yes Posted July 16, 2002 Share Posted July 16, 2002 the only way u can make her realize it's all worth it is to get outta her life, and let her miss the relationship. if she misses it, she;ll come back to u. if not, she doesnt love u anyway. that's it from me, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted July 16, 2002 Share Posted July 16, 2002 Just because you saved money, doesn't mean you can save this relationship. You think she is just going to go "ooooh a trip to Europe, ok, we will get back together". I am sure you have played this in your mind, and you think it will go something like that. You may be digging yourself into a bigger hole. You most likely are pissing her parents off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giraffe Posted July 19, 2002 Author Share Posted July 19, 2002 I met with her mother- gave me much insight into her (the mothers) feelings and what exactally her daughter is feeling at this time also. I took an emotional beating while staning at her door, barred from enterance for a formal adult meeting, but I believe I gained alot from it- I am 99% done with the scrapbook, looks great, and without going into much detail, I wrote a letter in the back mirroring a letter she wrote me when I was about to end it with her many months ago over a lie or 2. sheesh. anyhow- I am going on with that plan, I cant give up now, it is more than leaving out of wanting to be alone to find herself, and it is not a lack of love, believe you me. I am actually feeling pretty good- now, if she rejects this- then bah, her fricken loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks- giraffe Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 19, 2002 Share Posted July 19, 2002 you say you love her -- and I don't doubt that -- but buddy, you've got an odd way of showing it. To this seasoned old chick, your actions scream possessiveness and immaturity. when someone tells you they need space -- for whatEVER reasons -- it's something they really need. Maybe she hasn't been completely honest about the 'why' part for her needing space, but I get the feeeling it maybe has something to do with you not really listening and her not wanting to appear to be a jerk if she told you that you were crowding her. If your love for her leads you two to be so in tune with each other, why are you stalking her instead of giving her some breathing room? Maybe you need to hang on to the album you're making and flip through it and then ask yourself, is she really and truly happy with you. Also, can you honestly say that you're not crowding her space? Do you respect her enough to walk away for the time being because she needs time for herself? If the girl really and truly loves you the way you think she does, then she isn't going to forget about you -- even when time and distance are part of that relationship, it'll work out if it's meant to be and you trust each other. At this point, it doesn't sound to me like you've got a whole lot of faith in this girl, and maybe that you're ego is more important than her needs. Especially when you say, 'if she rejects this- then bah, her fricken loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' At this point, she's definitely better off without some guy who claims to care for her but refuses to place her needs into consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giraffe Posted July 19, 2002 Author Share Posted July 19, 2002 hey- I have given her the 'space' she wants for almost a month now- but the problem is this, is isnt all aobut space. I saw place where I could improve, and I want her to know that I have relized those things. she wanted space beucase she felt constrined, beucase of my actions. regaurdless if she failed to communicate that at the time, she still felt it. I am going to take 1 stab at trying to show her that I have relized blank and blank, and will redefine the relationship for the better. After that, be it NO, then she is off and alone for however long she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessi Posted August 12, 2002 Share Posted August 12, 2002 Ok so giraffe, what happened? Your last post was almost a month ago..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giraffe Posted August 12, 2002 Author Share Posted August 12, 2002 I will post what happened and what I am goint to do, but at this point we are still seperated. thanks for the interest!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ann-onymous Posted August 13, 2002 Share Posted August 13, 2002 so i've missed the happenings of poor giraffe over the past month or else i think i would have commented quite a bit on what he considered the right, manly thing to do, it's a little late now and i dont want to be the "i told you so" type... i did want to say one thing, though, and that is: sometimes posting a question on here helps the actual person that posted it, which it has for me in the past (thank you all), but sometimes when you ask somebody a question and you already know what your actions are going to be, you plan on standing your ground, and dont really accept others' sincere advice, that's too bad. anyway, my point is, i could only hope that all the people who have viewed this long string of posts and replies (and others as well) can really absorb what the loveshack members have to say about relationships, love, breaking up, moving on, and what not. simply reading these posts helps me tremendously! i especially commend tony on the time and effort he puts into his posts, and i think that he and most others on here are hitting the nail right on the head! i hope people can take all this advice and stick it in their heads so that they don't become wacko, bitter exes. we sure dont need any more of them out there, eh! giraffe, i hope everything went well with your ex-girlfriend, it seemed as though you were winding down toward the end of july and picking up on what we said, and if you truly did back off and give her the space she needed and deserved, it was for the best. good luck with everything, and keep us posted! (no pun intended, y'all! ) thanks everybody, just in general Link to post Share on other sites
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