Author Meaplus3 Posted December 23, 2006 Author Posted December 23, 2006 I have spoken with you in a very even tone. If you don't like the advice you've received and you feel this isn't a good place for you then by all means it within your perfect right to no longer post. I am glad for you that you have friends on which you may depend even if they feel differently than yourself. You are correct: we are strangers so nothing ventured nothing gained. Do as you wish as you have said you are not a child and an adult, thus, your behavior is your responsibility. Best of luck for a wonderful life! As puddle said, you are not a child! Forget the fun. I had to do this and I am ok! Ok for 2 weeks of NC! What I realized here is FORGET it with him. It might hurt like HE** but it will pass. Please try NC for good! AP
bonehead Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 What could be worse you are scaring me. I am seeing precursors to an abusive controlling relationship.
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I wan to apologize for my behavior yesterday. Everyone on Ls is just trying to help, but i , am resisting what I know is the right thing to do. I think the final nail in the coffin is enough to get NC for good. He came over and chit chatted with my h today when i was gone. I ave him apresent last week and I know he will not give me one and my was more sentimental so by not giving me anything along with everything else I am seeing his true colors. By him still being friends with me he gets keep tabs on me and still control me. Not anymore - NC starts right now!!!!!!!!!!!
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 If you are ready for it FF: GOOD FOR YOU...I have also thought that your AP must really be enjoying that he is one-upping your H...
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 what is ap you mean my exmm. why does he even want to talk to him. Why does that make me so mad????
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Affair Partner...exmm-yeah...It's kind of like a passive-aggressive show of superiority... It should make you mad...
bonehead Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 By him still being friends with me he gets keep tabs on me and still control me. Not anymore - NC starts right now!!!!!!!!!!! Light bulb moment?!?!?!? FF, I know i have come across as an a*s, someday hopfully you will understand why
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Why would he want to do that to my H who has been nothing but nice to him. Isn't the Ap the one who slept with me behind my H back. i cannot even face my ap wife. granted I did not like her before the A, but i am so ashamed now and my ap wants me to be friends with her. He must be crazy. I don't know what the he*** i am doing.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 He feels superior to your H because he slept with you...it's like a conquest type thing... FF: Just take it one day at a time, one step at a time...
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I am so mad at him now, he wants to be friends with both of us? What did my H ever do to him. why does he need to prove something. He is no better than a dog that marks his territory
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I am so mad at him now, he wants to be friends with both of us? What did my H ever do to him. why does he need to prove something. He is no better than a dog that marks his territory That's EXACTLY what it is...
bonehead Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I am so mad at him now, he wants to be friends with both of us? What did my H ever do to him. why does he need to prove something. He is no better than a dog that marks his territory Because if he is " Friends " with your husband then there is no reason he cant be " friends " with you. Its about control and ignoring boundries
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I know when i go Nc he will tell me I am being selfish because everything is the way it was before the A. Why does he want to go back? My feelings feel diminished because he wants to act like we are one big happy family and nobody is the wiser. Why am I so devasted?
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 It's hard when you have to say goodbye to someone that you love...
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I wan to go over there and slap him and say wake up!!!!! See GEL I wan not mad at him yesterday, but I was certain he would do something in 24 hrs to rectify that!!!
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 And you were right! But sometimes anger is that emotion that really drives us to change things...
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Is that the answer to why he wants to go back or why I feel so devasted
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I feel like he will just view my anger as he said before immature, selfish, childish, and weak. One day I am friends with him and the next day I am not. My h thinks I am nuts because one day i am tallking to my ap and the next I am not. My ap thinks i am crazy because as he says his feelings for me have not changed he just changes according to my eratic behavior-i.e NC
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 It's hard when you have to say goodbye to someone that you love... This is why you feel devastated...
GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I feel like he will just view my anger as he said before immature, selfish, childish, and weak. One day I am friends with him and the next day I am not. My h thinks I am nuts because one day i am tallking to my ap and the next I am not. My ap thinks i am crazy because as he says his feelings for me have not changed he just changes according to my eratic behavior-i.e NC FF: Really, I think you need to STOP caring what he (AP) thinks...start being a b**** to him...TURN it around on him...
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 GEl I have been a b****** to him more times than you know, but it takes alot of energy on my part and he never seems to take me seriously because i always break it because he always says just the right things and I am mush. I guess like him I need to grow some bA****.
bonehead Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 FF, I hate to break the news to you, but your MM died tonight. Now go mourn him then get on with life.
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Bonehead I love your brutal honesty you are such a guy!!! The only problem with that is that you failed to inform him and he willnot go down that easily. He will kick and scream the whole time he is going.
bonehead Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Bonehead I love your brutal honesty you are such a guy!!! The only problem with that is that you failed to inform him and he willnot go down that easily. He will kick and scream the whole time he is going. Thats what you have to put in your mind. You have to take the mindset that he is no longer.
forbidden fruit Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I get what are you saying,but it might kill me in the process.
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