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where to turn when no one sees it.....


kkvenesky

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I think sometimes mental abuse is just as bad if not worse than any other abuse.. Its blind to others ,they cant see what isnt there on the outside. But is what is going on on the inside.It feels like a knife in your heart. Every other day i hear one put down or another. He says stuff like your an ....hole and your crazy. you have such a bad temper. well i cant take any more he says all this stuff then walks out the door.

 

I cant even give a response. i have to hold it all in. Well i have had my fill the mental is so bad. and i have two kids to take care of, with a straight head i dont want them to know. My ten year old sees what he does..She shows him no respect. How do i teach them to respect there elders when her step father treats their mom with none... I really need help..

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Call your local domestic violence help line. You don't need bruises to be abused. They will help you. Your children don't deserve to grow up in a home like that - people will help you all leave and set up a new life. You can do this.

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Yes, emotional/mental abuse can be just as bad if not worse...but why take it?

 

There is the obvious answer to this, leave. It's the only answer too, they don't change if they have their puppet to keep on abusing...

 

If not for yourself, do it for your kids, I grew up with an abusive father, and I can't tell you in how many ways it screwed me...so if you want your kids to be happy or even normal...he needs to get a kick in the butt.

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I think sometimes mental abuse is just as bad if not worse than any other abuse.. Its blind to others ,they cant see what isnt there on the outside. But is what is going on on the inside.It feels like a knife in your heart. Every other day i hear one put down or another. He says stuff like your an ....hole and your crazy. you have such a bad temper. well i cant take any more he says all this stuff then walks out the door.

 

I cant even give a response. i have to hold it all in. Well i have had my fill the mental is so bad. and i have two kids to take care of, with a straight head i dont want them to know. My ten year old sees what he does..She shows him no respect. How do i teach them to respect there elders when her step father treats their mom with none... I really need help..

 

You talk to your husband and try to get to the root of the problem, if it does not get any better then respect yourself and try to move on by leaving him.

 

When in a relationship you should feel loved and secure, relationships take work and understanding, it sounds like your husband needs some help.

 

If your 10 year old sees you accepting this behavior from your husband that is not good.

 

Try to talk to a family member as well as a therapist so you can gain some perspective.

 

It is however hard not to be emotional when you are trying to talk to an abuser and they are very defensive so you will probably need some help with this one.

 

Just be carefull that it does not turn physical. He is probably unhappy with his life and is taking this out on you, but don't let him... don't let him.

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Talking to abusers does no good, in fact it plays right into them. They'll see it as an opportunity, see you as weak and play nice for a short while making you think all is good, then the abuse starts again only worse...and the victim ends up even further addicted to it...

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Talking to abusers does no good, in fact it plays right into them. They'll see it as an opportunity, see you as weak and play nice for a short while making you think all is good, then the abuse starts again only worse...and the victim ends up even further addicted to it...

 

 

ok what can she do, if she stays with him then they need to communicate, she can not just take this from him. It will continue to tear down her self esteem...

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There is only one solution in abusive situations...get out and cut the abuser from your life.

 

They do not change, maybe 1 in 1,000 does, and for that to happen two things need to occur :

 

1) The abuser has to be sorry and want to change (I mean really want to not just say it, they all say it...)

 

2) The contact between abuser and victim must be broken, because even if they want to change, they are too used, addicted even to having the victim as their doormat, servant whatever...

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There is only one solution in abusive situations...get out and cut the abuser from your life.

 

They do not change, maybe 1 in 1,000 does, and for that to happen two things need to occur :

 

1) The abuser has to be sorry and want to change (I mean really want to not just say it, they all say it...)

 

2) The contact between abuser and victim must be broken, because even if they want to change, they are too used, addicted even to having the victim as their doormat, servant whatever...

 

These are all good steps, but what to do in the meantime, most likely it will take her some courage and assistance to pull this off.

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Yeah, if violence is the fear, she can report it to the police, or talk to an organisation for abused women, there are plenty and they can offer shelter if she feels danger may be involved...

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