befuddled Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Aright let see if I can summarize... like a mini skirt: Long enough to cover the subject short enough to be interesting... About 6 years ago I dated this guy for a while we ended up having sex.. he is roughly 6 years older than I. I was young at the time... well younger than I am now. We kind of both went our own seperate ways. I moved about an hour away and he did not have a reliable mode of transport. Needless to say we fell out of touch. I've thought about him over the years, but he pretty much vanished without a trace. I was not stuck on him or anything, just thought it would be nice to see how he was and what he was up to. I honestly tried to find him (within reason). Not stalkerest or anything... no luck. Last week I got an e-mail advertisement for an online dating site... Usually I delete these messages without looking at them. For some reason I decided I'd take a look a one of the picture. I scorlled my mouse until it stopped and I clicked on the link that my mouse had stopped on... you guessed it! The one and only picture I looked at was this guy... I thought GREAT!! How do I send him a message? Well... I had to pay 26.00 for a 1 month membership. So I did. I sent him an e-mail told him who I was and waited. He finally contacted me yesterday, we were both completely blown away and shocked out of our minds. I think he got so excited, that he jumped the gun, and made plans to meet me that night. (Please note: in his bio, he states that he is very busy and has a crazy work schedule and is seeking someone that understands that). Since I was not going to be near a phone and I don't have a cell phone I got his number. He told me to call him at 7 and we'd arrange meeting that night. I called at 7 (I actually think it was 7 sharp... appear desperate, good one) I could tell that he was busy. I asked if he was busy or were we still on? He told me that he had a deadline and was hoping to have it done by 7. So no big deal, he asked if we could meet up today... same call time. I said sure, no biggie I'll call you at 7. We talked for about 5-10minutes, he was so glad that I made contact with him and confessed that every time he drives by my old house he looks for my car. So tonight I call him at 7:10. 2 rings and his phone goes to voice mail? I left him a message with my phone number and told him to give me a call. (I had not given him my number prior to today's message). It's now 8 and he's still not called me back. Have I been blown off? I'm thinking he may have just gotten busy. Could he be nervous? Is this now a waiting game? I don't want to come off too agressive or pushy, although I'm extremely eager to see him after all these years... not even on a potential r/s level. Do I call him agian? Any advice would be nice. BTW, I'm not mad he cancelled... I was bummed, and same for today just a bummer. Help me please. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 YOU ASK: 1. "Have I been blown off?" How are we supposed to know. Based on what you've written, the answer would be no. You need to wait to see if he contacts you and what his excuse is. If he doesn't return your call, either you've been blown off or he got very ill or died. 2. "I'm thinking he may have just gotten busy. Could he be nervous?" He may have gotten busy...that's a very good possibility but that wouldn't stop him from returning your call. Yes, he could be nervous but it's a good nervous if he's looking forward to seeing you...and a bad nervous if he's trying to avoid you. He may be real busy with all those other ladies who have been replying to his ad. But you have to hand it to him, he did warn all in his personal of his tight work schedule. 3. "Is this now a waiting game? I don't want to come off too agressive or pushy, although I'm extremely eager to see him after all these years... not even on a potential r/s level." No, it's not a game. You just have to wait until he calls. He'd call a hell of a lot sooner if you weren't so eager. 4. "Do I call him agian?" I think I would call him again, right now. If you get him in person, then you can find out what's going on. If you get his voice mail again, just hang up the phone. If you don't talk to him tonight and he doesn't call in the next day or two, call him at work in two days and just tell him you're very sorry the two of you couldn't get together but invite him to call when his work schedule is more open to socializing. You have the right attitude about this. Go find a guy who can make time for you and who knows how to manage his time and priorities. Even if you do get to go out with this guy sometime this week, your future outings could be few and far between since his first choice for companionship is his desk at work. Also, depending on how all this works out...see if you can get your money back for your membership in the dating site you had to join just to email this dude. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 So I called him agian and it rang 4 time this time. I did not leave a message. But I'm pretty sure his phone has caller ID so he'll know I called again. Yes, I'm impatient! Yes I'm eager... no I don't know how not to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 YOU WRITE: "Yes, I'm impatient! Yes I'm eager... no I don't know how not to be." That's really too bad...because he sure knows how NOT to be!!! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 the guy might be just as eager to connect with her, but if he's facing major deadlines with his work, it might not be as easy to keep in contact, and soon he's playing phone tag without really meaning to.. Befuddled, you don't mention if you've got his e-mail address, but I'm guessing since you and he reconnected through an on-line dating ad, he's got one. If you have it, send him a nice, brief note saying that you're excited to have been able to catch up with him after all this time, and look forward to getting together with him, then invite him to e-mail you back. It might sound like a poor way of contacting someone, but believe me, sometimes it more than does the trick, esp. when you've got stuff piled up at work and really don't want to be distracted by a phone conversation (at least this mode of communication has come in hady when I get too busy, because a letter is a refreshing break from work). At least give it a try and see how it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 I'm a man, I am extremely busy myself...sometimes overwhelmed...but I find time to offer myself to this board and I always find time for my family, friends and the special people in my life. Trust me on this one, no matter how busy a person is, they can make a five minute phone call. And if a guy is super interested in somebody, he'll find time to see her. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 and maybe an e-mail would work as a gentle nudge, in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Don't you think you have done enough with paying for a membership to email him than call him over and over again. You are back in the picture again. A few days ago he was untraceable. Now you know hes alive & well and you've let him know you interested. The rest is up to him. I would recommend not calling anymore. If for some reason you don't hear from him over the next week than by all means email him and keep it short and brief. You might even want to mention that you did buy a membership just to contact him and that him buying you dinner was included in the package deal. That should be a hint he cant refuse. We have to eat! I wouldn't take his busy schedule lightly. Hes probably single now and must go through an on line dating agency because he does not have time to go out and meet people. Please keep that in mind. If you continue seeing him, this is what you will be dealing with. Look its not even been a week has it? Hes already got you wondering, waiting, anticipating....etc. and it will go on & on. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Hey Velvet. I totally agree with you. I've done my fair share of attempting to contact him. I figure if and when his schedule allows he'll give me a shout. Until then no more from me. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, but then again I'm pretty optimistic... Honestly can say I remember him being a flake... Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 I can't recall him being a flake Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts