, two whole weeks of fidelity!

Destini, you've gotten the same advice across multiple threads. Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted or uncommitted. You need - and deserve - a partner who's all in and this isn't it. Sorry...

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Old 6th October 2018, 2:22 AM   #35
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Post Can guy feel lust toward two people and not feel love toward either one?

From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if itís only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesnít really or never really loved or loves either one of us.
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Old 6th October 2018, 5:35 AM   #36
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From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if itís only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesnít really or never really loved or loves either one of us.
That depends on the guy in question. Everyone loves or not loves. Some can't say the words some can some can't express with feeling or touch. Just express it with object instead.. Flowers or money. But money can't buy love!
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Old 6th October 2018, 6:53 AM   #37
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In my case I noticed that initially I can feel lust toward a woman, but if I get to the point of caring for her or feeling like I may be in love with her the lust goes away and she becomes unattractive to me. Yes I can feel lust toward more than one woman at a time.
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Old 6th October 2018, 10:15 AM   #38
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We plan on getting married in April or May and Iím trying to start early and get everything together and he told me to do all the planning and that he was just gonna show up the day of the wedding.Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing? It seems stressful.
Ask your friends and family to help you. Do they like him/approve of this relationship? Also, what will he be doing while you're running around planning the wedding? Don't make it stressful for yourself. Weddings should be fun and people get bent out of shape about them. Make it small and intimate, just family and a few friends, and have it in someone's back yard.
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Old 7th October 2018, 5:41 AM   #39
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From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if it’s only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesn’t really or never really loved or loves either one of us.
Based on all your threads about him and your very dysfunctional relationship - no, he doesn't love either one of you. Go back and re-read what you wrote here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...uld-change-him

And here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...d-news-updated

I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, but Destini, you know this has never been a healthy relationship and certainly not the foundation for a marriage. Him not being involved in the wedding planning is the least of your problems here.

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Old 16th November 2018, 2:34 AM   #40
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I got married at 22, and I planned the majority of the wedding. It wasn't a bit wedding. Thirty guests, in a small hall in a neighboring town. We had moved from most of our family just before we got married. My husband did help set up day of.
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Old 19th November 2018, 3:04 AM   #41
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Is he any more interested in planning now that there's a bun in the oven?
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Old 22nd November 2018, 2:22 PM   #42
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From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if itís only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesnít really or never really loved or loves either one of us.

It's too late now to be asking yourself these questions. You need to grow up into a woman and a responsible mother. Get that marriage so you & your child are fully protected by law. You've made your bed now you need to lay in it. Good luck.
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