Johnny B Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I just want to say that, in the past I've been a firm believer of NC.. it does work in terms of moving on and forgetting. But what do I do in this case where she works at my company.. in VERY close proximity?!? I can NC all I want but I still hear her on the phone, see her passing in the hall... it's driving me freaking crazy. NC is great AND it works, but what am I going to do??? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Your advice is always sound and deep down I know it's correct. I wish it would be easier than this, time just moves so slowly lately. If time is the great healer, he is not on my side right now. Time alone is a not a great healer. It's what you do with that time that determines how fast you heal. Take control of your life (friends, family, work, hobbies, going out, etc) and leave the ex behind and you will heal quickly. Obsess over your ex and no amount of time will heal you. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny B Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I just want to say that, in the past I've been a firm believer of NC.. it does work in terms of moving on and forgetting. But what do I do in this case where she works at my company.. in VERY close proximity?!? I can NC all I want but I still hear her on the phone, see her passing in the hall... it's driving me freaking crazy. NC is great AND it works, but what am I going to do??? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I just want to say that, in the past I've been a firm believer of NC.. it does work in terms of moving on and forgetting. But what do I do in this case where she works at my company.. in VERY close proximity?!? I can NC all I want but I still hear her on the phone, see her passing in the hall... it's driving me freaking crazy. NC is great AND it works, but what am I going to do??? Get another job. Period. Unless you've got golden handcuffs, there is no reason why you shouldn't switch jobs. Get a new job, transfer to a new location, etc. There are many things you can do. This is another reason why I say "never dip your pen in the company ink." It's a no-no. If it doesn't work out, this is one of the many reasons how it can come back to bite you. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny B Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Out of the question. I have a great career at at great company. I know what you're going to respond... Then just suck it up and chalk it up to a life lesson! Thankfully I can still reason pretty well and assess my situation ... It just feels better when ppl are consoling me, what else can i say? It's natural I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Out of the question. I have a great career at at great company. I know what you're going to respond... Then just suck it up and chalk it up to a life lesson! Thankfully I can still reason pretty well and assess my situation ... It just feels better when ppl are consoling me, what else can i say? It's natural I guess. Then just make it a point to avoid her. No contact means you don't go out of your way to contact them. If you must talk with her, be pleasant and kind but don't make small talk and make yourself scarce/busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny B Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 So I've been taking weekend law classes over the weekend my ex came to my class to make up for one of the classes she missed. We are taking the same course but different schedules, so conveniently, if she misses one, she can come to mine (how nice). Anyway, during a break I passed by her desk to say hello and talked quickly about someone we work with. Then she said that they were having a going away dinner for him and that I should come. Consider that this person, I was not particularly close with, even to the point that we didnt like each other for no other reason than me being an arrogant person... and neither am I close to anyone who would have been attending. So I politely declined saying I have other plans, but thanks and to wish him the very best. When I returned to my desk, she texted me the address of the party and said, here you go in case you can make it. I replied with, No thanks but wish him the best, love the guy! (which is true, I committed to fixing alot of the insecurites I've projected on others. He really is a great guy!) She wrote, since when? I said, I've changed alot. That was it... Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 My thoughts are "why aren't you sticking to nc?" Telling someone you have changed is a lot less effective than showing them. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny B Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Well, her question was referring to the individual and my response was general. I'm feeling better about myself in terms of treating others around me better. Whether she notices or not, I'm not sure. Being that it was a sore point in our relationship.. I don't know how she views it. It was a one off situation to meet in that class and I hope it doesnt happen again. I had a rough last week, I feel like I was doing good for most of Jan, then had a relapse two weeks ago... Now I'm working out of it again, albeit, slowly. I agree that it was a breakdown of my NC and I MUST go back to it NOW. I cannot put out any more indicators for her.. I'm pretty sure she knows.. and although NC is a STRICT policy, aside from this occurance. I was keeping to it. trying my best... J Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 It sounds like she's continuing to get around you on purpose, like how many class has she apparently missed? Too conveniant for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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