What do I introduce my "boyfriend" as to co-workers?

[DivorcedGirl]

And he gave you no indication of what he wants to be introduced as? I'm sure hes had this problem before in his life.

 

He wants to be introduces by his first name, and he thinks that further details are none of anyone's business. He has never been married, and neither has nor wants children (that's not a problem for me).

 

Let me explain some further "complications". I am Hispanic, and in the Hispanic culture a BF is someone who is expected to financially support a GF. That's not the case in our relationship. He is also a few years younger than me, and our relationship is not based on him supporting me. That, and the fact that neither him nor me are interested in children actually caused me to have a serious rift with almost all my relatives, to the point of them basically not talking to me any more. That used to bother me, but I don't care any more; I used to listen to what my relatives think, but I now figured that all their "advice" amounts to nothing more than passive-aggressive BS and guilt trips.

 

So, back to my co-workers. They have traditional views on relationships, and they would think that I am very "odd" if I were to explain the nature of my relationship with my BF. It would actually be easier to explain if I was dating a woman. They would then think "oh, she is a lesbian, so obviously she is different, so the end of the story". In my case no matter what I call my BF, they will be asking all these questions about "where the relationship is going" and that sort of things.

 

And I do call my BF Master or Sir in private settings, so if there is any term between a Master and a BF, perhaps I can call him that to my co-workers.

[luvtoto]

And I do call my BF Master or Sir in private settings, so if there is any term between a Master and a BF, perhaps I can call him that to my co-workers.

The show "I dream of Jeannie" just popped into my head.

[dgiirl]

He wants to be introduces by his first name, and he thinks that further details are none of anyone's business. He has never been married, and neither has nor wants children (that's not a problem for me).

 

Let me explain some further "complications". I am Hispanic, and in the Hispanic culture a BF is someone who is expected to financially support a GF. That's not the case in our relationship. He is also a few years younger than me, and our relationship is not based on him supporting me. That, and the fact that neither him nor me are interested in children actually caused me to have a serious rift with almost all my relatives, to the point of them basically not talking to me any more. That used to bother me, but I don't care any more; I used to listen to what my relatives think, but I now figured that all their "advice" amounts to nothing more than passive-aggressive BS and guilt trips.

 

So, back to my co-workers. They have traditional views on relationships, and they would think that I am very "odd" if I were to explain the nature of my relationship with my BF. It would actually be easier to explain if I was dating a woman. They would then think "oh, she is a lesbian, so obviously she is different, so the end of the story". In my case no matter what I call my BF, they will be asking all these questions about "where the relationship is going" and that sort of things.

 

And I do call my BF Master or Sir in private settings, so if there is any term between a Master and a BF, perhaps I can call him that to my co-workers.

 

If you are comfortable in your relationship, you shouldnt have to explain anything to anybody who you dont want too. You're causing way too much drama for yourself. Learn to be a little assertive and say "No" once in a while. It's a good word to learn, especially if you are going to be submissive in the bedroom, best be assertive with those who dont understand.

[luvtoto]

Learn to be a little assertive and say "No" once in a while. It's a good word to learn, especially if you are going to be submissive in the bedroom, best be assertive with those who dont understand.

I think we are talking about cultural differences in this thread. Mexican women are expected to be submissive to their man.

[luvtoto]

So, back to my co-workers. They have traditional views on relationships, and they would think that I am very "odd" if I were to explain the nature of my relationship with my BF.

Hmm, DG, I can't relate to being submissive to my man. It's not how I was raised.

 

I have an American friend that is married to a Hispanic man. The cultural differences are causing problems between them.

 

Her family and I think he is treating her very badly. But, I guess that sort of behavior is a normal way of life.

 

That just amazes me. I just absolutely can not imagine calling my BF 'master'. NO offense!

 

Just introduce him as your friend...then use his first name. (?)

[dgiirl]

I think we are talking about cultural differences in this thread. Mexican women are expected to be submissive to their man.

 

I'm not too sure about that since she's saying her family doesnt approve of the way he acts towards her and _her_ family is hispanic. She's also concerned with what her coworkers are thinking, and I'm assuming their more american. Clearly she's fearing both cultures thinking she's in an "unorthodox" relationship.

 

In any case, she's causing all this drama by worrying what others are going to ask of her. If anyone asks you something you dont want to answer, tell them it's none of their business.

[TYASAFAHICSI]

I think the master moniker is not a cultural thing but a sexual thing and really has no bearing on this issue at all. Right divoreced girl?

 

Ask him how he prefers to be introduced. Absent that....this is my friend Bill and leave it at that!

 

I hate that there is not a term for an adult relationship other than husband/wife/spouse/fiance/fiancee. Being single post 30 is fine, but when you are in a relationship, you have limited choices....significant other is just bleh....partner has a lot of gay intonations or takes the relationship out of the picture--business partner. Boyfriend or girlfriend just seem so high-schooly--oh and this is my "steady" Bill, he gave me his letter jacket!

 

I have stuck with the this is my friend (without the " marks) and left it at that. People will draw the inferences they want.

 

When asked about where is it going and all.....just say that you are very happy right now and we will see where it goes down the line, but for now I am having the time of my life--as a matter of fact, I got laid this morning before I came to work--how bout you?

[luvtoto]

I'm not too sure about that since she's saying her family doesnt approve of the way he acts towards her and _her_ family is hispanic. She's also concerned with what her coworkers are thinking, and I'm assuming their more american. Clearly she's fearing both cultures thinking she's in an "unorthodox" relationship.

 

In any case, she's causing all this drama by worrying what others are going to ask of her. If anyone asks you something you dont want to answer, tell them it's none of their business.

You have a strong point, dgiirl.

 

I am at a loss as to what advice to give without more information.

[IpAncA]

He wants to be introduces by his first name, and he thinks that further details are none of anyone's business. He has never been married, and neither has nor wants children (that's not a problem for me).

 

And I do call my BF Master or Sir in private settings, so if there is any term between a Master and a BF, perhaps I can call him that to my co-workers.

 

Ok so he wants to be introducted by his first name. So what. It's not that big of a deal is it?

 

Are you joking about the whole Master or Sir thing? I sure hope so.