What does a step dad call his step kids?

[ShoeGirl]

I think it should be up to the kids what their step-parents call them. In my case both of my parents are remarried... it really bothers me when my step-mom calls me her daughter. I used to get really mad at her when I heard her call me her daughter because she never acted like a parent to me, it still bothers me when she says that but I don't get mad at her anymore, I just try and ignore it.

 

It doesn't bother me that my step-dad calls me his daughter, probably because he is more of a father to me than my real dad is.

 

I never refer to either of my step-parents as mom or dad, but I do tend to refer to my mom and step-dad as "my parents" and my dad and step mom as just that "my dad and step-mom"

[ShoeGirl]

I just realized that this thread is pretty old... sorry for the really late response

[Curmudgeon]

It does bother me. My ex has her position on this that she wants to be a family and not a step family.

 

It would bother me too, and did.

 

The ex remarried before the ink was dry on the final divorce order and performed a radical parentectomy where my relationship with my two youngest daughters was concerned -- the only minors left out of five children. She wanted them, her husband and herself to be the perfect little fantasy family of four so she alienated the girls from me because to her, I was an unnecessary and unwanted fifth wheel -- a mere incumbrance and annoyance. How dare I want to parent MY children. It sounds as if your ex is of the same mindset and her husband is going along with it, just as the ex's did.

 

Interestingly enough, he's dead (car accident after three and a half years of marriage to the ex) and the girls and I have great relationships while they now have none with their mother. The girls are also now adults.

 

I have two stepdaughters, both adults, and I refer to them by name or as stepdaughters. They had a father (died nine years ago) and I don't want to be one to them, nor should I. They do often come to me wanting me to act in a father's role but I leave that up to them to initiate. It's often advice from a man's/father's perspective they're seeking but it doesn't change the reality that they are not my daughters. They are my stepdaughters.

[tinktronik]

It would bother me too, and did.

 

The ex remarried before the ink was dry on the final divorce order and performed a radical parentectomy where my relationship with my two youngest daughters was concerned -- the only minors left out of five children. She wanted them, her husband and herself to be the perfect little fantasy family of four so she alienated the girls from me because to her, I was an unnecessary and unwanted fifth wheel -- a mere incumbrance and annoyance. How dare I want to parent MY children. It sounds as if your ex is of the same mindset and her husband is going along with it, just as the ex's did.

 

Interestingly enough, he's dead (car accident after three and a half years of marriage to the ex) and the girls and I have great relationships while they now have none with their mother. The girls are also now adults.

 

I have two stepdaughters, both adults, and I refer to them by name or as stepdaughters. They had a father (died nine years ago) and I don't want to be one to them, nor should I. They do often come to me wanting me to act in a father's role but I leave that up to them to initiate. It's often advice from a man's/father's perspective they're seeking but it doesn't change the reality that they are not my daughters. They are my stepdaughters.

Very well said C . What a mature outlook on the situation.