Trialbyfire Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 That's one confident driving style you have there. Before you said that, I thought it was your perfume. I was late to an appointment so I was weaving in and out of heavy traffic at...shall we say...an urgent speed. He must have liked it. I do select sensuous but not heavy perfumes versus the light citrus types. Perhaps you're right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 I'm really not trying to be mean or rude or anything, its just really puzzling me as to why women are not talking to you. There has to be something else to it. Let us help you deal with whatever that other thing is. Now, maybe you don't know what it is, maybe you just read my post and it all sounds like stupid crazy talk to you, in that case my advice to you is this: Ask the women what they don't like about you, most will ... slowly back away... but some will actually tell you. Probably the mean ones, and they will do it in a mean way but I think at this point it is really something you need to hear. Sort of like, when you go out for job interviews and you don't get hired its ok to call the company and ask why they didn't hire you, in the at same spirit of things. Let us know how it goes and good luck to you. /hugs Then I don't know what it is. I suppose that the tactic you recommend would be worth a shot. I've never really done that on that particularly systematic a basis; I've only ever asked someone "Am I someone you would date?" twice (the responses told me nothing about why not), and never asked anyone why they didn't respond to a hi or the like--I suppose I should do that more regularly. Although, given the original point of the thread, I do not know how to ask why someone has not yet approached me, however. /hugs back. Looks like I'm late to the party too... Hi Trialbyfire. I don't know whether you read this thread before posting, but I did write earlier in this thread that I have no interest in attracting men. Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Lights, I have read quite a few of your posts, and your responses to other people's as well. I know this might not be the best way to get to know someone, but from the way you type at least, you sound like someone who takes life really, really seriously. As a woman, I really don't respond well to that type of approach. If after minimal conversation with someone, he jumps out with, "hey, are you single?" or, "can I call you sometime?" I will turn him down every time. The only people who get any response from me are ones who are lighthearted, funny and quirky in some way. Try something original that will make her remember you. A really good example: I was in a bar with some friends one night, and a guy I normally wouldn't be attracted to came up to our table with a Keno card, asked me to pick a number, and every time it came up, he'd buy me a drink. I thought it was really cute. A totally original approach, so I asked him and his friend to join our table, and we had an awesome night. We hit it off, joked around all evening, and ended up dating for a while. Things didn't work out romantically, but we are still very good friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Hi Trialbyfire. I don't know whether you read this thread before posting, but I did write earlier in this thread that I have no interest in attracting men. lmao, I just read back. Please accept my apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted December 7, 2006 Author Share Posted December 7, 2006 Lights, I have read quite a few of your posts, and your responses to other people's as well. I know this might not be the best way to get to know someone, but from the way you type at least, you sound like someone who takes life really, really seriously. As a woman, I really don't respond well to that type of approach. If after minimal conversation with someone, he jumps out with, "hey, are you single?" or, "can I call you sometime?" I will turn him down every time. The only people who get any response from me are ones who are lighthearted, funny and quirky in some way. Try something original that will make her remember you. A really good example:... Hi Konfuzd. Thanks for that example--I'll keep it in mind, and I'll see what I can do to be less serious about this. Do you have any advice on how to start receiving approaches of similar nature? Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Do you have any advice on how to start receiving approaches of similar nature? You need to stop obsessing over this, 99% of women do NOT come up to men and say "Hey there sexxy! Let me buy you a drink and take you home because I need some good lovin!" It does not happen, if you have a 2nd cousin who it happened to it is because he was 22 and at marti gras or fantasy fest, it happened once, he exaggerated the story, and hes still telling it 10 years later. Please get over this idea of hot women following you around on the street just begging for you to give it to them. You have much bigger problems to tackle Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 You need to stop obsessing over this, 99% of women do NOT come up to men and say "Hey there sexxy! Let me buy you a drink and take you home because I need some good lovin!" It does not happen, if you have a 2nd cousin who it happened to it is because he was 22 and at marti gras or fantasy fest, it happened once, he exaggerated the story, and hes still telling it 10 years later. Please get over this idea of hot women following you around on the street just begging for you to give it to them. You have much bigger problems to tackle Yep. That stuff only happens in the movies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 I don't normally dignify this sort of stuff with a response, but I will intervene to prevent future thread hijacking; I did find several good posts here to be of value and I will not have this thread ruined (I'm apparently not the only person who sees this thread as being of value, given that it has over 1800 views so far). ... Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator : Yesterday at 8:57 PM. Reason: Removed rude remark I recommend the Sylvan Learning Center for your reading comprehension. And if the actions of the moderator yield any information, perhaps your vocabulary and diction might also require some work. To avoid hijacking my own thread, I'll stop this line of discussion here. Yep. That stuff only happens in the movies. The post you quoted has nothing to do with what I was writing about. What I was writing about happens in real life as I have witnessed myself and as several users (Kamille and D-Lish, for examples) who have written here have done themselves. Let us please stick to the topics being discussed here? Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 I can only speak from the perspective of a female, so I'm not really sure what you can do as a male. Historically, it is men who initiate the conversation and make the first move. The only think I can suggest is that you make eye contact, smile and look away. Try this a couple times, if you catch her smiling back, give a little nod, and see if she comes over to you. If you're really looking to hook up with someone, I think you gotta take the bull by the horns, bud. You can't sit at home and wait for life to happen for you. It's like banking on winning the lotto on a ticket you find on the ground. There's no guarantee that you'll win if ya buy a ticket, but it sure increases the odds! Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 How exactly is telling you that your expectations are completely unrealistic "hijacking"? You have said yourself that women do not even bother to talk to you when you initiate the contact. Don't you think that that is a much bigger problem that you have? Deal with that before you worry about why they are not hitting on you. Did you ever stop to think that the two might be linked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 How exactly is telling you that your expectations are completely unrealistic "hijacking"? You have said yourself that women do not even bother to talk to you when you initiate the contact. Don't you think that that is a much bigger problem that you have? Deal with that before you worry about why they are not hitting on you. Did you ever stop to think that the two might be linked? Perhaps. So far, Xhie has offered me some advice on handling that problem. Can't say so much about you so far, however. Such discussion, however, is not in the scope of this thread--the more literate among us would have noticed that the thread is called "What does it take to get asked out on a date?", not "How do I get myself responded to?". Please do feel free to write all about that, and to tell the people I've witnessed, along with D-Lish and Kamille that being asked out is unrealistic--but in private messaging or in some other thread, not on this thread. Can we please leave future discussion of this on topic? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 I'm finally back, as things have been somewhat more normal. So far nothing seems to have changed as far as this half of my dating life goes. I'm still stranded in 1955, with neither lightning rod nor plutonium fuel available to power my return to my time period, and Doc Brown's nowhere to be seen. I'm still doing what I can regarding self-confidence (in accordance with Kamille's advice so far). Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 I liked this thread. There were many invaluable quote. BUT I really wonder how they do in their life. It's really easy to talk about what someone ought to do on Internet. We all know what is right. but the fxxin problem is EXECUTION. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 I liked this thread. There were many invaluable quote. BUT I really wonder how they do in their life. It's really easy to talk about what someone ought to do on Internet. We all know what is right. but the fxxin problem is EXECUTION. I don't really understand what you're saying here. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 I don't really understand what you're saying here. It seems straightforward enough. What's not to understand? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 It seems straightforward enough. What's not to understand? MagicHands, I am aware of your reputation for your brand of humor. Unfortunately, your application of it here it amounts essentially to spam, as it does not assist any of the thread's readers in finding the advice they seek. If you must continue with your spam, please do it on some other thread. To avoid thread hijacking or polemicism, I will not continue this line of discussion further. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 MagicHands, I am aware of your reputation for your brand of humor. Unfortunately, your application of it here it amounts essentially to spam, as it does not assist any of the thread's readers in finding the advice they seek. If you must continue with your spam, please do it on some other thread. To avoid thread hijacking or polemicism, I will not continue this line of discussion further. I don't really understand what you're saying here. Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 What I am trying to say is that. When someone ask for advice, people say 'be confident man! women likes that confidence!' Do you think these people are actually confident in their real life? or they just say on internet because nobody know who the heck they are? (who knows, a person who gives a lot of advice is, actually computer geek who never met a women but knows many love theories??) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 What I am trying to say is that. When someone ask for advice, people say 'be confident man! women likes that confidence!' Do you think these people are actually confident in their real life? or they just say on internet because nobody know who the heck they are? (who knows, a person who gives a lot of advice is, actually computer geek who never met a women but knows many love theories??) So you question the experience of the people giving advice here? We'll have to see when they chime back in... Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi Lights, nice to have you back! Hahaha this is funny - I was in the 'in search of'section because I'm thinking of starting a thread on self-confidence for the simple reason that lately, I just don't feel that confident... Maybe YonYon is right (twilight zone music here) But yet, the fact is, I can totally tell people react differently to me when I feel great about myself (and I become more approchable when I feel great about myself). Hmmm. But I don't have time to start the thread right now - I'll do it later! Til later then you all! K Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi Jerbear, Are you sure this post is in the right thread? This thread was about how to get approached and asked out, not how to find out if someone is single when conversation has already started. Men have to be the aggressor and ask a woman out.. not the other way around.. if a man is EXPECTING a woman to ask him out he is going to be lonely. I think a man can create and interest in a woman with flirting etc etc that will make her let you know that she is interested but you are still the person expected to ask the woman out.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 (who knows, a person who gives a lot of advice is, actually computer geek who never met a women but knows many love theories??) That is BS and a wrong generalization .. I give a lot of advice and I don't have problems meeting woman.. I've been married before and have quite the list of GF's... Meeting people of the opposite sex it is all about Self Confidence.. the more confidence you exude the more people will want to be around you. Who wants to be around someone that doesn't like who they are and doesn't look like much fun to be around.. even if they are a bunch of fun to be around they still have to exude that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 Hi Lights, nice to have you back! Hahaha this is funny - I was in the 'in search of'section because I'm thinking of starting a thread on self-confidence for the simple reason that lately, I just don't feel that confident... Maybe YonYon is right (twilight zone music here) But yet, the fact is, I can totally tell people react differently to me when I feel great about myself (and I become more approchable when I feel great about myself). Hmmm. But I don't have time to start the thread right now - I'll do it later! Til later then you all! K Thanks and welcome back too. if a man is EXPECTING a woman to ask him out he is going to be lonely. Another month, another person who obviously did not read the thread before posting. This is starting to test my patience. I would like to request that no further poster write here unless he or she has read all the posts in the thread. To assume that I'll necessarily be lonely is to make an assumption that is dead wrong. I'll probably be the opposite of lonely if I do my share of approaching and asking out (which I do and then some) and if desirable, socially adept, modern young women do their share of the same in accordance with third-millennium gender roles and if I happen to be included among those regularly approached and asked out. Those of you who are still working on your reading comprehension may begin to realize that this sort of situation was the goal. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 in accordance with third-millennium gender roles and This sounds like some sort of science fiction thread. Are you a Vulcan? Beam me up, Scotty! Those of you who are still working on your reading comprehension may begin to realize that this sort of situation was the goal. Education is a lifelong pursuit. A journey - not a destination. Many of us read plenty good, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 This is starting to test my patience. You just failed my test as a person with social skills... With posts like that you will not get the kind of replies that you are looking for.. Link to post Share on other sites
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