can't tell if he's interested?

[31swf]

Here's the scoop:

 

Mid March-I started chatting with this guy on the internet. He contacted me through one of those match sites.

 

We chatted on the weekdays. every other day or so.

Things went well. He asked for my # pretty quickly, but I didn't want to give it to him just yet.

 

A week later he looked it up (we knew full names and jobs,etc. by then). He called but didn't leave a message (told me the next day on email). Then a few days later he called and left a message, but didn't ask me out of anything. we continued to chat on email.

 

The next week I finally emailed him and said I'd like to get together before I went out of town for week.

 

We went out on a friday night a few weeks ago. Had a good time. hugged. He called when he got home to tell me he had a good time.

 

We talked the next day. we both wanted to get together but we both had plans.

 

went out the next Wed. little kiss. then I was out of town.

chatted during the week.

 

I saw him on Sat. at a golf course and he showed me his families farm. Double dated that night with friends of mine. dinner and a movie. a better longer kiss, but not much more.

 

I'm just wondering if he's taking things really slow or if he's not really interested. Also, I've done more of the "asking" but he's always said yes. is he playing it cool to see if I'm interested or is he just being casual cause he's not really into me?

 

that was Sat and I haven't heard back from him. I thought I'd wait to see if/when he contacted me first.

 

Any thoughts?

[Tony T]

I don't see anything here that requires a lot of analysis. Some people just move at a different pace than others. He may not be looking for anything serious right now. He may not feel you are wanting anything serious at this time. There are dozens of reasons he may be moving at the pace he is.

 

I think you are very right in letting him make the next move. As a matter of fact, I don't think you ought to do the asking anymore. If he doesn't ask you out next time, just let the whole thing be over. Relationships of any kind have to work both ways.

 

Now if things don't start moving at a pace that you feel good about and you don't start feeling there is a definite interest on his part, you have every right to move on.

 

There is also a chance that if he's been surfing net dating sites, he may be working (dating) other females at the same time. A lot of his behavior suggests that. But you shouldn't be taken aback if he is. He's done nothing to mislead you and he's not been dishonest. At this point, he has no obligation to tell you what else he does when he's not seeing you.

 

I think you ought to hang in there if you like the guy. Either he will start initiating things with you more often or he will slowly drift into the sunset. Just don't get too caught up in him until he comes around.

[Ed]

Sounds to me like things are going just fine. I would say, right now, he is acting like a perfect gentleman, appropriate in most ways. Now, if a gentleman is not what you are looking for, you may have cause for concern.

 

My suggestion is for you to decide if he is someone you enjoy being around. Do you enjoy spending time with him? If you do, then relish those times and look forward to the next. No need to be in a hurry.

 

The initial stages of a relationship are usually the best. Drag it out as long as you can. Do you feel an urgent need for things to progress at a more rapid pace? If so, why?

[clia]

Well, it is only Monday. I don't think it indicative of anything that you haven't heard from him yet, since you did just see him Saturday night.

 

I agree with Tony that you should let him contact you next. Don't even initiate a chat session or e-mail session with him.

 

Just sit back and wait.

 

If he calls you, then your question will be answered. Trust me, if he wants to see you, he will call. No question about it!

 

If not, don't worry about it. There are a lot of fish in the sea and you'll meet someone else!

 

I think his speed is fine--would you rather have him groping all over you? Relish the slowness. Once you cross certain bridges it's impossible to go back.

[velvet]

Slow pace is good. Its the stage to get to know each other to find out if your good together. Give some details about the date. What kind of questions did he ask? Or did he talk about only himself?

 

If your still interested in him and you have not herd from him by the weekend go ahead and call him.

[clia]

I disagree with Velvet. Do not call him, even if you didn't hear from him this weekend.

 

He has your number, he has fingers, and he has a phone. If he wants to see you, he will call you. If you call him, you are chasing, and you don't want to do that, now do you?

[BeReal]

From the way you've described things, it seems like things are progressing just fine. Maybe you have different views on what "normal" is. He's gone out with you a few times? I think he would have found some excuse not to go if he wasn't somewhat interested. Maybe he is shy about asking you out or maybe you haven't given him the chance. If you want him to ask you out, I'd just carry on being friendly to him and let him know that you had a good time with him. Is he a busy guy? That may factor in how long it takes him to ask you out. Are you concerned that he views you as more of a friend? You could always ask him about it.

[jimthzz]

There are too many rules to the dance, many places to misconstrue.

 

So just ask him him intentions towards you.

 

What's so hard about that?