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Update -> two men both gone


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I just came back from an event where I met the "other guy again". He didn't expect me to go there - and I just kind of went there to prove to him and me that I don't need him.


I really kind of managed to ignore him - and we ended up sitting across from each other so we talked a bit - totally platonic - totally smalltalk. But I can't say that I am over him and I can't say that he is completly over me - at least his reaction didn't prove that.


I just really don't know what to do - cuz although I know that he is not worth it I still kind of want him...


and then something else totally bothering me happened - it was raining when I wanted to go so I said goodbye to everybody but then came back cuz it was not possible to walk home with all the rain... so when I went back I just went to the first guy I knew and started talking to him cuz I simply did not know anybody else... anyways I had to ask him something and I started an intro with something like I hope it doesn't bother you if I ask - and he (already a bit drunk) -> you want to ask if I have a girlfriend? I mean sorry but why do men always think if you are just kind of nice to them that you want something from them -> I really don't get that!


Anyways, back of my problems - anybody got any advice?


Thanx for the help and support anyways!

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I know I might be over reacting but this is just bothering me sooooooo much!

I don't know, I just need some opinions here to help me think straight! thank you! :mad:

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I read a lot of posts here so I'm not certain of all the background. I don't know about this "other guy" stuff. The only question I can try to answer is when you asked:


...you want to ask if I have a girlfriend? I mean sorry but why do men always think if you are just kind of nice to them that you want something from them -> I really don't get that!


I don't think men always think that. This is an unfair generalization.


However, I usually figure if a girl is nice to me she obviously wants to go to bed with me. My life is really tough that way. There's only so much time I can apportion to sex.


To be very honest, it depends on the way the lady is being nice. It can be in a common human way, for which no message is intended or received. Or it could be in a flirtatious way, where there may be a meaning or may not be.


It is also very normal for a guy to have great hope that a lovely lady is interracting with him because she is interested in him beyond the normal friendship range. Maybe that's an ego thing but I don't think so. Men have the urge to be cared about and if someone shows interest, even meant as friendship, it gives them hope that more may develop. If they don't handle themselves properly, those hopes are soon dashed.


I think once people have had a few drinks, it's pretty difficult to figure out why people do things. The introduction of alcohol into the equation makes the question way too difficult to answer.


If I have not commented on your desired subject, please repost in a more clear fashion, give more background, and state the specific issues you want us to comment on.


NOTE: I was joking above when I said when girls are nice to me it's obvious they want to go to bed with me. But, please, don't take away my hope.

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I think your feelings are normal. When you have feelings for someone it sucks to cut them out of your life. As you can tell from some of the posts on this board, even when you are being treated like crap it can be difficult to move on. It is especially hard when you are feeling lonely. I think time is the key. If you keep busy and go on with your life, one day you will have clarity and will not have such strong urges to get back with him.

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